sorry- this may be a long one!

[*Becky*]

oh - to make matters worse we are housebound at the moment as we saw a boy last week who had chicken pox so nobody wants to come near us! Makes me realise that getitng out and about is SO important!

[annette.xx]

hi....bex

sounds like youve got most things under control....really hope i too can...gives me hope cos my baby Jasmine is defo a touchy baby!!

sometimes Jasmine is very hard to read tired signs!!! think today i am beggining to realise that by the time she is yawning or rubbing her eyes she is OT....ive been hawk eyes watching her today to try to read her and discovered that she gets more fidgetey about 10 minutes b4 i normally take her up so just took her up 10 minutes earlier and cant believe it but it took me just 5 minutes to settle her....(im sure this is just a one off)....so look out for this too.....she goes a bit starey and seems to fidget her hands and arms a little...not frantic just kind of twitchy looking......

ive read that touchy babies are very hard to read and its so true....try what i tried and just observe her for the last 20 minutes of her awake time cos I found you can only just tell the difference between awake and getting tired...it was all in the hands!!! and before she starts rubbing her eyes she always seems to bring her hands up near face....

Lizzie.....
 
Do you think that maybe if i tried doing split feed in all her awake times it might help her reflux....was just reading that you should feed reflux babies half feeds and more often so tomorrow think i may try feeding her when i wake her only for 20 mins then try putting her back on same breast 20 mins later after some activity.......anything is worth a try!!!!!

And if you notice me saying above that Jasmine took just 5 minutes to settle....think it may also have something to do with the fan that i put in her room.....i could walk away without that worrying about the bloody floorboards creaking!!! and I made a cuppa without disturbing her....im sure she will still wake at 45 mins but hey a bit of progress sure feels good......please keep those tips coming......you are my saviour!!!

Bex.....

I know im not such a good one to be giving tips cos im having such nightmares but something that really works apart from pm (gremlin zone!!) to calm Jasmine into relaxed state b4 naps is I sit her in swing (on slow) and put her infront of the tv with a recording from sky plus..(channel 624 ....7pm onwards) called a dreamy journey ...its supposed to soothe babies into realm of sleep.....if you have sky you must watch it and see!!!! I always use this after activity to avoid her still being overstimulated...that way i can play and so loads with her in activity time without worrying about her being overstimulated.......im having a bad few days but it was a godsend b4!! ......

You guys are such good mummies....so caring.....thank god for the internet and for Tracey Hogg and her wonderful research ....and this wonderful site......seriously felt soooooo bad this morning and now have new hope again.........I know it will all go wrong again but when it does il be getting more and more knowledge from you guys!!!!!!

Annette.xx

[*Becky*]

Thanks for the tips Annette. Sometimes I feel so bad that I cannot read my own baby even after 6 months but I really do think touchy babies are so hard to read. Today was rubbish with naps but tomorrow is another day and we will try again.
Good luck to you for the naps - we will get there...I hope or else it is one child only for us!!!!!

[*Becky*]

Also - have to add that our house is old and creaks like hell - drives me mad as having a touchy baby who wakes at the slightest thing !!! it does not help! I am forever cursing the doors or the floorboards so really know how you feel Annette. Might try the fan idea!
Keep posting you two - I have a feeling I may really need some advice tomorrow!

[LizzieN]

Hey Becky,
So great to hear that your LO is sleeping through, that does help...does he wake for the 10pm feed or are you dream feeding?  We never did the dream feed because I was worried about feeding him asleep with his reflux, so I tried cluster feeding (also a bit of a disaster with the reflux)...was just wondering if he was asleep for this one and whether you could get someone else to give this feed so you can get a couple of really good nights sleeps??

Sweetie it sounds a lot like you are on an EASY type routine anyway, so I think you should be proud of yourself.  The advice I have been given is that your day should look fairly even with regards to the A time, but often slightly shorter in the morning as this sleep is an extension of their night sleep.  Also if your baby doesn't show tired signs, WATCH THE CLOCK....a lot of babies esp grumpy/touchy/spirited babies only show tired signs when they are actually OT when they are young.  It's funny because now our LO is older we actually are extending his A time even though he looks tired quite early, trying to get him to sleep a little longer...it is never ending I tell you!! I guess the main difference is it gets easier because you aren't so tired (most of the time) and you don't worry quite as much (sometimes LOL)...

If I were you on a 3.5 hour feeding cycle I would say, ok wake up time is 7:00am (or something convenient to you) feed straight away, A time (including your solids ) until about 9am then a wind down (start this earlier if your LO starts getting tired) and in bed by 9:15am.  Next feed 10:30 with the same pattern, next feed 2pm same pattern,  then feed 5:30pm do your bed time wind down and in bed by about 7pm (or a little earlier if your LO seems particularly tired)....I really think this is pretty much what you are doing.

If you are getting lots of 30 minute wake ups, reduce the A times a little and see if it helps.  If you are getting lots of 30+ but under an hour sleeps then your LO is probably a little UT and you may want to gradually increase the A times a little (except for the evening one, which your LO will undoubtedly be tired for)....

It really does sound like you are doing a fab job, just watch that clock for a while and see what happens sweetie, keep posting too 'cause although I am only new I love to chat and will try and help as much as I can

Hugs and smiles
Lizzie

[*Becky*]

Thank you Lizzie - I guess we just have to keep working on the A time. This morning he woke early and I really try not to get him up before 6am as it is too much for me with how hard work he is in the day so I gave him a half feed and he slept for a little bit more = great! He has been up since 7.30am (we do not let him sleep longer than this time) so I guess I will have him in bed by 9.30am. We had been doing ok with this sleep, I had been taking him up at about 1.45/50 and winding down, hopefully asleep by 2 hours but the last couple of days he has been very unsettled and has needed me going in a couple of times before he sleeps.
One thing I do find with Henry is that any stimulation can drive him mad - yesterday he was interested in his mobile but I think because he was so into it it kept him awake and then he was OT. We do have blackout blinds but they do not blackout everything. I think touchy babies really do need as little stimulation as possible - sometimes he even gets cross with the wind down and I just have to put him in bed and leave. We could not do AP even if we tried as I have tried putting him in the bed with us during the day to nap and he just wants to play, not in the slightest relaxed and then becomes manic before crying! Same with calming him. If he does cry in the night and I go in he cranks the crying up about 5 levels and is hard to calm - not a huggy baby at all although he LOVES to be carried. As long as we are on the move he is happy whether that is being carried, in the buggy, car etc.
Phew - long post sorry. Just wondered if this sounds anything like your LO.
Bx

[LizzieN]

Hey there Becky,
White noise has been so helpful to us, we have our DSs room up near the living area and the tv and I swear it has been my saviour   I don't have to creap around because although they still hear the noises you make it's not this huge shock to them.

Do not feel bad that after 6 months you find your baby hard to read, some of them just are!! Tracy herself says that touchy and spirited babies are incredibly hard to read and usually don't display obvious tired signs until they are OT (very helpful huh!!), doesn't make it easy!!  I'm sure you know your LO better than anyone else in the world, so if you find it difficult others would find it impossible LOL

When I started teaching our LO to self settle I had to remove EVERYTHING from the cot, and I still haven't put his aquarium back, as much as he loves it (and we only have it on music, not lights and music - way too stimulating) he keeps himself awake playing with it and then can't sleep....seriously he will play with it for the whole sleep period!!  I would minimise everything from your cot if you can, at least until he is a bit older, I think it will help you

Our LO isn't all that huggy either, but we get the occasional one now which is extra special.  I think they just don't like being confined, want to be off and racing   Watch out he will be off soon....

Keep it up sweetie sounds like you are going great
Lizzie

[*Becky*]

Yes Henry is like that too. The other day he was obsessed with his mobile and wanted to play with it and I felt a bit mean not turning it on but he just then gets so OT.
Thanks for the help - it is great being able to talk to someone who also has a touchy baby. bx

[*Becky*]

Lizzie- if you see this can you give me your thoughts. 9or if anyone else does!)
This is today so far..
Awake at 6.40am
E - 7am
A - 7.15 - 8.30am
Took him up after 1.50 and he was asleep by 2 hours and is still asleep - now 10.20! Amazing and heading for the 2 hour nap...
Now - what do I do for the next A time? Do you think I should try for 2.5 hours or do you think that will be too much? My feeling is to start short wind down after 2.15/20 and have him in bed by 2.25. What do you think?
Thanks
Becky x

[LizzieN]

Hi Becky,
I think I would probably start winding him down a little before 2 1/2 hours and see how it works.  The idea you have is a good one, I might just try a slightly longer wind down on the off chance that he is approaching his tired time, but not quite there (you will know if he is ready I think as he is more likely to get crabby quickly once you start your wind down).  Congrats on your HUGE nap, that's brilliant   I so hope the next one is good too 'cause you are likely to have a much nicer night because of all your hard work


Keep us posted sweetie.
Great stuff
Lizzie

[*Becky*]

oh - confused! Have tried 2.15 and 2.20 but got 30 and 35 min naps both times. Really don't know now. Wish I could get this A time right as it sends the whole day off. Thanks for replying x

[LizzieN]

Yeah look I still completely struggle with the afternoon nap, usually only getting 30 minutes out of him, then another day he will go for hours (very rare) without me doing anything different.  Don't stress about it and don't get obsessive about it, just write down what you have done and what nap lengths you got and check and see if there is a pattern. 

Usually 30 mins means OT, but they will sleep for less than an hour if they are under tired too and just want a refresher nap...I would extend it a little longer say to 2.30 hours and see what happens then, if it makes your LO too cranky and hard to get down you will know that it's too much A time and you can pull it back.....after all even a 30 minute nap is better than an hour of screaming and no nap LOL!!!

You are doing great sweetie, don't worry about it too much just concentrate on having the EASY in the right steps, get the self settling happening as best as you can and just be conscious of what you are doing and either you will work out the best A times, or your LO will grow and develop a bit and start taking longer naps (the sleep cycle increases from about 20 minutes at birth to about 1 hour by 12 months old so developmentally it does improve anyway)....it will all be good

Main thing is that you find a way of living happily together (something we all struggle with sometimes when bubs are not sleeping or well) and you enjoy your family   You are doing a wonderful BW job in my oppinion

Hugs
Lizzie

[*Becky*]

Thanks Lizzie! You have been SO supportive - I really appreciate it!
Becky x

[*Becky*]

What a mess! Can anyone help me try and straighten out this day!!!
Awake at 6am - left to talk/play in crib till 6.15am
E - 6.20am
A - 6.30-7.50
S - 7.55 - 8.30

Regularly we have a 1.20 nap here so not sure why today when everything was same we got much less.

A - 8.30-10.30
After a good am nap I have been trying to extend to 2.15 for the second but does not seem to work. Whatever A time I do I seem to get 30 or 40 mins nap.
Today I decided to have him in bed by 2 hours as he only napped for half an hour. Put him in bed and he cahtted for 10 mins and then began crying. Went up and read the same story again and put him back in bed and now 2 and a half hour later still chatting!

Aaagh - is this child OT or am I putting him too bed way to early. Whatvere I do I just cannot get it right and this has been going on for 3 months. I know from reading BW and looking at posts that he should probably be OT but then why is he not crying in bed but chatting happily. Sometimes I think I have got it SO wrong and he needs much more A time and then I go the other way and think maybe he is really low on the A side for his age.

Please - any help would be so appreciated.
Thanks
Becky x

[*Becky*]

Now he is crying and I know he must be tired!