just can't get it right - part 3!

[hjrmom01]

Good morning!

Toni, so sorry to hear about your bad week    Do you think you need to start limiting your naps???  I hope you get things figured out.  This is so frustrating, isn't it?!

Liz, sorry you and J had a rough night.  Any sign of more teeth coming?  I hope you gets some answers next week with your GI appt.

Martina, how'd your night go?  That's really good that Tristan was such a trooper yesterday!  I don't think H would be on that good of behavior...especially if I forgot a feed!

We had an ok night.  Went down at 7:30 pretty easily (last nap was only 1 hr and 10 min but I rocked H back down for another 20 min or so because I knew he was still tired....so got him up at 4:35) and DH said H called out a few times but resettled on his own.  I was on call last night for the ambulance and I had 2 calls back to back so I was gone from 8:30 until after 12:30am    I woke up about 6:10 and H was awake but quiet.  Rolled around for a few and then looked like he was going to go back to sleep because he was so still at 6:25...10 min later crying    I ended up going in after 10 min and just standing next to the crib.  He would burry his face in his lovey and cry and then stop then start.  I just can't get it right! (how appropriate....the name of the thread!  )  Of course, we're going to have a messed up first nap because of his GI appt.  I don't want to put him down early and reinforce the EW but if I push too long he'll get OT AND have a short nap.  I just can't win!!!!

[~inbalance~]

Hi all!

Sorry about your night Liz     Teeth, reflux, maybe both?  It's so frustrating when you just don't know.  I'm going to try WIWO.  Usually Tristan gets really worked up, so I don't know how it will go.  So you're saying you don't go to the crib (i.e. he can't see you?), but just walking, say your phrase and walk out?  Hmmmm, anything's worth a shot!

Alyssa, sorry about the early start.  I would probably put H down before your appointment (if you think he will need the nap) to avoit OT and not worry about whether or not it affects EWs.  You don't want to end up extremely OT (like us!), because it's so much harder to remedy if it gets out of control.  I hope the appointment goes well!

Our night was pretty normal for us.  Tristan woke at 3:30 (on the dot, again!), then actually slept to 6:30 today for a change.  So a little better.  I heard him once at 2:15, he cried out and I thought I'd have to get up and feed him then, but he went back to sleep (actually I think he probably cried in his sleep).  So we're off to a pretty good start.  Thank goodness I don't have to go out today, I can work on naps!

[*Liz*]

No - what I do is go to the crib and check him (make sure he hasn't thrown up everywhere really  ) and give him is lovey back, say a key phrase 'its still sleepy time sweetheart', stroke his head once and walk out. But as soon as I see him I know it is the right thing to do as he is usually screaming with his eyes half shut and thrashing his head from side to side (he self soothes by rubbing his head on the mattress). Then I walk straight out and shut the door. His screaming always escalates as I walk out but then I shut the door and wait. Usually he switches to mantra and then goes into a stop/start thing. If he howls I go back, give him back the lovey, repeat phrase and walk out. What I mean is there is no way he will settle with me standing by the crib. Sure, he will stop crying, but his eyes will 'ping' open and look at me and then he HAS to get up. Thats why PU/PD doesn't work for me, or shh/ptt. Jacob gets really worked up if I am there but settles very quickly with WI/WO so I do think it is worth a shot. Might take a few attempts before he gets what you are doing though.

His naps are fine again today so far, and we are having the usual battle with food.

Fingers crossed the GI appointment is worth busting a nap for Alyssa!! Sounds as though things are a little better with a bit more daytime sleep though. J is waking between 6 and 6.30am no matter what I do, but the 5am wake-ups have gone for the moment so I'm thinking that they were OT at bedtime. I guess he might be a bit on the UT side now, but I'm not sure I can be bothered to keep messing around with the naps to make a minor change. I might roll with this for now. Trying to pick my battles  .

[hjrmom01]

I ended up letting H go down for nap 1 at 9:50....an absolute BEAR this am.  Took a decent am bottle, though...5 oz!  That's the most in a LONG time.  But then didn't touch breakfast and basically whined, cried, fussed and screamed from then until bed!  I packed H up and went for a walk to help calm things down.  I figure we have to be out the door about 11:20 (ok, if H is still sleeping that's what time I'll get him up!) so that'll be a 1.5 hr nap.  We'll see what the GI dr has to say!

I'm not about to start my day at 6/6:30...that's way to early for me!  I'd really be afraid of EW then!!!  I just have to figure out the right A time before bed I think.  If I could get H to sleep until 7 then I know we'd have the day worked out but by the time 9:30/10 rolls around H is shattered from being up at 6/6:30.  Ohhhhhh, some day maybe we'll have things sorted out!

Anywho...I think I'm going to sit back and rest my eyes for a few minutes since I hardly slept last night.  Oh, and on a positive note (I guess you can call it that...) I spoke with my manager last night at work (while I was dropping off a patient) and he asked me what I was looking for in a position and I told him part time 32-48 hours, not 12 hour shifts, and something that would work around DH's schedule so we didn't have to worry about daycare at night. He told me to e-mail him DH's schedule and they'll work on coming up with something!  So, I may get a position at work that actually WORKS with our schedule!  Sucks that it's still nights but I wouldn't be working 12 hours (8 or 10...probably 11p-7a) and I wouldn't have to find day care!

[*Liz*]

There is no way I am starting my day at 6am either - but 6.30am I could just about live with. So what I'm doing is leave in cot until 6.30am, then into bed with mummy to cuddle (or attempt to bite ), but still doing bottle at 7am. I haven't given up hope yet!!

Hey, I'm trying to compromise with an irrational baby 

I think the 6.30am will turn into 7am when they get a bit older and can do a 12 hr night again. Isn't part of this developmental?(again!!)

But YEY about the job situation. That is REALLY REALLY good news.

[Isabellasmummy]

afternoon, i've popped inside to catch up.. the weather here is gorgeous which makes a change from the rain and i'm actally wearing a vest top... wooohooo so nice to not wear jumpers  

Martina- is T waking up at the exact same time each day, maybe you could try the wake to sleep trick. I was usless at that I woke her up every time on creaky floor boards  

Alyssa, that's good news about the possible job, so if you work at night and would finish at 7am and the your dh goes to work when do YOU sleep?
How did it go at the GI?

I decided not to go to my appeal at work didn't see the point, so Dh has offered me a job at his company - which isn't ideal working with him as I will want to kill him but it's money and he said I can do what ever days, hours i want. So can't refuse really! plus i Miss work

Today has been good, she has been very touchy at times but i think she is very tired.

woke 8.20

NAP 1 AT 11.30 for 1hr 30 mins
NAP 2 AT  15.10 at the 40 min mark so lets see.

I have left a hairdyer on upstairs to drown out the building work noise going on next door, I would take her for a walk but so hot and she need over an hour and would probably wake after 40 mins in the pram.

No idea what time to put her  to bed though or what time to wake her up?

I never thought have a baby would this this hard, not the actual day to day stuff but the sleep- naps and all the worry that goes with those 2 things.

Friends always telling there child is "perfect" and sleeps 7pm-7.30am and has done from 6 weeks makes my blood boil... why her! what am I doing wrong?
Another friend who has the same problem as me said that her boy is 2yrs and still does it and now gets out of bed and goes to her room about 15 times a night!!!!

I am hoping by some miracle that she suddenly snaps out of it and all goes to plan.

[~inbalance~]

Woo hoo!  Actually got a decent nap this morning!  1.5hrs (I think - that's when he woke me but he could have been awake a bit before then, but he was happy so who cares!)  His cues are almost impossible as he seems tired all the time.  I tried putting him down first after only 2hrs 45mins but he just kept popping up, so I took him out and we played quietly for 10mins or so, then did another short wind down, tried again and he went down easily. 

Toni, glad you had a good nap this morning too!  I hope the afternoon one goes well.  Hey, a job is a job right?  I worked at DH's company last year when I was pregnant, and it was great!  A little weird sometimes, as he is so 'serious' around me and whatnot, but we didn't get on eachother's nerves or anything.  About wake to sleep, it scares the crap out of me!!  Tristan is so sensitive to waking up, I won't go near him when he's sleeping!  He has been waking at the same time to feed for the last week or so, but tonight I think we're going cold turkey with the night feeds, so that's about to change anyway.   

Alyssa, hooray for the job!  I hope that works out well for you!  Good luck at the GI's today, we'll be thinking about you!

Liz, thanks for your help with WIWO.  I didn't need to try it today though!  But I am going to try it, actually it will probably help when we quit night feeds.  I've read up on it in the FAQs, but it's always better to hear it from someone who's done it successfully, iykwim?  I hope your feeds get better today.

I agree here, 6am is waaayyy too early to start the day!  These days though, I'm happy with 6:30.  Although I'm slow to get moving at that time.  Usually DH is getting up then, so he brings Tristan to me and I feed him or let him play on the bed while I try to wake up.  He just ends up trying to put his fingers in my nose or mouth, or pull my hair though.   

[~inbalance~]

AAARRRGGGHHH!!!     Took me like 45mins to get Tristan down for his nap this afternoon!

After this morning's good nap I was aiming for somewhere between 3-3.5hrs A, but I was going to keep an eye on him to see when to put him down (not that it matters, the kid starts showing 'tired' cues after like 2.5hrs, but if I try to put him down then there's no way he'll sleep!).  I started wind down after 3hrs 15mins, went to put him down and he was crawling around and climbing the walls of the crib (seriously, trying to climb out!).  So I thought, ok, he needs more wind down time.  Took him out (like this morning), but he just wanted to crawl, and play, and get into trouble.  But at the same time was rubbing his eyes and looking tired.  I tried to put him down again, and he just kept sitting up and crying.  I tried WIWO, but every time I went back in he was sitting up.  At one point I thought he was losing steam, was mantra'ing and was going to go to sleep.  But then I hear him bump his head on the crib and it started all over again.     Bloody bumpers don't do ANYTHING!  Finally I went in and picked him up.  He wailed, and screamed.  He had been up by 4hrs at this point, so I knew he was tired (OT if you will).  I ended up just holding him and rocking him until he calmed down, then was able to put him down and he went to sleep.  My lord!  I thought when he got mobile he'd start sleeping BETTER!  It's so hard to tell with him, he may have been ready sooner than 3hrs A and I missed it, but my mom was here spending time with him so we were a tad behind.  But still, he was hyperactive (I know this is common when they're tired).  Ay yi yi this kid's gonna run me ragged!   

Thought I got a bit of a break this morning, but apparently that's all the break I get!!   

[*Liz*]

Oh goodness Martina - why on earth did he do that to you??!! You are frightening me about this mobility thing.

I think this will settle a bit soon - he just doesn't seem to know when to pack it in and GO TO SLEEP. Its kind of like when they find their hands and feel the need to spend 30 mins sucking and waving them before nodding off. God, those days were NOT fun.

You are going to kill me......

But Jacob appears to have turned into a daytime doormouse. Apparently there is nothing he would rather do than sleep this week. Its so odd - he has NEVER been like this. My nights are still a bit rubbish though  . Today I even did some gardening.

So today he slept from 9.35 - 11.00 (I woke him) and then from 14.15 - 16.15 (again I woke him) and he still only lasted 3h 15 to sleep. Tired signs left, right and centre. I don't know - if I get an EW today then I will know he is telling porkies with these tired signs.

I'm wondering if the bad nights are reflux as he is only on his med once a day?

Good news about the job Toni. I worked with DH at one point. We got engaged at the same time - most people in the department didn't even know we were an item and thought we had got enganged on the same day to different people. Very amusing. Kan is soooooo serious at work though. I remember him trying to teach me to do stitches - and he was suturing this drunk lad whilst I watched. The lad was cracking jokes and DH was just poker faced. I ended up sniggering in the corner, and the drunk lad was like 'he's a bloody comedian, this one'. DH didn't even hear him.

[hjrmom01]

Quick update since I have to get supper started.  GI appt went well.  Back on Prevacid 2x a day!    Dr wants H to have no less than 25 oz a day  How am I going to do that    Doesn't like the fact that he's not taking purees, only table foods...think it's reflux related.  Wants to watch his weight since he's borderline now but can drop fast if he keeps refusing (we think he may have lost a little).  No pH probe for now...will wait and see if he's still needing a high dose Prevacid after he's been upright walking for a while.  um.....after a few months if things are going ok we can try to wean off Nutramigen to a regular-ish formula!  Yay, no more super $$$$ formula!!!  H did really well with the appt. They were running SO far behind.  We didn't even go back to the room until 12:45 (our appt was 11:45!).  Saw the dr about 1, out at 1:30.  H fell asleep in the car for 10 min on the way home.  Didn't get a second bottle until 1p and took almost 6 oz...then had another 4 before nap at 3!!!  I APOP a nap from 3:20-4:25 (had to wake him) because I knew he wasn't going to go down on time because of the 10 min nap.  So, hopefully we're still on target for a 7:30 bedtime. 

Gotta go make some supper.  Martina, sorry about your bad afternoon  I agree, bumpers are useless!!!

[~inbalance~]

Yes Liz, I am jealous of your naps.    But at least our nights aren't too bad (yet - they're about to get bad now that I won't be feeding him!), just those bloody naps.  I don't know what's going on with him these days.  Just keep telling myself to ride it out.  I really hope that the novelty of crawling & sitting wears off and he decides sleep is a good thing.  

Well, he only slept 35mins.  Woke up screaming, so I tried WIWO again for 15mins.  Of course every time I went in he was sitting or on his hands & knees peering through the gap where he can see the door.  After 15mins I gave up, he was just sitting there wailing.  So I fed him and got him up.  Since then he's been happy, cranky, happy, cranky.  He's happy to be up, but he's been touchy and I know he's still tired.  Sigh, early bedtime tonight (I hate that!)

[*Liz*]

Sounds like a good appointment really - and quite sensible about the pH probe.

I don't understand the puree thing though - I thought lots of reflux babies do better with 'real' solids as they don't like taking in more liquid. Perhaps its because it takes then quite a long time to take very much of table foods and the solids in the tummy will help the reflux to settle? I mean if you boil and puree a whole pear there is next to nothing when you have finished so maybe they get more that way?

Maybe I'll find out at my dietican/ feeding team appointment on monday.

Not looking forward to that TBH. I have to take his milk, and cup, and food for him to eat in front of them. I know what he will do already. Throw the finger food on the floor for fun, clamp his mouth and turn his head to the spoon, sip water to blow out his mouth (new trick) and push the bottle away with both hands  . Then throw himself backwards off my lap, arch his back and scream if I offer it again.

[hjrmom01]

Wow Liz, your mealtimes sound like ours!!!  I don't know why our GI dr is all about the purees and not the finger foods    Can't wait to hear what your feeding team has to say. 

Martina, sorry about your naps    Don't you wish you could tell Tristan how good it is to sleep?!  Hope the novelty of crawling and sitting wears off soon for you.  I'm not looking forward to H sitting up in the crib and wailing for me  Or when they learn to stand...but can't sit back down.  Oh, the joys of development!!!

I think I'm going to try to get to bed early. Anticipating an EW tomorrow. Having a heck of a time with bedtime.  H just seems to be exhausted by 7pm when we start feeding so I'm guessing OT by 7:30?  But I'm afraid of doing an early bedtime for a worse EW or H being UT.....oh sigh......

[~inbalance~]

In cooking class the nutritionist put a lot more emphasis on purees too - I think in the end your baby gets a lot more nutrition from purees.  Not that finger foods are bad, we make them in class, but you can't always get them to eat a lot of quantity that way.  I think it's good to have a mix of both.  What are your strategies for feeding purees?  I actually find Tristan is more patient and eats more if I distract him with something.  I used to keep stuff away from him, and he would just get impatient waiting for the food which would lead to crankiness and spoon refusal.  Now I give him something much coveted (utensil, cup, childproof vitamin bottle, coaster...whatever works!) and as he's inspecting it up and down I just shovel food in.  When he's distracted he doesn't think, just keeps opening his mouth.  He'll usually finish all or most of the puree this way, but if he doesn't then I leave it and put a whole array of finger foods down for him, fruits, veg, rice cakes, puffs, cheerios, toast (usually one or two kinds, maybe three) and he goes at that for awhile (actually, he eats a lot this way, and does better with things he can pick up with his fingers rather than sticks).  Then I offer water, which he takes, and at that point I can usually get him to eat whatever puree may be left.  Works really well for us!    At least we have eating down pat!  Today I made a bunch more baby food, pureed corn and pureed peas, finger food peas, and pureed chicken.  Yum!

Putting Tristan down was a nightmare too.  I hope this behaviour passes soon.  Alexa made a good point on my nap thread that when they learn to crawl they get tired more easily so I need to shorten his As.  Don't know why I didn't think of that.     We'll keep at it.

[hjrmom01]

I swear I have tried every tactic in the book when it comes to purees.  H always has something to play with when I try, whether it be a spoon, the bowl, food, or whatever.  As soon as the spoon gets to his lips he clamps down and turns his head    I used to be able to put the puree on the spoon and give it to him and he'd feed himself.  Now when I try that he usually flings it backwards and purees go flying against the wall    He'll use a spoon or chew on a fork with chunks of food but put some puree on it and he won't touch it.  Oddly, though, the other day I was able to give him some applesauce (of course as long as HE was doing the feeding!). It wasn't sweetened or anything, just baked apples and pureed but still not liquid like purees.  Of course, he didn't have much in the way of finger foods to eat (we were at MIL's house) so he was probably starving!  I just keep trying everyday but I am not going to force it.  I want food to be a happy experience and not forced, you know?