I am officially trying to make it better - can I get some more help please? :)

[Colin Macs Mom]

You know, getting a BBB might actually help - worth a try! We moved Colin to the BBB just after his 2nd birthday and it went quite well.

Honestly though Mukta, I really think you need to stop the coming into your bed, period. You might be fine with it early in the morning now, but as the pregnancy progresses you won't be. And then when you have a new baby.... see where I'm going with this? And Uday clearly will not get the message within a couple of days.

[Lissybits]

Yeh, you rarely get a sensible answer from these boys
N's answer is usually, "I don't know, Mummy!"

I think I would start with a mattress on the floor in U's room - that way you'll get more sleep too.
Then, when he's used to being back in his own bed, I would start with GW and try getting the mattress out or change it for a chair.
How does this sound?

[Mashi]

Massive hugs darling, inside yourself you know you are not a failure, but I can understand sometimes it takes some BWs to beat it into you! 

I know my son is oodles and oodles younger than yours but the first things that I thought of are the same things that have been said on here - getting a BBB and getting a mattress for on the floor for you to camp out in. It worked with my son at 7 months, and I know that's such a different age, but I do think the principal is the same, that he will get used to staying in his own bed for the night and hopefully stop waking to go to you. You can get small rails that go on the BBB as well so it's a more gradual transition from the crib.  Also if you say he is a snuggler, is there anything you can get him to snuggle with at night? Like a larger than normal teddy bear or something of that sorts? I don't know what kinds of things are on the market so I don't know what to suggest but something along that line? But then when he wakes up he can have a cuddle with it, like a giant lovey? 

Really hope everything works out okay and you start feeling better about it soon. I never ever think that a mom who has a little boy who wants to snuggle and cuddle, no matter what time of the day or night, is a failure! Obviously he is snug and secure and content when he is with you, and so how on earth can that be failure?

[Lissybits]

If i didnt know how to go back to sleep or that i was supposed to i wouldnt bother, i would wake up my husband and bug him instead!

LOL Stacy This really tickled me
What would you do to poor DH - make him play with your Thomas trains?

[speechie]

Hi Mukta- hugs for you, and a bit of foot stamping as I will NOT have you call yourself a failure! You are lovely and a good mama!
OK- if I were in your shoes, I would no longer allow any snuggling in my bed w/DS- once he knows he can do it at 6AM, he'll want it at 2 AM...I think the idea of sleeping in his room for a few nights and slowly moving mattress out would work if you are consistent and insist that he sleeps in his bed- in a loving way.
A BBB, well,...I'd worry that he'd just be racing to your room, but I don't know his habits, only you can judge that...
I'd be inclined to use the crib, nip the in mama's bed habit over the next 2 mos, and hopefully have your sleep back!
Hugs, strength and wisdom to you, my friend. Above all, do recruit DH with all of this and take care of yourself!

[clh]

The other ladies have some good points about stopping mama's bed cold turkey, even mornings.  We can allow it occasionally b/c it's NOT a habit.  When it starts becoming one, we have to stop.  I can see that if it IS a habit, you just can't go down that road. 

btw J sounds like Dh, never a real answer to why 

This really made me LOL! 

[Mama2boys]

If i didnt know how to go back to sleep or that i was supposed to i wouldnt bother, i would wake up my husband and bug him instead!

ok now you really have me laughing finally

ok so I think BBB might be too muhc of a step out for him, as he would just run to our bedroom. so might avoid that for now.

So for now absolute no - morning, day or night, sickness or health - to him coming to our bed.

And if he needs I will sit/slepe in his room till he is ok and then try GW I think taht works better for him mixed in with a bit of WIWO. Will keep reporting in here as you all are allowed to kick me (virtually) if I break the above resolve!!!
and fear of you lot will make me determined! Dh is in as he has no choice now I told him he could ahve the crib I cant have him and DS in the bed so its either him or DS and he chose the crib for DS!

Jessica, DS says he likes Colin's picture in your Avatar

thanks all of you - Jessica, Cathie, candice, Stacy, Lis, Mash, clazzat, Sanaya and anyone else who has written on this thread but I ahave missed. I know I am really needy right now and especially with DS's sleep issues so thank your for being patient and often telling me the same thing again and again. which I try to stick to but often breakdown on

I can't say I am feeling less of a failure but you ahve given me some strength and hope to make thsi work again . I need this to suceed so I can be a confident mother to the second one, right now its an all time low.

[speechie]

You can do it!
I know you have a snugglebug on your hands and it will be hard to resist, but you can snuggle him to his heart's content in his own room/bed. Be consistent, be lovingly firm and give no options of your bed. I do think that you've got it licked this time if there is no sleeping/cuddling in your room.
Courage and peace to you, we're rooting for you!

[Mama2boys]

you are right Stacy and its probably my fault as I need to make this resolve and stick to it. And what you point out is exactly right I need to get rid of the co sleeping and stop being grateful for the short night of peace and work for the greater good. I ofcourse cannot manage this with 2 kid,s you knwo I ahve zilch family or friends to support so its me and DH all the way.

I really apprecaite your offer for a phone number, and I will atke you up on it, but for a general chat as a frined and not for this situation as I can't and won't want to wkae you up in the middle of teh night when I break down, so its for me to make up my mind and live with it IYKWIM.

I dont think he needs extra cuddle time as pretty much after dinner to bed time we cuddle and drink milk, read books etc so he gets a fair amount of me time.

I need to change this and now is the time.

[clh]

Go, Mukta, Go! 

[Mama2boys]

and hey I wasnt saying call me at night lol.  ha silly girl i meant like ooh evening or something. I need my rest too, me spirited kaleb is a hand full!

and here I was thinking you were a saint!!!

I had a vision of me calling you, and you waking up Dh for a snack so we could eat and chat in the middle of the night

jokes apart. resolve made so will rpeort tomorrow

[speechie]

Fingers crossed- and hoping you do well tonight!
Even if tonight sucks and the next night, remember, it always does when you are changing a habit! You can do this, and the pay off will be sooooo worth it!
Proud of you, keep on keeping on and I'm here for you!

[clazzat]

(((big hugs))) Mukta.  Good luck - I hope that you manage to crack this quickly.  We're all here for you.

And try not to worry about how you're going to cope with two - firstly, you will and secondly, you have months before you have to, so concentrate on the one you've got at the moment.
Cx

[mari]

Mukta, how does he fall asleep?  Does he just lay down no problem or do you have to do anything to help him.  I mean for naps and bedtime, not nightwakings.

[Lissybits]

Go for it Mukta
You can report in everyday for lots and lots of support

It is SO worth it in the end - I know cos I once had the world's worse sleeper
Big hugs hun