Tossing and turning for hours at night without sleeping - please help....

[LizzieN]

Hey beautiful,
Glad you're heading back to the doc soon, you must keep us updated as to what he says!!!!

Big big big huge hugs
xxLizzie

[babybarr]

Hi, any thoughts much appreciated.....after deciding to stick to trying just one nap, Sat he slept an hour and during the night was awake for 2hrs, Sun we were at ILs and so he had a 20min nap on way there and 35mins on way back which was around 4 so wouldn't settle to sleep for 45mins, however appeared to sleep till 6.15.  Yesterday I decided to go for one nap again and it was 45mins and we had 2 hrs up again in the night.    TBH I am literally losing it now.  I don't see the point in trying to spend all day every day trying to get him to nap but he's clearly OT so what do I do?  This morning he was practicall falling asleep over breakfast so I thought I'd put him down 15 mins later he just wanted to get up again I can't win

I'm really fed up with having a cranky baby who clearly needs to sleep but won't.

Thanks for the support girls, not sure how much use paed will be on Fri as it's mainly to discuss his blood condition and he often doesn't have a lot of time

[LizzieN]

Sweetie,
MAKE HIM GIVE YOU TIME - that is what you pay them for, seriously!!! Something is NOT RIGHT and you NEED their help.  Go in there and tell the paediatrician what you have just told us, tell him that your baby is beyond tired and you are not coping anymore......I'm serious lovely!  Your paediatricians job is to manage Olivers health, to intervene when it is required and to support you in your job caring for your lovely little man....Do not leave there without help!  You are Olivers voice right now, so voice your concerns and get your paed to have a think about what might be going on!!!

In the mean time sweetie, we are all here for you.  I am SO so sorry that things are so hard at the moment.  I would seriously consider going for a drive just to give your LO a sleep.  I find (and I know that O won't usually take a pacifier) that if I put one in Dyllans mouth when he is asleep in the car, that I can transfer him to bed and he will stay asleep....perhaps you could try a trick like that to extend his sleeps.  Also there is a great bed on the market, a hammock type thing which is supposed to be brilliant for reflux babies as they are really supportive....sometimes you can hire them rather than buying them, perhaps your clinic nurse will have heard of them?  I didn't get one because Dyllan was getting quite old and mobile, but it still may be worth a try as they are low to the ground so Oliver should be safe if you put a mattress underneath it and keep an eye on him.  Apparently their movement will kind of rock them back to sleep.....

If it is any consolation too, Dyllan is a cranky pants at the moment as he has STILL got the cold and is always tired and chucking it at me.  The other night I got home from work and my mum went to hand him over so I could put him to bed and he cracked it at me, wanted to go back to mum....it's moments like those that make you feel like a GREAT mum!!!LOL.

hugs hugs hugs, hot fatty food, coffee and more hugs to you my dear friend
xx Lizzie

[Leia and Sabrina's Mom - Jessica]

Hi hon. How is it going? It sounds like the car puts him to sleep right? Just to get him some what back on track and not SO OT...could you take him in the car for two naps during the day? Just so you are dealing with a much less OT baby?

Just a thought.... what do you think?

[LizzieN]

I agree, any APOP is good when you are dealing with such a tired little one!!!

How are you going Laura?

xxLizzie

[babybarr]

Hi sorry it's been a while went back to work yesterday just to top it all off!

Jessica, he'll only go to sleep in the car if he's really really tired, otherwise we end up driving for an hour or more just to get him to go off!  I have been trying!

The paed appointment today was next to pointless.  There's no change with regard to Oliver's blood condition so all the same things apply - hospital when he's ill basically.  I spoke about the sleep and to cut a very long story short he implied it was behavioural to get attention and to let Oliver cry and NOT to go to him if he just is unsettled.  I told him this has been going on months and I haven't been going in to him anyway and he hasn't been crying but he basically dismissed the whole thing - I felt like punching him!!  However, the health visitor has just called and basically said the sleep clinic people are interested in seeing him and that the general pediatricians are not sleep specialists and to ignore it!

[babybarr]

Sorry got interrupted....

I've told the sleep people that I'll take any cancellation even a few hours notice so hopefully something will come up soon.  They do the first tests at home anyway so that's a bonus.

Paed also said Oliver was on the highest amount of omeprazole and he didn't think it sounded like reflux otherwise he's probably be screaming (I guess a little like Dyllan).  So that looks like a no go either!

I'm really quite struggling at the moment with the constant clinginess and whinging!  I don't know what else to try with the naps , my mum has been really good at the whole put down thing till he goes off but I hate the battle TBH.  Having just one nap at 11 isn't working, I think I'm going to bite the bullet and push it back (I know I should be trying to get him down earlier and then another nap but he's just refusing) I figured if he was only going to sleep 45mins better he does that at 12 say than 11?  I just feel things are at an all time low anyway, I'll keep offering an earlier nap but it hasn't worked for ages now - I've gone back to work as well which probably isn't going to help either!

Sorry to go on and on and on!

Hope your well Lizzie - How's Dyllan doing at the mo?  You got an appointment through yet?

Jessica I saw on your post things are not going well especially for you either?  I know the only thing which help with naps for me last time was sticking rigidly to the same time, I just need to work out what that time should be!

Hugs for you all and doughnuts.....mmmmm!
Laura

[LizzieN]

Hey Laura,

I'm so sorry to read your post, I was really hoping that your paed would realise that you know your LO....gosh I think you were very restrained not getting crabby with him!  If it is any consolation when we had tried the Zantac and I went back to my GP telling her that Dyllan could be up for hours with wind and would scream for hours when I was trying to put him down she told me that she thought it was a "settling issue"...I was mortified and blamed myself for ages....

I hope that you get into the sleep clinic quickly   I went to a sleep session just after the "Zantac incident" and basically they pushed modified controlled crying, but usefully they told me that there was no way I was going to sleep train a baby in pain...useful in one way, not so great in another!  I didn't feel so embarrassed after they said that!

I am so so sorry that things are so bad for you at the moment.  We are booked in for a scope and a pH probe for Dyllan on the 25th September.  I'm in two minds, I want to know that he is ok that there is nothing really anatomically wrong, but I don't want to put him through it incase nothing shows up iykwim?

Dyllan is still recovering from his cold and is still really whingy and tired, had a rough night with him last night, went in about 4-5 times.  Most of the time he was lying down crying, makes me think more gas than reflux last night (because he usually sits bolt upright for the reflux)...but who knows, all I know is my little man was crying out in pain, woke earlier than usual and we are all tired because of it!!  I can't believe he has a cold nearly two weeks later, usually he gets over things so fast...guess it's being run down and teeth too!!

Anyway big big hugs to you lovely, in my experience going back to work didn't really change things much 'cause I knew my DH and my MIL would take wonderful care of DS.  He loves his Daddy and Nanny days.  As long as you know that Oliver is in good hands, he will be ok so don't feel guilty about going back....but big hugs to you too, it's hard when you know you are leaving a LO who isn't right in someone elses care
xxxxxxxLizzie

[babybarr]

Oliver took a 1.5hr nap today!!!  I decided on Saturday enough was enough and when he inevitably woke at 45mins I did put down with him, we didn't have a lot of luck but I did it the second day after he woke after 30mins and 3 times of put down he went back to sleep for another 30mins - big progress, then today (day 3) he slept 1.5hrs, he did put up a bit of a fight to go down but after that!  I don't want to get too excited but I was just so greatful that he at least had a good nap for once - just a shame I was at work and didn't benefit from it!!

Really hacked off with paed but hey we'll just have to wait and see what happens with the clinic.

Lizzie glad you have an appointment, I know it's hard putting Dyllan through it but you have to do something and if it's not the reflux then you need to find out what else is going on.  The probe is ok once it's in but I have no idea about the scope.

Huge hugs to you too, hang in there.
Laura xxxxxx

[LizzieN]

Thanks sweetie,
They are going to try and do the scope and the probe under general anaesthetic,  normally they just put the probe in awake but because D has to go under anyway, they recon that this will be better...

I'm so glad that you got a good nap, did it help any with Olivers night time?

Big hugs sweetie
xxLizzie

[babybarr]

No No No it didn't help with the night!!!!!  He spent 2hrs tossing and turning and then woke around 5.15am.... very disappointed!  Oh well, I'm going to stick to the plan for the rest of the week and see what happens.  He really looked like he had a canine tooth coming but it seems to have disappeared again!

Probably a good idea to do the whole lot under GA for Dyllan.  Although a GA is horrible.  Oliver was really really sick after his, but he was only 7mths old and had pnuemonia.  The only thing I would say about a GA is however long they say Dyllan is going to be down for add another hour on to it!  It always takes much longer in recovery than they say!

How's Dyllan been at night? 

xxxxx

[babybarr]

Yesterday my mum stuck to the plan and he had a 2hr nap (she woke him after 2hrs worried he may not sleep at night if she left him!)  However, he went to bed good as gold not a peep BUT was awake between 9pm and 11pm???  I can't win.  He was very unsettled and then was really crying laying down though, it was if he had insomnia!

So we're sticking to the plan for the rest of the week and seeing what happens...I guess that's all I can do? 

How's you Lizzie?  Is Dyllan sleeping any better?

Big hugs, oh and white chocolate chip cookies....

[LizzieN]

Hey beautiful,
Yeah I definately think you should just stick to the plan, if nothing else he is getting better sleeps during the day so that is a HUGE PLUS   You really are doing great with a very difficult situation lovely, so please don't feel down about it!!!

As to the canine teeth, Dyllan has had his fully descended pretty much since his front teeth came through, round 12 months...they have just cut in the last month or so...they really are difficult teeth!!! 

Dyllan is doing ok at the moment, usually have one session with him during the night where he needs me and several more times where he cries out for a while, but eventually re-settles (not as frantic crying as normal). Then we will have a couple of shockers, then ok again.....not sure!  I think the periods of awake crying out are probably teeth related as he is cutting three at the moment, the rest is the normal stuff that he struggles with!!!

Today he fell off his plastic bike and split his lip open really badly, blood all through his mouth the poor little man....he has been so good about it though, not whingy or anything so I'm very proud of him!!!

Big hugs to you beautiful and some hmmmmm what shall we have today, ever tried Tim Tams??  Yummmmy.

xx Lizzie

[babybarr]

Tim tams...we obviously don't have them here in the uk describe them?  We have something called yum yums...like long twisted doughnuts!

Glad Dyllan kinda doing ok.  I agree that Oliver getting more sleep during the day is good, and last night was a bit better to, although I'm that shattered I tend to sleep through if he's restless, only wake if he cries or moans now.  He keeps sitting up in his sleep as well which really isn't helping, I wonder what that's about.  I know he's asleep because I can see him on the video monitor and he has his eyes shut but is sat up.  All very odd, hoping he's not going to start sleepwalking next!

Big hugs
L xxxxx

[LizzieN]

I am positive that Dyllan sits bolt upright because his tummy is hurting or he is refluxing, one or the other.  Usually wind pain he rolls around crying and moaning, reflux makes him jump up even when he is still half asleep....the poor little things, it must be So horrible for them!!  Listen sleeping through the restlessness is a good thing sweetie, don't feel bad, you NEED your rest to look after Oliver properly during the day, getting too tired only means that your patience is worn too thin...you are doing exactly what you need to do.  You also need to give them a chance to resettle sometimes, so you're right

I doubt that Oliver will be a sleep walker sweetie, I just think there is more going on in that tummy than the paeds are picking up on!

Tim Tams are kind of like (I think they call them) penguin bars or something like that, sorry it's been a while since I was in the UK.  However, Tim Tams are a million times more declicious.....chocky bikkies with yummy soft chocky filling smothered in chocolate, mmmmmm.....wonderful with coffee.  You can do a Tim Tam Slam where you bite off opposite corners, suck your coffee through them then crunch, smoosh, eat it all up...the hot drink kind of melts the bikkie......Not particularly lady like, but oh yummy LOL (hmm I think I might be missing dairy a little).

Dyllan has to be admitted overnight for his pH probe which is happening next week, it feels so soon now (even though we have been waiting for forever).  He has to go off his meds, so it will be interesting to see if they are doing anything (we wonder if they aren't these days) and whether he has true reflux or something else going on...I'm a bit worried tbh, but know it's important to do.

Anyway lovely I'd better go for now,
lots of love and hugs, get as much sleep as you can
xx Lizzie