Thanks ladies, I was wondering if the diagnosis had enough symptoms to go on, but tbh I would try pretty much anything at this point and although it is a little inconvenient (if it isn't the problem) I am thankful he hasn't needed invasive tests or anything and I think we will get the hang of dairy/soy free (esp with all those wonderful recepies)!!
The last two nights after he has had his formula he has vomited...and proper adult type vomiting, not spill..He is on an elemental formula now...(smells gross, I'm so proud of him for taking it)...but I think the problem may have been dinner. He absolutely goes crazy about dinner, eats really fast. We had mince meatball type things, I suspect that there is a bit much onion in them for him (coupled with the fast eating) which caused him to chuck, but we will see in the next couple of days!
We are still up with him at least once a night. Couldn't get him down last night, he was really tired but just couldn't sleep so in the end I got him back up and let him zoom around the floor for a while (he farted a lot) then put him to bed with the dummy (which we rarely have to do) a bit before 9pm...he went down then woke at 11:30pm crying and refluxing (I think that was an OT thing too). I held him for about an hour then put him down (once he stopped jolting around and crying) and he slept till 6:30am.
We shall see...I suspect we are going through the 2 to 1 transition too because his naps are a bit strange at the moment (not that they have ever been great because of the reflux)...I just SO hope this is the answer. I go through stages where I think I MUST BE CRAZY, it's not him at all, it's me! But the crying is real, the funny noise in his throat is real, the waking several times a night is real and all the wind is real....so I guess we just have a more complicated case than anyone initially thought. I had hoped he would be showing signs of getting better by now, but he isn't. I am so thankful that we have a paediatrician who listens

In the early days when I asked about his excessive wind, the paed told me to feed him more upright and he would be fine....I guess it's taken us all a while to realise that there was a lot more than that going on!
Thanks again ladies, it's a wait and see game I guess

but then we have been waiting and seeing for a LONG time now, so a few more weeks won't break us

Hugs
Lizzie