20 month old dd sleeping fine at in laws but not at home! help please!

[jade4790]

hi rather long - sorry 


my little angel lol is going to bed fine at 7.30pm and straight to sleep, then she will start waking up around 11pm, from then she wakes every 15 mins or so until about 2.30am she just shouts for me, dh tries to settle her but she's having none of it. She's been like this for 5 months, she did have a week of being great again but its started again.

She spends one or two nights a week at MIL's while i work and sleeps 12 -13 hours solid EVERY time she is there.

Same in both houses, dark rooms, 4 dummies, same blankets, same pj's. Even using the gro bag egg temp thing to make sure its the same temp!!!

have absolutely no idea why she's so good there and not at home, other than she wakes up and realises she's at home and that i'll go to her.

I don't talk to her, just lie her down and thats it, and she's fine as i leave the room but then starts up 15 mins later.

I'm so so tired  I have tried ignoring her, going in every 15 mins or so but it doesn't achieve anything as like i said as i leave the room each time, she's calm for a while.

2 weeks later:-

well my little monster is now in a bed!!

she's sleeping fine in it for naps in the day for 2-3 hours at a time, but at night time she's still exactly the same. She keeps getting out of bed and walking to the stairgate on her door and calling me. As soon as i go to her she just turns round and i have to help her into bed and she goes straight back to sleep- for all of about 20 mins lol!! then its goes like that from 11pm til at least 3 am before she gives up and sleeps til 7am.

 i don't talk to her at all, just take her hand and put her back in bed and stroke her head once before leaving her.

Still sleeping 12-13 hours at MIL's though

 So nothings changed lol.

 she sleeps anything from 9.30am to around 12, sometimes less. Probably around 2-3 hours a day, but then she doesn't have an afternoon nap.

I have tried not letting her sleep for longer than an hour or so but then she just turns into a demon child and still doesn't sleep lol.

Last night she was awake from half 11 til 4.30 when i got into bed with her and she then slept til 7am But there is no way i'm sleeping in with her every night - not when she sleeps so happily at MIL'S. She has the same amount of sleep at MILS during the day too.

Everyone just keeps telling me -it'll get better soon- ok- when??!?!


right  have now tried,

 - cutting out her nap- no success(just a stroppy toddler!!)

 - more food during the day and also just before bed- no better

 - sitting out side her door listening in case there's anything waking her up- nothing

 - ignored her(going in every 20 mins) she lasted all night!! stroppy moo

 - she can speak enough to ask for water, nappy etc! so she would ask if she wanted any of these- which she doesn't.

the fact that she sleeps at the out laws drives me mad >:(Friday night she woke at 10pm and finally gave up at 5.30am!! then was up every half an hour til 7am when i got up then last night she was at Mil's and slept for 13 hours

Thanks for listening!

Stace x x x

[1sttimemamma]

This is not helpful, but I just wanted to say sorry and I hope you get good advice! You must be exhausted - your DD too. Can i ask why you moved her to a BGB? Also - is it always where she wakes from her nap at noon and then no sleep until 7:30pm? 7.5 hours is a long time maybe? I'll wait to see what others help you with.

[jade4790]

hiya, thanks for replying.
She won't sleep in the afternoon, i have tried to put her down but she won't sleep.
I moved her to a BGB as she was climbing out of her cot, little monkey!!
Stace x x x

[deckchariot]

{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}  I agree with pp - that length of A time between her nap and bedtime is really, really long.  My dd only has about 4 - 4.5 hrs of A time from nap til bedtime.  What time does she wake in the am that she goes down for her nap at 9:30?  That seems really early for a nap.  At 20 mos, my dd's routine was:

7:30ish - wake
12:30/1 - nap
3/4 - wake
7:30/8 - bed

At 20 mos, most bubs are averaging 1 nap of 1.5 - 2 hrs (my dd has always been on the high end of sleep) and doing 11.5 hrs at night.

It sounds like you're handling the NWs exactly right - keep doing what you're doing (well, except for the getting in bed and sleeping with her bit), but I'm guessing it's an OT issue that's causing those NWs.  I'd see if you can push her nap later in the day (extend her A time just 15 min or so every 3-5 days) to move her nap later, so that A time before bed is not so long.

hth
michelle

[jade4790]

hi, thanks for all your replies
 she gets up around 7am every morning.
But this is the same at MIL's, so she's awake from 12ish til bedtime there too but sleeps 13 hours
Not impressed with her lol
Stace x x x

[deckchariot]

It's really common for bubs to do other things while at other places - my dd always sleeps more at my folks house than she does here too.  I'd still tweak the routine.

[jade4790]

hi, i'll try the later nap tomorrow and let you know how i get on
Stace x x x

[deckchariot]

how did it go?  How much later were you able to push the nap?  Doing it gradually is best.

[jade4790]

hi,
 well last night she went to sleep at 7pm then woke at 9pm but i just laid her back down and she went off.
Then she woke up at 9pm, and 9.30pm but same thing with lying her down and she went back off again.
she then slept til 11.30pm, then woke shouting me- i went in to her and she went back to sleep after about 5 mins.
She slept til 6am!!! 
so loads better than the night before.
Stace x x x

[jade4790]

sorry i forgot to say about the nap. she woke earlier than normal and i went out for the morning, so she had about an hour in the buggy while i was out from 11am til 12pm. and that was it .
Stace x x x

[1sttimemamma]

Have you tried an earlier bedtime? Like 6am?

[jade4790]

hi, me again
so tired,

She is still waking every night she's at home now, and still sleeping 12 hours at grandparents
she has dropped her nap now at both houses so is awake from 6am til 7pm now, which she is doing fine on, not grumpy or tired or anything.

But goes to bed at MIL's fine and straight to sleep and at home she takes about an hour of screaming to go to sleep and then is awake about 9 or ten times thoughout the night, then up at 6am i am so shattered!! i just go on and put her back in bed without talking or eye contact, can take up to 40 times before she gives in!

completely at wits end

Stace x x x

[jade4790]

sorry to be a pain but could anyone help? so so tired had about 3 hours sleep last night
Stace x x x

[deckchariot]

{{{{{hugs}}}}}} Is she in a bgb at home and at ILs?  What are they doing for a wind down routine with her?  What do you do?  When she's home - are you picking her up right before bedtime or is she with you all day and then you have the issues at night?  It still seems really early to me to have dropped her nap, I know you say she's fine during the day, but the multiple NWs seem like OT to me, though I'm not sure then why she sleeps through at ILs.  How often is she at ILs vs. home?

[jade4790]

Hi,
she's in a BGB at both houses now, she has half an hour for bath stories and milk before bed at MIL's and home.

She is the same if i've had her all day or if i pick her up late from MIL'S.

 Yep i agree its early for her to have dropped her nap but yes she's fine at in laws.

 I'm so confused, she went to bed at 7pm tonight and is still screaming now. I'm going in every 5 mins and lying her back down and then coming out. I get so frustrated with her, i know that doesn't help but its so hard! Then i have the in laws telling me i must be doing something wrong :@ grr

thanks for replying
Stace x x x