Putting down a problem and night wakings too

[mrsmynub]

DS#2 is 20 mo - he was sleeping really well, going down for naps and at night....and then int eh last 3 weeks or so, it takes FOREVER for himt o go down.  he screams bloody murder if you leave the room and then because he is so tired, at night he wakes up frequently and is violent in his crib.

He wakes at 6:30AM and goes down for his nap at 11:30 and sleeps until 1:30PM.  We try to put him down at 7PM,but I am thinking that maybe it's too early?  I don't know, but my DH and I can't take much more of it and are scared that once he transitions to a big boy bed next year, that he will stil lbe like this and we will want to chain him to his bed!!

Help, please!!!

[jennandsophie]

Sorry for what you're going through Dana.  Just a thought that maybe he's getting a bit OT by bedtime.  Do you think you can push the nap time a bit to begin closer to 12:30pm?  I"m just thinking 1:30pm until bedtime is quite a long stretch. 

My DD wakes about 6:30am and then naps from 12:30 until 2:30pm and then bed at 7:30.

Best of luck.

[mrsmynub]

Maybe I can do 15 minutes at a time starting today.  I will see if it makes any difference. 

Last night he screamed for an hour and then woke twice in the night - slept until 7 or so, but I'm hoping he will go down okay at naptime.

[jennandsophie]

Ugghh...the NWings are hard to deal with.  HUGS to you.  My DD had major SA when she was about 14 months old to about 17 months.  She would cry and fuss at bedtime and naptime.  I wonder if that may be an issue for your DS?  Have there been any major changes in the house lately?

[mrsmynub]

My dad was here for a couple of days but this has been hapenning for a while.  Maybe allegies and some molar teething?  I don't know. 

He slept from 12:30 until 2:45 today - so I am thinking that we will start the wind-down at 7:15 and hopes that he is asleep by 7:45 giving him 5 hours of awake time.  What do you think?

[mrsmynub]

He is SCREAMING to the point of hysteria right now - has been for 20 minutes with DH in the room.  Did bath and wind down routine at 7PM thinking he would be ready to sleep at 7:30 but it's now 7:48 and I am scared that he is going to throw up.

What the f am I doing wrong with this kid?

[mrsmynub]

One hour of screaming, tantrums, kicking before he would go to sleep - and I had to have my hand on him for a good 20 minutes of him falling asleep - I would take it away and he would start screaming again. He slept until 4:30AM and I went in and laid down on his floor and he fell asleep until 7:30AM.  BUT, he then LOST it with screaming again at around 11AM, so I rocked him and calmed him down and put him in his crib - it took me 30 minutes to get him to sleep.

I am totally lost -he is getting worse every time he has to sleep.

Someone please help.

[jennandsophie]

HUGS Dana.  I'm so sorry...I wish I could help more, but things never got as bad as that with DD.  She'd resist and cry but eventually she would give in and fall asleep, usually within 45 mins.

Have you tried WI/WO?  I think PU/PD doesn't work at this age, but many have tried WI/WO successfully for toddlers.  You have to be really persistent and not give in.

As for your routine with 5hrs A time before bed, it sounds great to me.  We've been doing that for ages and it's been good for our DD.  It does take a while before your DS will get used to it, so stick with it.

[jenniferr]

Hi Dana.
I wished I had seen your post before I posted yesterday. We are going through the exact same thing with 23 year old DD. We as well have 5 hours A time before nap and bedtime. We have recently temporarily relocated so I assume that the extreme SA DD is experiencing is partially attributable to that. I got in the nasty habit of sleeping in her bed with her and was not getting any sleep myself, so am now trying to break the habit. I have been doing a combination of gradual withdrawl (now just sit in chair in her room) and WI/WO. Last night getting her to bed took nearly 2 hours of screaming (sometimes she screams so hard she makes herself throw up), but the worst is trying to resettle her from her NWs. I held out until 3AM and then ended up in bed with her as well. She has always been an independent sleeper so this has been very trying for me! Let me know if you find anything that works! I'm thinking this is just a phase and am trying to do the least amount of AP while it lasts!

Jenn

[mrsmynub]

Jenn- my goodness, I feel for you.

WI/WO just makes my DS worse, so I am trying to hold him for a bit, put him in his crib and just stay in his room.  Last night was an hour before he went to sleep, but no screaming and no NW.  today for nap, he went down after 20 minutes and is going on a 2 hour nap.

But, I don't want this to become a habit - I think in your case it's definitely situational and hopefully will resolve itself soon.

Yikes - too bad we can't meet for drinks while DH's take care of the kids!!

Good luck and let's see how we're both doing.....

[jennandsophie]

Dana, I do think that's a bit of progress.  1 hr is not that bad, with no screaming or NWings.  Fingers crossed for you that it'll get better from here.

Jenn, HUGS for what you're going through too.  They are so sensitive to any little change at this age, aren't they?  Your WI/WO method sounds good though.