I hate meal times !!

[charmie]

My lo had taken to solids immediately.  I introduced her to all the different tastes I came across.  She was a good eater, not fussy at all.  Sometimes she would start by refusing a food, but after the 1st taste she would continue eating happily.

Lately it's a different story.  She is becoming very choosy.  She is refusing foods that were her favourites and puts up a big fight if I try to convince her to take a taste.  Or else she takes it and spits it out again, which makes me furious    At the moment she is having no fruit at all.  She used to have berries for breakfast and loved them.  Then started refusing them so I added yogurt to them.  Now she sucks the yogurt and spits out the berries.  She just wants cereal for breakfast and she'll have loads of that.  She is refusing chicken, tomatoes, asparagus, carrots, banana, apple, mango, salmon sometimes yes/sometimes no.  Won't try fish fingers. 

I have just blanked out.  But mealtimes are becoming dreaded and unbearable.  I used to take the approach that 'this is what's for  dinner/lunch/breakfast.  If you don't want that, you'll have nothing else'.  But lately I have relented on that because she was eating virtually nothing.

I thought it might be teething at first but she has a good appetite for the things she likes.  So probably not.

I am worried that there isn't enough fruit and veg in her daily diet.  The veg intake is still not that bad, but fruit is zilch.  And I am also worried about my approach/reaction to this new dd.

Any ideas/suggestions?


xxx
charm

[anna*]

Just adding ((((((hugs))))))) because we are going through the same thing and it drives me INSANE!!! Especially when he won't even taste things. I think it's just a big part of them starting to take control of their environments, and learning what happens when you refuse. Stan often takes one look and says 'no!' and pushes it away. GRRRRR!! I think it is so hard to deal with because as mothers we are internally programmed to nourish our children. Nothing feels as good as seeing them polish off a big plate of food.

It's better that she's just eating veg rather than just fruit, iykwim. They have a lot of the same good stuff (fibre, vitamins), but fruit has more sugar (natural sugars, but still sugars).

I've found with Stan that if I just put a pile on his highchair tray and go away, he will quite often start playing with it and then end up feeding himself. Not as much as I would like, but better than nothing. I hide round the corner and just peek on him from time to time. The other thing is, he is very keen on learning to feed himself with a spoon. Sometimes will eat feeding himself, but not always. Also, is he is big into 'dips'. breadsticks into hummus, slices of pear into fruit puree, etc. Of course sometimes he just dips and discards, but occasionally he eats them.

Lastly, I know that toddlers appetites drop and are way less than they were earlier. Stan has slept through the night after having nothing but half a banana and a fig roll to eat all day (plus his am and pm milk), so I'm really trying not to stress about it. If he won't eat, I'll give him a piece of toast and if he throws that on the floor, mealtime is over. I know he'll eat when he gets hungry - I just might go crazy in the process

   these toddlers are hard work!!! Good thing they're so cute. Love the new pic of K.

[charmie]

Anna it's exactly the same here.  You just wrote it better    Even the spoon feeding herself.  But when she refuses something she won't even take the spoon in her hand.  Most of the time she just sends it flying somewhere.  Today lunch was fish fingers, couscous and grilled red peppers.  She only had the couscous.  I even tried to disguise the fish fingers into the couscous.  No go!!.  Dinner was brown rice with veg and sauce and grated cheese.  She only wanted the cheese.  Admittedly she never had rice before but she lllooovvveess risotto.  How different can it be??!!

It's very stressful and annoying.  I wish she could just go back to eating us out of house and home.


xxx
charm

[binxyboo]

Are you doing family mealtimes or is she eating on her own? My two always do better with family mealtimes. I think it would be a bit lonely sitting in the highchair on your own, being the only one eating.

[anna*]

Honestly, if she's eating a bit of something at most meals, I think you're doing good. I read that with new things you will often have to offer them 7 times before they are accepted, and I've found that if I keep offering something new to Stan, at first he won't even touch it, but then he gets used to the sight of it, the smell, the touch and finally - if I'm lucky - he'll taste it.    

I guess it's welcome to the fussy toddler stage for us.

[Colin Macs Mom]

Is she teething Charm?

[charmie]

binxyboo we do family meals at the weekend, and during the week I eat with her. 

Anna what worries me is she is not only refusing new foods but also her very favourites 

Colin Mac's Mom I don't think she is teething.  However, I generally suck at determining if she's teething or not.  At 1st I thought it was teething related but now I'm not really convinced, since she will eat loads of the foods she still likes eg cereal which is quite hard on the gums.

I am very concerned about the kind of reaction I should have.  Should I give up and give her what she's more likely to eat?  With this option I am afraid the choice will keep diminishing    Or should I keep offering meals as before and just remove it and offer nothing if she refuses it?  I really need a direction because right now I am getting very frustrated and the frustration carries on after the meals too.  Not very enjoyable.  And she tries to make me laugh when she sees me so stern 


xxx
charm

[Colin Macs Mom]

Charm I would just keep offering her the normal things, and let her make the choice. She'll either eat it or not. And act like you don't care. If Colin knew I cared things only got worse!

[anna*]

((hugs)) I know Charm, Stan is refusing favourites too.

When she's teething, can you offer something softer? If Stan's teething or very tired I will offer him a stage 3 (or even stage 2) pot and he will often eat that.

I don't have any more experience of this than you do, but I'm trusting that if I keep offering Stan varied meals, he will eat when he's hungry. I'm not going to offer more and more choices, because more often than not they end up on the floor too.

[charmie]

Thanks girls.  Will take that approach and let you  know how it's going. 


xxx
charm

[charmie]

After eating nothing at dinner yesterday, this morning she was starving.  So I thought I'd give her some berries, and take advantage of her hunger to stuff her with some fruit    Apparently she was not starved enough because she refused it.  So breakfast over.  She was really upset and I was almost giving up.  I offered it several times and she was furious.  The at around 9 I switched on the tv and sat with her, and offered it again, and she ate it all.  There wasn't much but I didn't give her anything else so that she'd be hungry for lunch.  No snacks in between.  Lunch was ciabatta with salmon, courgettes, tomatoes and cheese.  At first she had a go at it but then she started spitting the salmon and then she refused it completely.  So I let her be and ate my lunch.  But she got sooo worked up.  Screaming like I was hurting her, and then I yelled at her    At the top of my lungs 'Enoouuugh!!'  She stopped and started eating, and ate it all    I praised her a lot for it and gave her a piece of easter egg to reward her (and out of guilt too  ).  This evening she had pitta bread with hoummus with minimal problems.  She wanted more but I gave her berries and yoghurt again instead and she polished it!!

Anything you see that I should/ shouldn't have done? 


xxx
charm

[LucySol]

just wanted to tell you about my experience with food and a toddler.i have a ds who is almost 4.At about 15 mnths ish he started behaving like this and i went about it completely the wrong way.i would try and persuade him,bribe him,once i forced him to take just 1 mouthfull ,plead with him and nothing worked.Mealtime became a complete battle which went on for over a year he went from having such a good appetite to hardly eating a thing he even went on hunger strike for almost a week.he was having to be weighed regularly at age 2 to check he was still thriving i honestly believe this was all down to me.i would stand over him and mealtimes became an anxious and terrible time for both of us.i was just so desperate for him to eat.he was my baby and it was my job to feed him it was only when i became pregnant and i had bad sickness that i couldnt stand the sight or smell of food so couldnt be around him when he was eating.Guess what-he started to eat again,albeit slowly but he got the confidence back to eat and enjoy food again.it still bothers me when i think what i put him thru.i have to really watch myself even now when he is a bit of his food cos i start to get worked up and i can see him panic   i guess what im saying is you just need to back off and dont give her any reaction whatsoever-even be carefull with too much praise if she does eat.
hope things get easier,
Lucy xxx

[anna*]

Oh Lucy ((((((hugs)))))) Thank you for sharing that with us. I totally identify with that feeling of 'he is my baby and my job is to feed him'. I can (usually) be fairly relaxed about most things but food is just incredibly loaded with emotion. Nothing else he can do can make me so angry so quickly! I'm really working hard on relaxing a bit more about it. It is helpful that he is a really big boy so there will really be no harm in him not eating for a day - he is not going to waste away!

Charm, I'm really pleased that K ate! Stan will often eat in front of the telly when he won't eat anywhere else. I hate doing it, but admit that I do resort to it. :/ I think you did well. I know that Stan can spend all day hoovering up snacks, so it's no wonder he's not hungry for meals - the temptation is to give the snacks so that they eat something (and get some peace when they're whining) but I know its best to eat better at mealtimes. The other thing we tend to do which is not good is give him a huge breakfast (he never refuses breakfast and will eat masses of porridge) but then of course he's not that hungry for lunch.

((hugs)) you must feel better that she has eaten more today.

[Colin Macs Mom]

Awww Charm don't feel bad for losing your temper. It happens to all of us.

So it's interesting that she did end up eating what you offered....

[charmie]

Lucy thanks for sharing that.  I am really scared to create negative food associations. It's interesting to see how many toddlers start doing this at around the same time.

Anna I am also being wary of big breakfasts.  Admittedly it should be the largest meal of the day, but not to the point of skipping lunch and dinner.

Colin Mac's Mom, I am thinking that she is just wanting to exercise her new found power in saying 'no'.  She has been obsessed with the telephone forever, and now when I ask her if she'd like to talk to whoever is on the other end she just shakes her head and pushes the phone away.  Maybe it's silly to find a relation between the 2 occurences.  But they sure started happening at the same time  

This morning she refused breakfast of yoghurt and berries again.  Then I tried again with the tv on and she polished it.  What am I getting myself into with this tv thing?

We'll see what lunch will bring.  I hate it that I dread meals when we used to enjoy them so much


xxx
charm

xxx
charm