Author Topic: how do i get 14mo spirited dd to put herself to sleep at naptime?  (Read 1289 times)

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Offline proudmum

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Hi there,

Just looking for a bit of advice, my 14m old dd is great at going to sleep at night, i simply tuck her into bed, giver her her teddy and walk out.  She either just goes straight to sleep, or babbles for a few minutes then goes to sleep. 

Nap times are another story completely  :) she is only having 1 nap now, and the transition went well - it's been a couple of months now.  So she is definately ready for sleep. but when i put her in bed, she just cries/ screams and rolls over (she's a tummy sleeper) and i have to keep rolling her back over and sometimes kinda pinning her down until she calms down and then slowly take my hand off her as she's falling asleep.  I just want to be able to put her down and for her to fall asleep on her own like she does at night  :P  I hate that its a screaming match every nap time. 

I tried doing pu/pd but it turned into a disaster when she got so hysterical that it took me 30 minutes to calm her down and then she fell asleep from sheer exhaustion!

She's VERY spitited and I'm not sure what I should be doing, but I do know I want to try and nip this in the bud now before it gets worse. 

I'd appreciate any advice
TIA
 ;D
Angel/textbook
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Offline speechie

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Re: how do i get 14mo spirited dd to put herself to sleep at naptime?
« Reply #1 on: May 05, 2009, 21:14:42 pm »
Hi- I've got a spirited LO too! I remember those days, it did get better, but we definitely had a phase of naps that were tough..
Can you post your schedule and see if any other moms have some ideas?

Post like this:
wake: 7AM
eat:7:30
nap12-2,  and so on.

Hang in there!
Cathie
                Nick spirited angel, born August 2, 2007

Offline becky1969

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Re: how do i get 14mo spirited dd to put herself to sleep at naptime?
« Reply #2 on: May 06, 2009, 00:12:13 am »
I'm wondering why you're rolling her over if she wants to sleep on her tummy? She's old enough she can roll over by herself and she's also old enough that sleeping on her tummy isn't dangerous.  I wonder if this battle you have with the rolling her over isn't getting her aggravated and therefore less inclined to sleep?

Owen, 12/28/05 7 lb 2 oz

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Offline proudmum

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Re: how do i get 14mo spirited dd to put herself to sleep at naptime?
« Reply #3 on: May 07, 2009, 02:31:30 am »
Hi speechie and becky1969

Thanks for your replies

Firstly our routine is like this

630-7am wake
715 breakfast (bottle first)
1130 lunch
12 - 130/2pm sleep
2pm bottle
3pm snack
530 dinner
600 bath
630 bedtime

Sorry becky I mustn't have been very clear in my first post, when i put her in bed she rolls onto her tummy, but when she is fighting going to sleep she rolls onto her back which is her way of saying "no way am I going to sleep" I roll her back onto her tummy to say "oh yes you are!" 

It's like a battle of wills.  I just put her down after a 10 minute wind down, singing songs anc walking around with her in my arms.  but she still fought me when i put her in bed, but she's so ready for sleep.  it's like she's doing it just because she can, not because she doesn't want to go to sleep.  She'll fight and roll over ont oher back, and kicke her legs, but if I just manage to hold her firmly in place she'll fall asleep almost instantly!  like she thinks "oh ok, she's serious about this, I may as well jsut sleep then!" 

 ::)
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Offline speechie

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Re: how do i get 14mo spirited dd to put herself to sleep at naptime?
« Reply #4 on: May 07, 2009, 18:46:17 pm »
What happens if you leave the room and let her try to settle herself? Does she just fuss, or is it an all out scream for you?
FWIW, I too had a period of time when Nick needed that gentle physical reminder of we're here to lay down now, and it really calmed him. He seemed to like that slight pressure on the hips when he was wound up. I gradually made the hold shorter and shorter, and I was able to just lay him down and leave the room.
Has she had major motor/speech milestones lately?? That seemed to be what happened to my spirited LO and it passed quickly- the joy of movement was too much for him, he couldn't sit still, hence the gentle pressure and helping him slow slow slow down.
Any chance she's OT by the time nap comes around? Have you tried moving the nap sooner by 30 mins?
Just throwing out ideas...
Cathie
                Nick spirited angel, born August 2, 2007

Offline becky1969

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Re: how do i get 14mo spirited dd to put herself to sleep at naptime?
« Reply #5 on: May 07, 2009, 21:39:16 pm »
Like Cathie, we went thru a phase where we just had to give him a little physical reminder (gentle pressure) that it was time to go to sleep.  Mobility is still SO new to them and they are exerting what little independence they have!

What I would probably do is put her in crib, apply gentle pressure and say something like "It's sleepy time sweetheart! Time for night-night's!" then leave the room.  If she cries, go back in and repeat.  If not, let her play until she falls aslepe.  Yes, that may mean 1-2 hour parties the first few nights, but it will get O-L-D and then she'll probably go ahead and sleep.  You can even put her down a bit earlier than normal to allow for some party time so that she's not too OT by the time she falls asleep.

This is just a developmental milestone, not necessarily an expression of her personality type (spirited).  My LO is textbook/touchy (I like to call him touchbook  ;) ), and he did this same thing for awhile.  I think re-framing it in your mind, not as a
Quote (selected)
no way am I going to sleep
willpower moment, but a 'gosh, look what I can do!' moment. 
Owen, 12/28/05 7 lb 2 oz

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Offline proudmum

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Re: how do i get 14mo spirited dd to put herself to sleep at naptime?
« Reply #6 on: May 08, 2009, 02:53:23 am »
 ;D hee hee thanks ladies, the advice all sounds good.  To be honest most of it I've tried, and it hasn't made a difference.  But to hear you say that she may just need a little physical reminder makes it a bit easier to handle.  I was mostly worried that if I didn't try to change it now, because she's so spirited, it would just get worse. 

If I let her settle herself for naps it quickly becomes an all out scream, then she gets so hysterical that she can't calm down.  Same goes for if I do WIWO, it doesn't take long for her to lose it completely.  I have tried earlier naps but all that happens is she sleeps for only an hour or less, this time seems to be the 'perfect' time for her nap. 

I'm not too sure about the milestones, she seems to say more and more words every day so maybe it is a speech one.  She's been walking since 11 months so don't think it's motor.  Now that you've mentioned it I will look out for clues though  :)

Thanks so much for your advice, I will persevere and see how things go  :D
Angel/textbook
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Offline becky1969

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Re: how do i get 14mo spirited dd to put herself to sleep at naptime?
« Reply #7 on: May 08, 2009, 14:25:15 pm »
I'm just wondering -- when was the last time you tried an earlier nap?

Is she getting molars by chance?

I'm half wondering if teeth are starting to come in which is making her more tired than normal. 6 hours is a very long A time for 14 months.  Now, you guys moved to 1 nap at 12 months so clearly she's a long A time sort of girl! But while teething that 6 hours may just be too long.  I might try a 12:00 nap and see if that changes her fighting you.  Your A time before nap is SO much longer than post-nap.  Just a possibility....
Owen, 12/28/05 7 lb 2 oz

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Offline speechie

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Re: how do i get 14mo spirited dd to put herself to sleep at naptime?
« Reply #8 on: May 08, 2009, 19:16:27 pm »
hugs and hang in there...honestly, perserverence, patience and a sense of humor are what saved me! Grad withdrawal worked well at this age for us, and to give you some hope, I thought I'd always be needing to gently pin him to get him to nap, then it just clicked one day and we weren't doing that anymore...
I agree 6 hours is a long A time- I can't get my 21 mo to do that in the morning...
Cathie
                Nick spirited angel, born August 2, 2007