I am officially trying to make it better - can I get some more help please? :)

[Mama2boys]

Mari,

for naps he goes down instantly like in 5 at worst 10 minutes, I just nee dto stand by his bed.

nights its a whole different ballgame and he needs about 30 mins of chattering in his bed befor ehe falls asleep and he needs me by his bed all the time, just standing or sometimes holding his hand.

Last night was awful as expected.

he was in be dby 7:30 but did not fall asleep till 8:30 (only because i think his A time had not been enough) and then woke up at 10:30, 11:30 and 12:30-4:20 I was by his bed holding his hand as he would stir every 5 minutes and ask to hold my hand or try and sleep on it. He did not initially want to go to our bed as we had discussed him slepeing in his own bed but then by about 2:30 he wnate dtoI stuck to my guns and said no and sat/lay down by his bed with my poor arm twisted through the bed side...but it worked and he fell asleep at 4:30 to wake up at 7:15.

So will try and get him into bed by 12/12:15 for his nap and then bed time will proabbly be by 8pm.

So the day will look like (maybe!)
wakeup 7:15
nap 12:15-2:15/2:30 (in bed at 12)
sleep by 8:30 (in bed by

so giving me 5A- 2S - 6A
or is there a problem here?

[Mama2boys]

nope not wrong at all, but as a start I know its not the bets but I nee dto take it a bit easy and managable as well.

the hand holidng was a bit like WiWo, I woudl rmeove my hand and then he would ask I would offer for a few seconds and then again remove. So Iit ha sto go without doubt but for me the first thing wa sthat he did not get out of his room or bed and was trying to stay asleep.

So lets see how tonight goes.

He is already yawning so will take a longer and eralier nap I think...understandably so.

[Lissybits]

Yeh - I agree with Stacy, Mukta (sorry!)
No point replacing one prop for another - so be as brief as possible with the hand holding

Hugs for tonight sweetie pie

[Mama2boys]

thanks ladies. Point taken. We had another chat befor ehis nap and the poor little mite went to sleep without holding my hand.

I explained how it does owee for me to hold his hand thorugh the bars and all i did was stand netx to his bed and occasioannly if he sat up just pat him back to lying and in 5-10 minutes he was out

lets hope the night goes this smoothly. He seems to act like he understands but liek mpst men his hearing and understanding can be selective

might allow him a slightly longer nap only because the night was so rough, but lets see if he will wake up on his own at the 2 hr mark.

[clh]

{{hugs}} & courage & strength for you!  You can do it! 

[Mama2boys]

thanks 

its so greta that you lot ahve more faith in me than me.

[mari]

Mukta, I was doing exactly what you do, holding hands until she fell asleep, then when she woke she wanted my hand, so I put a bed in the room and held her hand all night, result was that not just my hand but I became the prop and I had an even bigger issue.  What I realised was that I had to move myself away from the cot gradually and then I started the WIWO to get me out of the room completely.

Other than a little tweaking here and there with naps and bedtime I think that the main problem is that he needs you to help him to sleep, he wakes and needs you to help him fall back to sleep, hence the reason that he falls asleep happily in your bed.

I also think that you feel guilty when you try to withdraw from him because he cries, but that is good, because when he cries you go and tend to him, which is giving him the reassurance that you are there, so in a weird sort of way, him crying and telling you he needs you is all part of the plan in a way!

So, try to stop feeling guilty and remember that you are sleep training him for his sake, your sake your DH's sake, and your new baby.

Oh, and change the name of this thread please, you are not a faliure by any means and you will do this!

[Lissybits]

Yes - I agree with Mari - STOP feeling guilty woman!!!!

I'm 100% sure that Uday is NOT a poor little mite!!!! He has you as a fab mum - so how could he be?
Great that he didn't make a fuss about the hand holding though That's a GREAT start hun

You CAN do this - if I did - anyone can

 

[Colin Macs Mom]

  Mukta

[speechie]

Hey Mukta- hugs and courage to you! I think it's very positive that Uday seemed to understand the whole concept of owies for your hand through the bars, keep reinforcing that as needed- remember, he DOES understand pretty much ALL of what you say, may not like the message, but does get the concept! keep firm, and you've got this one down!
Hugs for tonight and I hope he took a nice long nap this PM....

[Mama2boys]

thanks all you lovely stalkers for egging me on.

No sleep this afternoon for me and DS only slept an hr, so eraly bedtime with no hand holding. lets hope he is exhausted enough for a decent night...I know I am

btw ladies I hear you on how he need sto sleep indep and how its a good thing, I just am too soft and the bratty kid knows he can twist me around his lil finger! Need to become a bit hard edged for his good now!

[speechie]

I found that Nick's sleep training went better when he was really good and tired. He was so grateful to go to sleep- LOL!

Gird yourself in your armor tonight, softie- mama! You can do it, you can be lovingly firm and consistent- hugs ahead of time and hoping all goes fairly well!

[clh]

Keep it up, hun.  I know it's hard, but you can do it.  We'll be strong with you. 

BTW, I like your title change. 

[speechie]

GLad you finally changed the title! was driving me batty!

[Mama2boys]