settling for naps...will it ever become less of a fight?!!

[annette.xx]

Hi all

Just wondering if touchy babies ever stop fighting sleep wind down??

When I put Jasmine down for naps she fights the wind down form the moment i swaddle her until she is starting to fall asleep on me......she starts crying when i sit and sing lullaby (maybe its my singing!!!) and then i shh pat her and she tries her hardest to cry.......she pushes her legs down on me and wriggles around like she is fighting against me......with lots of effort in the shh pat i can normally get her to settle within 5 to 10 mins tho so it normally ends well but its so draining having to fight with her so much......

do they ever get used to it and just accept it...shes obviously tired so why is she resisting it??!!!

She is 12 weeks old...A Time is always around 11/2 hr sometimes a little less if she is really tired .....i stop playing with her about 15 mins before and do a long wind down walking around the house and talking calmly which has helped to get her down!!

So how do i get over this fighting?

Annette.xx

[~Emma~]

 Has she always done it or do you think she could be fighting the swaddle? my LO started fighting naps at about this age and i thought I was totally misreading his cues. After weaning the swaddle and he got used to his arms being out he went down alot better. Just a thought....

Emma xxx

[annette.xx]

she has always fought naps but saying that before i started BW i was following gina ford routine and used to half swaddle her and she used to suck on her hands ......i tried half swaddling her and leaving one hand out when i first started BW and cos it didnt work I stopped but now she has adjusted to the new routine maybe i should try again.......

Il give it a go again next nap...think il just leave one arm out!!

its so weird cos shes so calm until i start the wind down with her!!!

Thanks

Annette.xx

[~Emma~]

 Let me know how 1 arm out goes.  DS also sucks in his hands and now settles so much better. I have also started laying him on side for naps (wedged in between 2 towels!) as it is easier for him to self soothe this way.

Emma xxx

[annette.xx]

I know this sounds silly...but do the towels not roll away to the sides??!!!!...not tried this yet but just trying to picture it!!!!

half hour till next nap so il let you know how it goes!!!....just fed her and she was falling asleep was so tempted to put her to bed cos she was so peaceful (for once!!!)

how old is your LO??

Annette.xx

[~Emma~]

 Hi Annette,

Brodie is now 4.5 mos. We ended up going cold turkey on the swaddle as i'm just far too impatient and I kept reswaddling him and confusing the poor bub.

 At first I put the towels under the sheet but now I just use a rolled up blanket and lay him next to it on his side. It also makes sh-pat alot easier when they are on their side so I have also had a bit more success in extending naps. I introduced a lovie too that I actually put in his hands too try and keep them still, he likes to rub his face with it before going off to sleep.

 Good Luck!

Emma xxx

[annette.xx]

Thanks!!!

I left one hand out last nap and she still fought with me....though not too bad!! Its like she knows when i walk in her room with her that she has to go to sleep cos she whines a bit as soon as we set foot in there!!!

Im nervous that she will wake on the 2nd part of her sleep now.....I will Know in 10 minutes!!!

Also just another question...do you ever get ur LO to sleep anywhere else? for example....My In laws have done a nursery at theirs and got the same cot and everything!!!...my husbands family are really close knit and like to have us all round at weekends....she cooks big roast and they play games etc.... but the last few weeks i have had to stop going cos Jasmine will not go down for naps now!! It was ok before cos b4 starting bw i was doing AP to get her to sleep which usually worked....now she will only sleep if im doing proper 4s routine at home!!!

its a bit light in their nursery tho so maybe that is the problem...or maybe too much excitement...(i do try to take her away for last 15 mins to quiet room).....

also cant take her out in pushchair anymore cos she just wont sleep and then i pay for it all day...have tried taking her out in morning (her best time) but still no joy and cos she feeds for so long (im breastfeeding) by the time she is finished she only has about 1/2 hour A time.......really struggling to have any kind of life......I know A time increases as they get older but seriously I used to be the most sociable person going and now I am a prisoner in my own home!!!

oh bugger there she goes.......Il give her a minute and see if she can settle herself.....im betting no!!!!!

Annette.xx

[~Emma~]

 I'm afraid my LO is the same, he will sleep in the car sometimes though! I have battled with it but I do see it as a positive sleep association. The wee man just likes his own bed! He is quite touchy with his sleep and everything has to be just right. I feel like you do sometimes but it does get better, i promise. 

Don't get too down about, you are right it will get easier once those A's go up. If I have days where naps have gone to pot because of needing to go out I just make sure I can have the next couple of days to get back on track. My LO also takes ages to feed and it can be a real drain on time!

 If DS stirs during a nap I go in and hold the rogue arm down and quietly sh through to the next phase of sleep. She will get the hang of it! 

Emma xxx

[annette.xx]

Guess what.....When she woke at the 45 minute point i went in and shh patted and she calmed really quick...she put her free arm up to my arm and stroked it!!! and then went back to sleep!!!!!

Thankyou so much!!!!......this is the first time she has ever gone back to sleep after waking half way through her nap!!!

im sure its a one off but i will keep on trying!!!

 

 

Annette.xx

[~Emma~]

 

Excellent!! I too am sitting with baited breath during a nap!! 

Emma 

[*Becky*]

Oh goodness me too and my DS is 6 months old. Touchy babies are something else eh!!! My DS is very touchy about sleep i.e. it has to be quiet and dark and he does not want cuddles, he just wants to be left to sleep!!! He will not sleep in the buggy, in public or in my arms, bed etc but he will sleep in the car though and so if I get desperate that is what I do..but trying to less and less now. He is a shocking napper and we have yet to get the A time right and I have been trying for 3 months so hang in there. There are others like us out there and we have a hard job so don't beat yourself up about it. Each day is a new day...she says!!!
Becky x

[annette.xx]

yeah boy is it a hard job!! hardest job ive ever had!!! Im learning to relax with it tho so im not stressing so much in the day if it goes a bit wrong when im at home...its just that im dying to get out again!!!!....

I replied to one of your posts the other day and keep checking back on it to see how you are getting on.....I think you are doing amazing with it....sounds like me and you have the same challenges!!....I too get so confused with A time ...If she has too long shes OT but if its too short UT ...and either of those means very short nap.....think I get one nap right a day at the mo and the rest trial and error (more error!!!!!!)....I think the A time varies every nap...morning she lasts 1 hour....then next one about 1 1/2 but then maybe UT cos she wakes after 30 mins, then next nap wakes after 45 so probably OT and it goes on and on........oh the joy!!! 

hey lets think positively.......if we dont venture out maybe we will escape the swine flu!!....

also I must keep reminding myself that just 6 weeks ago I was seriously wishing I had never had a baby at all....(i know that sounds so evil but it tested my patience to the limit!!!)....she used to feed every hour, not sleep at all between the hours of 12 and 6am.....would only sleep for half hour after a feed then want more again.....I was surviving on 2 hours sleep a day...(did i just say surviving...what a joke!!!).....her colic/reflux was so bad at that point that she would just scream all day.....

rewind 12 weeks and I still remember that first day in hospital.....labour ...then emergency c section.... then mad convulsions for 3 hours.... then peaceful lovely baby for about 8 hours everyone saying what an angel...........then came the midnite hour...... screaming for 8 hours solid!!!! Midwife came and took baby off me after 3 hours so I could get some rest ...and an hour later returned saying she was really sorry but she just could not calm her!!!.....was feeding her all through the nite....bleeding nipples and everything...next day thought I was having a nervous breakdown...how the hell was I ever going to cope???.......
 
and now when looking back I feel so much better about the challenges that lie ahead!!!!

Actually im going to do a new post with this content...labelled....lets all get happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just reading back what i just wrote made me feel so much better!...think sometimes I spend so much time whittling about routine that I forget to enjoy each and every moment with my beautiful baby girl!!!!

and you guys on here are saints!!

Annette.xx

[*Becky*]

Wow - I am not just saying this but you and me seem to have had identical experiences. Me too  - crazy 4 day early labour but very fast when finally kick started. Bad tear = surgery, then sleepy baby for 12 hours so much so that I thought there was something wrong with him. Oh no!!! 12 hours later and like you the midwife came to take him off me as he screamed the place down for a solid night and the woman next to me started crying and shouting!!! Also brought him back and said he was 'trying it on" Can laugh now but seriously...a newborn trying it on.... breastfeeding nightmares, colic, reflux etc etc etc etc and a baby who literally cried all the time...but like you we both have beautiful babies and at the moment I have a friend seriously ill in hospital and it reminds me to get a grip. It is really hard doing this but we can do it. xxx