Please help with EASY routine

[Vally]

Hi

I am new to this site and to EASY. It is really great to be able to get some help.

My son is 3 months old and his routine looks roughly like this.

6am wakes - small grumbles so put in his pacifier and usually goes off until 6.45am
6.45am nappy change
7am - 6oz bottle (will sometimes just take 50z)
7.30am to 8am Activity
8am - 8.45am Nap
8.45 - 9.30 Activity
 9.30 to 10am Nap
10 to 10.30 Activity
1030 6oz
Activity to 12
12 to 12.30 nap
Activity to 2
2pm 6oz
Activity to 3.30pm
3,30 to 4pm nap
4-4.45 Activity
5pm 5oz bottle
6.30pm bathtime with dad
6.45pm top up usually 3oz
Bed 7pm

He usually goes to sleep fine at 7pm. He has on two occasions slept right through until 6am but the majroty of the time he wakes at 2am and 5.30am.

My questions:
Should I still be feeding him when he wakes at 2am or could I use his pacifier?

I try and put off his first feed of the day until 7am using his pacifer and some activity such as nappy change, is this ok?

I can not get him to nap longer than 30 -45 mins. Sometimes he wakes up and is happy and doesn't seem bothered, othertimes I am convinced he wants more and sometimes using his pacifier can extend for 15 mins or so. What can I do to extend his nap times?

I am not sure whether I should be doing feeding 3 hourly, 3.5 or 4?

Should I feed at specific times or wait for hunger cues?


I would really love some help please as I am so confused.

Thanks

[anna*]

Hi there and welcome to the BW boards!   

I think he's getting a bit overtired as the day goes on because the first nap of the day is so short. Does he go to sleep independently? Have you tried shush-pat for extending his naps? Is he swaddled? A good tight swaddle can really help. We're really hoping for long naps (1.5hrs plus), so you could aim for a routine something like this:

6.45am E/A
8am, S, try to extend nap with shush-pat if he wakes in less than 1.5hrs
9.30am E/A
11am S, extend as above
12.30pm E/A
2pm S, extend as above
3.30pm E/A
5pm S, 45 mins catnap
5.45pm E/A
bath/bed routine
6.30pm asleep
10.30pm dreamfeed

Remember, if his naps are less than 1.5hrs you will need to make the next A time much shorter. That might mean he needs extra naps in the day.

[Vally]

Thanks for the quick reply. Yes I guess he must be getting overtired in the day with such short naps. The shh pat doesn't really work. He sometimes goes down on his own, other times I use his pacifier, is this wrong? Sometimes I use his pacifier to get him to sleep longer but will only often extend for 10 minutes. Often he seems happy and wide awake as if enough. If he finishes his 1st nap after 45 mins say at 9.30am when should I make his next nap as he would be due a feed at 11ish as I am working on 3.5 hours. Should I try and get him to take another nap before his next feed? When you say cut down on A time, by how much?

Should I be trying to not use his pacifier for naps?

How do I know whether to be on 3.5 or 4 hour routine?

[anna*]

When you say he goes down on his own with a pacifier, does this mean you can just lay him in his crib with his pacifier and he will go to sleep on his own? Do you have to rock or cuddle him to sleep? Is he swaddled?

Basically, a 3-hour routine is recommended until they're around 4 months old, at which case you start to transition to 4 hours. There's a link about it here: http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63161.0

If he wakes at 9.30 after a 45 mins nap, I'd try to extend using shush-pat (let me know if you want more detail on how to do it correctly), but if he doesn't go back to sleep then I'd feed at 10, then start winding down and get him back down for his next nap asap after that. I would do 1hr or less A time after a short nap.

[Vally]

Yes I will lay him in his crib after tired signs and after just a few minutes of his paci he is asleep. I generally never have to rock him.

This morning he had a bottle at 7.30am and went down for his nap at 8.45am where he awoke at 9.30am. I did manage to extend to 10am but not really convinced he was sleeping. He was very happy when I took him downstairs and stayed happy until 11.15am which is when I fed him. He then fell asleep as soon as he finished his bottle so I put him in his crib (I know he should not be sleeping after feeding but he was zonked). After 45 mins he stirred, I went in and his eyes were closed so I put in his pacifier and after two times he went back off and his total nap time was 1.5 hours which he has never done. His next feed will be due again around 2.30pm 3ish which will be around 1.5 hours after waking so he is just going to end up sleeping again after his feed. Is this ok as his routine is looking more like ESAESA.

[anna*]

You can always feed a little earlier so that there is a little tiny bit of A time before he goes to sleep. May I ask why you waited til 11.15 to feed? That's nearly 4 hours since his last feed and we don't usually go 4 hours between feeds until they are 4 months plus. Yay for the long nap!!!

[Vally]

I guess that is one error that I have made by waiting four hours. I thought that part of this routine was also about looking for hunger cues. So is should I be feeding at exactly 3 hours each day even if he does not show that he is hungry? In that case should I feed at 7, 10, 1, 4 and 7 and should I be doing his bath after his 7pm bottle? If I was to cluster feed at what times would I do this and when would the bath time fit in?
Last night we went to some friends and took him with us. We did his bath and gave him his last bottle at 6.30pm as he was getting so tired I thought if I left any longer he would be too tired to eat. He then fell asleep by 6.45am so we put him to sleep in his carry cot before we left to go out. He then woke at 7.30pm and when we arrived at our friends he was wide awake but very happy so we kept him up till 8.30pm gave him a few more ounces then put him to bed. He slept until 6am which is great. Do you think that this was because he had an extra feed? I don't really want to make his bed times later as he is mostly crashed out for the night by 7am. I have tried a dreamfeed and he just won't take it and I am not sure about waking him. Please could you help advise me on how I should be structuring his bedtime routine and feeds. I know he can go through the night without a dreamdfeed as he has done this on a number of occasions.
Thanks

[anna*]

(((((hugs)))))) it's not a mistake to let a baby sleep   

In the books though Tracy says to wake them to feed - if they feed regularly all those good calories can help to make the nights better, and also because if they sleep tooooo long in the daytime it can rob from the night sleep too.

So yes, you'd feed at 7, 10, 1, 4, and then the evening routine would be to probably give half of his feed before his bath, and then finish off the feed right before bed. I wouldn't start cluster feeding at this stage, as we'd normally stop cluster and switch to DF at around 6-8 weeks.

I wouldn't make his bedtime later, 7pm is great. If he's sleeping from 7pm-2am without a dreamfeed, that is really spectacular. The hope from doing a dreamfeed is that he might not then wake up at 2am, but if you're happy to feed at 2, that's fine. You can always try it again at a later date. At 3 months, I'd definitely feed at that waking - especially as you're not doing the dreamfeed.

I hope this helps? It sounds like you're doing great.

[Vally]

Thanks for you encouragement, it really helps.

He does not seem hungry feeding him every 3 hours and does not finish a 6oz bottle. Should I move to 3.5 hourly and if so would this be ok: Eat at 7, 10.30, 2, 5.30 and then again do a little before and after bath say at 6.30pm and 7pm?

[anna*]

I'm really not sure about bottle feeding as my LO is breastfed. Do you fancy putting a question up on the bottlefeeding board and see what advice you can get on that there? At about 4 months they will move to 4 hourly feeds so I expect it would be OK but wouldn't want to give any advice myself on bottle feeding.

How is he sleeping?

[Vally]

Thanks Anna. I will post on bottle feeding.

He is sleeping well at night, usually waking at 3am for a feed.

He is still taking 45 minute naps although at lunchtime if I have the time he will sleep on me for 2 hours but I really shouldn't do this all the time as he won't then sleep on his own.

[anna*]

When he wakes up is he happy and ready to play? I'm wondering if he could do with just a touch more awake time, most at 3 months can manage 1hr 20-30mins, so you could try giving him 5 more mins awake and see if that helps.

[Vally]

Yes after his 45 nap in the morning he is really happy when he wakes and if I try and get him to sleep more he will just smile away in his cot. I usually put him down as soon as I see his first yawn, usually 1.5 hour after being awake, should I then wait until he gets grizzly before putting him down?

[anna*]

No, I wouldn't wait until he's actually crying, but maybe try just 5 mins and see if that helps. 45 mins and waking happy could indicate that he's a bit undertired. You don't want to increase too much, too quickly, so take it slow and see what happens.

[Vally]

Great, I will give that a go. I think sometimes I am too keen to get him down after his first yawn so I don't think waiting an extra 5/10 minutes will do any harm. I will keep you posted.