EASY from birth now 4 weeks and going wrong!

[* Paula *]

Do you think the DF could be interferring with your lo's night time sleep?  If your lo is waking at 9pm for a feed, you may want to offer a full feed here and then see when the next time she wakes up will be, and completely skip the DF.  Just a thought.

Hope today has gone well. 

Yes the site is fantastic, we are all just mums (and dads) who are helping other mums and dads out.  You will soon become addicted just like me  and will find that you are able to help out other mums in need 

You are doing a fantastic job.

[Adaias mom]

Hi Paula,

Well today has been a complete meltdown! Just when i think things are going well, they go horrible. She has slept for all of 2 1/2 hours today total. Todays routine has been:

E 0800
S 0930 - 1020

E 1030
S 1155 - 1230

E 1300
S 1400 - 1440

E 1600
S 1730 - 1800

E 1800
E 2015

She is now with dad and a dummy to keep her quiet. I have tried to get her down sooo many times today, and have spent hours shhh/patting her. I am literally sick of the sight of the nursery. Today has been a complete disaster, i haven't even got dressed! I am very fed up at mo, it seems just when i think i have done something well, everything else has gone to pot!

As for the DF interfering with sleep, i have never actually done a DF. Its just been another feed at 10 as she has always been awake at this time. My Lo only slept for an hour last night between 7 and 9 and that was the first time since birth. She is normally always awake during these hours.

Any advice would be lovely, or just a big fat shoulder to cry on. Dad doesn't understand how hard it is when you have the same thing alllll day. He moans he had a hard day at work! Oh the joy of a break!

Sorry for moaning, but feel better now...oh and i am addicted already!

Hugs xx

[* Paula *]

Huge hugs Helen, things will get better I promise 

How old is your lo again?

Do you swaddle?  I cannot remember if I have asked you before.

[lele]

Paula, thanks for the advice, i went in after 40 minutes today when I new my lo was stirring and put pressure on her legs.  She went back to sleep and stayed down well into the next feed time.  I need to be sure and intervene at this time and help her get back into sleeping longer, i think it will help her sleep better at night too.  Although today she has been very sleepy and has needed pretty much no help at all after the first nap, i wish every day were this good!
Helen, your day sounds like mine the last 2 days.  I don't know what the deal was but I was ready to be done!  It seems like if the morning gets off to a rough start for my lo we are domed for the rest of the day.
This is just a personal opinion but I found that I didn't like a bath being part of the bed time routine with my other 2, I do bath in the morning (or whenever I get a chance during the day ), it seems to work well for us.  I know it is a great cue for bedtime but with my other dd it was becoming too hard to get her to sleep if we had a busy day and I didn't have time to do a bath.  If your lo seems particularly OT at night maybe a morning bath would work for you too.
I also love this site!  Everyone is so friendly and willing to help.  I do a lot more looking than i do posting but I have gotten so much encouragement even when just reading other peoples experiences.   

[Adaias mom]

Paula,

She is 5weeks old and yes i do swaddle. I did stop for a while, but started again when i started easy as she sleeps loads better. Plus i find its a good cue, to let her know its sleep time, even though i don't think SHe has got her head around sleep yet!

Last night went really well though, as she was knackered! She clustered, (she asked for the food herself) at 4,6,8 and 10 then went off like a dream about 1030. Slept til 0430, back off by 0515 and then up dead on 7 for morning feed, and was back down by 0730 for morning nap! I can't believe that she can be such two different babies. She is absolutely brilliant, in the night, and for her morning nap, but it just goes downhill from there!

Also is sleep time supposed to always be an effort? I read the posts and it sounds like everyone just puts there baby down and asleep they go. I do a wind down, swaddle her, close curtains etc, then i will sing to her, and she will be lovely and calm. Then a start the shhh pat, and it all starts! Granted i do the shhh pat in the lying position not on my shoulder as i find she wil drift off a little better there, (Plus i did it wrong at first so she is used to it that way) but she always has to cry and fuss for at least 10 mins in my arms to get to stage 2, then i put her down and sometimes i will be in the nursery for up to an hour just holding her legs and shhhhing her. She will sleep eventually, but as the day goes on her sleeps will be shorter and shorter and we will spend longer and longer in the nursery. What am i doing wrong?

BTW, this does not happen during the night, or her morning nap, i.e. this one, only from the next nap onwards.

Lele, i did bath her at night the other day and she was great! I didn't bath her yesterday as the meltdown just put everything out and i didn't even get dressed!  How old is your LO? Plus i think i may have a problem with fast letdown, as since i have felt my letdown reflex, my LO has started 'Lip smacking' as she feeds causing wind!

Hugs Helen xx

[* Paula *]

lele, fantastic news, so pleased that naps are going better.  With regards to your lo being sleepy, could be a growth spurt.  I found that when my DD went through a growth spurt she was always very sleepy.

Helen, she is still so you, I would not worry too much about it.  I am thinking perhaps your lo's awake time is too long and this is why she is taking so long to settle.

You said that she went down like a dream this morning after being up for only 30 minutes.  Perfect stick to roughly that sort of A time for the first A time.  Then aim for 45 minutes, to max 1 hour A time for the rest of the day, and see how she does.

With regards to her crying etc when you put her down.  Have you tried just laying her in her cot and leaving and seeing how she does?  It could be that she is trying to self soothe herself - Just a thought, might be worth a try, if she cries, you can always go in and do the pat / shhhh.

[Adaias mom]

Paula,

Thanks i will try that today, as i do that during night feeds and the first nap of the morning and she goes down really well. In fact i have just left her wide awake and she has gone down. So i will try just putting her down and leaving her, but i think when she is OT, she won't settle herself.

I also did try yesterday to keep her A times to max an hour, but when it is taking me an hour to get to sleep, they soon become 2! Also i find it hard when she wakes after only 50 mins nap, then won't go back down, or i spend the next hour trying to get her to go down, then feed her, change nappy and its then 2 hours since she has been awake so already OT, then i spend another hour trying to get her back to sleep, and its just a vicious circle!

I am going to try going in during her naps at about 40 mins to see if i can help her to stay asleep. Fingers crossed! I know she can sleep for longer periods as she does 6 hours at night, then two(ish) in the morning, but its the time between 10 in the morning and 10 at night that she just or should i say i can't get it.

Oh btw, i have found that bathing her helps her get a little sleep from the hours of 6 til 10! I did it night before last and she went down for 40 mins, and also last night and she slept for 40 mins. Night inbetween we had no chance of getting her down. So i think its going to be daily baths unless her skin gets V dry.

Many Thanks x

[Adaias mom]

Well first nap was not great as she only managed about 40 mins, so had an early feed then i decided to put her back down at 10. I swaddled her then put her straight in her cot after telling her it was nap time and gave her a kiss, she cried for a bit, then my Air water globe from JML turned up and so as she was whining in her cot, i set it up in her room. Thought it was a nice 'white noise'. I put my essence of lavender in and switched it on and hey presto, little miss crier fell asleep in about 30 secs!

She woke up at her 50 min point, had a little cry and fell back to sleep on her own! This may be a coincedence but she is still asleep now over an hour later! This may just be a good nap, but i am going to have hope!

I think me cuddling her just frustrates her, so i am going to try putting her straight down and leave the cuddles for A time. Will let you know if it continues or if it all goes wrong again later!

xxx

[* Paula *]

Fantastic news.  Could be that she needs some sort of white noise.

  Keep us posted, I am hoping you have found a solution.

With regards to the cuddles, I found that my DD would not like to be cuddled, I would swaddle her, give her a kiss and put her down, she would go straight to sleep.  When she was OT though it was a different story, and I needed to rock her to help her get back to sleep.  We always found that a little APOP (accidental parenting on purpose) was a lot easier to break the bad habit than to break the OT cycle.  Just a thought.

[Adaias mom]

Paula yesterday was fab!

All her naps were well over an hour, and one was 2 hours! She went down on her own every time, and even when she was over tired in the evening went down on her own without any fuss!

She was still awake from about 7.30 pm til 9.45pm but she went down a treat after her last feed, slept til half 2, then went down til half 6! She then had a really good feed and has only just woke up 2 hours 40 mins later!

She has also managed 3 1/2 hours between feeds, but i think that is because she managed a really good feed this morning as for once she wasn't exhausted from the day before!

I'll let you know how the next few days go, but thanks sooo much for all your support!

Hugs Helen xx

[* Paula *]

That is fantastic news 

It makes all the difference when you have a well rested baba.  It makes for a happy and well rested mummy 

I am so pleased that things are going so well for you.

[Adaias mom]

Paula,

Quick question, How do i get one of those counters at the bottom of my page please? I like them and want to join the gang lol.

Another good day yesterday. She is definately loads better going down on her own. Still having her awake time in the evening, do you think that will shorten as she gets a little older. I was wondering whether i should feed her as soon as she wakes once i have put her down at 6/7, and try putting her straight back down instead of taking her downstairs. At least that way she may get used to being in bed from 6/7. I don't know if she will go back down, but i can at least try. What do you think? Or should i just be thankful that i have a good, day and brill night and put up with not having the best evening!

Thanks Helen

[* Paula *]

If you click on my ticker, it will take you to the webpage and you can then create your own.  Once you have created your own, you copy the code that it gives you (I think it gives you 3 types of code, and think it is the second one you copy - but I may be mistaken), you then go into your profile and paste the code into your signature and that should give you a ticker.

With regards to the going to bed later in the evening, I am sure my DD was the same and was only going down at about 10pm at that age, but by 6 weeks, I started to implement a proper bedtime routine, so that I could have both lo's in bed and have a bit of me time before I went to bed.

It is up to you how you want to do it, you can start a bedtime routine now, or leave it for a few weeks.  If you decide to start a bedtime routine now, I would treat the wake up for a feed as a night feed, so go into the room when your lo wakes up, go in, keep the room dark, do the feed, with no talking, just feed, change nappy only if soiled, and then put her down.  This will help her understand that it is night time and she will soon start going back to sleep.

[Adaias mom]

Thanks Paula,

I use the bath, bed routine now, and she now expects a bath and to be in bed by 6 and she goes straight off. She has just woken now so i fed her upstairs and put her straight back to bed. She has gone down but i am not sure how long for! Actually spoke a bit too soon she is stirring! But i will try just keep feeding her until she is happy, and keep putting her back to bed. Hopefully this will soon drum into her that after bath and bed that is bed for the night. I'll see how it goes. Would be nice to have a bit of time with my hubby once in a while when he gets home from work!

I'll try the ticker thing now, you'll see if it works.

[* Paula *]

Great ticker 

Sounds like she is getting to know her bedtime routine.  Keep us posted.