Thats it, im giving up on Naps and Easy

[*Jo*]

Im sick of being brought to tears every day trying to implement some sort of routine, im tired of sitting in his room trying to get him to sleep. Im tired of all the stress of following EASY. Im sick of trying to get rid of the dummy, the swaddle yet im over replugging and reswaddling! Ive been doing this since my LO was 3 weeks old, he will be 4 months old tomorrow... My husband is worried about how stressed out i get as soon as he wakes up at 45 mins and wont go back to sleep for 2.5 hours no matter what we do. I cant get his 6 hours in the day in even with many short naps cos once hes had a 45min sleep hes up till after his next feed! Ive decided thats it, ive had enough, if he wants to be up then he can stay up, im not gonna force him to sleep anymore, im over it, im sitting here in tears as hes only slept 45 mins today and i cant get him back to sleep, how the heck can he survive on only 45mins sleep!
I literally have NO routine anymore except his night one, thats the only one that works, and even then lately thats been uncertain at times.
I spend my whole life trying to get him to sleep these days, i dotn go out, if i do i leave him with Hubby and then hubby ends up stressed out cos he wont sleep. I cant leave him with a sitter cos im so anxious.
I feel like im going insane

[~*Nicole*~]

I am really sorry you are having such a tough time. I wish I had something to suggest that would help to relieve some stress, but I don't really have anything to offer. I have seen you post questions in the past, and I know you have been trying really hard. My only offering is a hug. Not sure if it's an option, but if a relative (your mom/sis/MIL) could come over and keep an eye on lo for a bit, maybe you and DH could go out and spend some much needed, stress free time together for a little while? At least, if nothing else, giving up on EASY or not, you could rejuvinate and come home feeling a little more relaxed and refreshed?

HUGS...again.

[~inbalance~]

Big (((HUGS)))  I have been there too thinking it would never get better.  Sometimes you do have to just take a step back and remember, they're only this little once so if it's stressing you out that much then take some time to recuperate and enjoy your baby.  You don't want all your memories of their early years being of how stressed you were.  FWIW, I didn't even start my LO on a routine until he was 5 months, until then I just went with the flow and followed his lead.  Given he probably could have benefitted from some sort of structure, it never occured to me he needed one until then and everything was fine.  It was difficult for awhile (and it still is a lot!) but I've learned that enjoying my son (and keeping my sanity) are much more important than sticking to the routine everyday.  Things will get better, in the long run you'll be looking back before you know it and wondering where the time went.  So big smiles, tomorrow's another day! 

[debo620]

yup, felt that way with both my kids!

it DID get better right around 6 months, so it will get better for you to..

maybe go out tommorow, will LO sleep in the car or the stroller--really thats okay if he does, its actually great for your sanity. take a break from it, but you will find that now that you know about EASY and sleep and overtired etc, you will be back.

[*Jo*]

Nicole-Avas Mom - unfortunately all my family are overseas and all my friends work or are very busy, we did go out last ngiht to the movies and had a friend babysit (the second time ever) and it was wonderful, i was a bit anxious at the beginning, as he hadnt slept in three hours before the babysitter came though.

Martina Rae - every day i say to myself "today is just a bad day, tomorrow will be better" and usually it is but lately all the bad days have been rolling into one and i cant get back into again, Im afraid its all gonna get on top of him and he will never get back on track again. Hes only just gone down now after being awake 2.5 hours after his 45 min sleep.

And its not like im not trying to get him to sleep, its HIM thats not doing the sleeping, im doing the patting/shhing etc and he just still wont sleep. As soon as we walk into his room he starts fussing and getting crotchety and unsettled. I have to put him to sleep wiht the dummy in his mouth, pat the mattress and pull it out when he stops sucking (doing the gradual wean process with that one) so taht he goes calm with the dummy (but with eyes closed) but falls asleep without it.

Debo - unfortunately my LO only sleeps 30mins in a stroller or car seat, i dont know why this is, i have taken him for one hour walks before and still he only sleeps 30mins in it..

*sigh* ive got no time for my self lately, i was up at 3am this morning (after he woke up and stayed awake for one hour until i fed him again) cleaning bottles cos i ran out as i had no time yesterday to actually do them as i was trying to get him to sleep.

Oh i love him so much and hes so happy when he wakes up (even after 45 mins) but he wont go back for another 45 min sleep before the next feed so i end up feeding him at his normal time and hes soooo tired that he goes to sleep then, creating a bad habit of feeding before sleep

[debo620]

well at his age, how far apart are the feeds?==are you trying for a 4hr easy..

this will sound terrible, but at that age with my oldest, it was literally 40min sleep, 40min of pupd, followed by 40min of sleep--thast how we transitioned to a 4hr EASY.

[JBsMommy]

BIG HUGS!!! I am sorry you are having such a rough time! I was actually in the exact same situation you are in with my DD!
I think I read another post from you that said your DS generally sleeps well at night? Is that right? (I might be getting confused with another post I read) But if that is the case, my LO was the same way. She RARELY took naps over 45 min, yet she managed to go to bed without a fuss (most of the time) and STTN consistantly at 4 months old. I also felt like all I ever did was try to get her to sleep during the day and it was SOOO draining, so I really do feel for you. I finally did quit fighting her over day time sleep. I would try to fit in as many 45 min naps as I could. If she refused to go to sleep, I would take her out of the room for maybe 10 - 15 minutes (keeping activities low-key to try to avoid OS) and try again. Some times she would take a longer nap, but they were rare. I could never find a pattern with her and it really stressed me out. BUT I finally just had to make myself relax. I decided that as long as she was sleeping great at night, I wasn't going to stress over her few short daytime naps. She is 13 months old now and still isn't a great napper, but still sleeps great at night, so I can't complain.
If your DS isn't sleeping so well at night, then it is really important to try and get him to nap. I think at 3 months old, I always did a nap in the stroller. She would fall asleep anytime she was in there, so I took her for a walk everyday. It helped me relax and enjoy some quiet time while she napped. Even if the nap is 30 min, HEY, that's 30 minutes! 
Also, I remember reading from a post when I was getting help for short naps that LOs sort out their nighttime sleep between 0-3 months and their daytime sleep between 3-6 months. Your son is still learning about sleep, so just give it some time and try not to stress. ( I know, easier said than done.  )
Well, I hope something I said offered you a little hope. Don't give up! More HUGS!

[Abbyssleepymommy]

HUGS, BIG HUGS. I have several clients whose babies only sleep about 45 minutes. I know the whole thing about them b/c OT but maybe this is all he needs for now. It seems to me like you are trying to tackle too many things at once. You are working on moving to a 4 hr easy and getting rid of paci? Maybe just focus on one or the other. The thing about the paci is that you can deffinitely get rid of it later. maybe just look at the EASY part. Also are you doing solids yet? I am new so I don't know from previous posts if you breast or bottle feed. But I am just wondering if that could be part of the trouble. I deffinitely don't advocate the idea of feeding them to sleep longer but I just wonder if this is part of his trouble.?. Another thing I thought of is to let it be encouraging that he does wake up happy. I always thought if they wake up cranky, they probably didn't get enough sleep and need more. I honestly don't remember if that is BW or another sleep theory but it makes some amount of sense. As long as you don't think he is overstimulates, maybe he just requires less sleep. I see some babies sleep 12 hours at night with 2 long naps at his age and others sleep about 10 with 1 long and 1 short nap. Just remember that even though you are trying, he didn't read the books and he will have his was of doing things.Keep at EASY and hopefully he will adapt. Just hang in there!!! It gets better. Oh and make sure you get 15 minutes per day to yourself, even if it is locking yourself in the bathroom with a good book. Your husband should be totally willing to do this since he is so worried about your stress.
Oh, one more thing, someone once told me that they never wanted to leave their LO. They had an option to go out with girlfriends and weren't sure if they should. Well they went, and when they came home, they fell more madly in love w/their LO and were more refreshed to be the best mom! :O) I know it rings true for me too.

[~*Nicole*~]

I was going to say something about doing too many things at once too. If it helps keep your sanity, leave the paci and let him fall asleep with it until he's sleeping longer and better. DD still needs her paci to sleep, but doesn't use it the rest of the day. In an effort to keep your sanity. Rather than trying to do the 3 to 4 switch, break the patting the bed and the paci and extend naps, I'd work on 1 thing. If you need him to catch up on sleep so that he will be able to sleep better while you work with him on longer naps or whatever 1 thing you decide, try doing really short A times, feeding as often as he wants so he will have a full belly when  you try to do naps, and see if you can get him all caught up on sleep before beginning to tackle anything.

[*Jo*]

i was wondering about tackling too many things at once. The thing with the paci is that im constantly replugging so its driving me insane and he isnt catching up on his nap with it anyway. Hes just woken up again after 45 mins again. he has another three hours till he is due for his next feed and he wont go back to sleep. He is so tired he is pale and his eyes are red rimmed, he looks so washed out and shattered but i cant get him to sleep.
Also he wants to sleep with his hands out as he gets frustrated with the swaddle and cries BUT he cant control his hands when he is tired, When he is up and awake he can control them fine and sucks on his fingers but when he wants to suck his fingers when hes tired he just cries and screws up his face like he doesnt like the taste of them or something and so he doesnt keep them in his mouth, but he knocks the dummy out with them instead.

Yes to the good night sleeping, he usually is fantastic, however lately its been getting not so good and i think its going to continue to spiral out of control. If i do feed him through the night he usually doesnt take his first morning feed (no matter how many hours apart they are) and so then he wants to feed just before naptime cos by then he is hungry. and the last few nights its taken me an hour or so to get him back to sleep. also DH gets up for work at 4.30am so im very aware of keeping him awake as i need him to be refreshed so that he can support me. I feel like I cant win

[Abbyssleepymommy]

Something else, do you think maybe he is teething? That could disrupt his sleep too b/c when they lie down, the pain can radiate to their ears. I once had a doctor tell me teething doesn't hurt but she sure didn't spend much time with my LO. Abby got to the point that if she saw the tylenol, she would settle down b/c she knew relief was coming. If you notice him chewing on his hands, or anything he can get to his mouth and drooling more that may be part of the issue. They can start the teething process actually as early as 2 months and it can be another 6-8 months before the first tooth breaks. You could try tylenol or teething tablets. Check with you doctor to see of they have a preference. Most will tell you not to use the orajel type stuff at this age b/c the pain is deeper and it does not reach where it hurts. Just a thought...

[*Jo*]

he was teething two weeks ago, he had major drool, red cheeks, chewing on anything in site, he was in quite alot of pain and i was giving him paracetamol to help him but it seems to have cleared up, no drooling or red cheeks, no chewing etc.

However we are having issues with wind, while we were on holiday two weeks ago i forgot his reflux meds and ran out of his special formula so had to buy some regular formula. He brings up wind at least 8 times after a feed and EVERY time i pick him up he burps, even if its been hours after his feed. I talked to my pediatrician and he said we just need to push through it as his body readjusts back to his formula.... how long this will take i dont know

[*Jo*]

ok after DH spending 2 hours patting in the cot and he would fall asleep then wake up after 10 mins over and over (DH never stopped patting, such patience!!) we have now got him up, he still has another hour till feed time. Ive decided to take a car ride to get him to sleep, even if it is only for 30mins. I have a major headache. I gave him paracetamol an hour ago to help his tummy and that didnt work. Im so grumpy, im not much fun to be around at the moment. Ive already cried twice today and am holding off round three of tears.

I know i should not stress and if it was just one or two days where this was happening i wouldnt worry but this has been going on for a few weeks now.

I have a mobile that i could hang over his bed and play a tune, would that help or does that just keep babies awake?? I never put it up cos i thought it would stop him from sleeping.

Its crazy, hes up now and all smiles and happy, such a sweet baby, what is going on!

[CLJK]

I know that each day is dreadfully long when your LO is not sleeping and all you do is try to get them to sleep, but just understand that everything right now is a phase.  Keep up with the things you can manage and forget the rest.  My DD is 6.5 months and still quirky on naps, so I try my best to get her one solid nap a day and really focus on that (for her it's the morning nap - that's a sure thing) and then if the other naps don't go as well, at least she had her one good one.  IT WILL WORK OUT!  I have two older sons and we stayed the course as much as we could and it paid off in dividends:  consistent naps, consistent bedtimes, STTN, no midnight visits, never in our bed, etc.  I know this doesn't make it any easier on you right now, but take it day by day and pick your battles (incidentally, my DD wakes up at 30 minutes on the dot with stroller/car naps, too!).  Once your DS is rolling over, he likely will pick a comfy position and start to sleep longer.  IT WILL GET BETTER!!  Otherwise, none of us would ever have more kids!  Hugs and good thoughts coming your way . . . .!!!

[~Alexa~]

Hugs hun!! I've been there! Trust me! I used to cry over my lo's cot while I did shpat! I then went out of the room and screamed like a crazy woman! I yelled at the dog and at my DH! I couldn't handle it! Then, I realized I had PPD, so that didn't mix well with short naps and bad EASY routine! Hang in there, hun! It does get better.  Trust me, once they are 6 mo, it's like heaven! You get your freedom back!

What med does he take for the reflux? What dosage? How much does your lo weigh?

If your lo is happy after those short naps, then you may have a short napper on your hands!