Hi Laura. I've just looked through the rest of your thread and you and Oliver have certainly been through tough times. Well done you though for insisting that something was wrong! It has now given me renewed energy to try to look in to my LOs sleep problems. Your DS sounds like my DD - used to sleep through the night but bad naps, whereas my DS has just always been shocking with naps and nights! The difference with our LOs is also that mine don't really toss and turn much when they are asleep, they are just sometimes wide awake for their NWs. My DS will occassionally toss and turn for about an hour in his sleep about every 10-20mins but this is rare, I think. So I was wondering if there is something else wrong with your DS, like sleep apnea, that is causing the restless sleep and making him more OT, which then in turn leads to the horrible viscious OT cycle and the lengthy NWS. I had read about sleep apnea too, and apparently a sign of it can be a lot of coughing when they are asleep. Mine only do this rarely but I'm going to mention to my doctor in a couple of weeks at my DD's 4 yr check up.
My DS sounds very much like your in other ways though, like not being able to get a 2nd nap in. I found that being flexible with his nap time helped b/c it seemed like if he went down just 15 mins too late for his nap he would invariably do a short nap (anything from 40 - 85 mins and wake crying/very grumpy). So I had to be flexible to try to ensure a long nap (90-120mins) which he would usually wake happy from, as there was only one shot at it a day and if I got it wrong it usually meant a bad night! Sometimes this meant he would be waking from it pretty early as he would be up for the day from 5am on (we even had a few 4.30ams!). By 18 mths I gave up trying to get him having a 2nd nap in the cot on these days and would take him out in the pram instead where he would sometimes have a short catnap, and if he didn't it just seemed to help get him through the rest of the day a bit more. I have carried on doing that up until recently, but over the last couple of mths I didn't lay him down anymore as he never slept and he would just pull DD's hair (in the double pram) so he would just sit up and this just helped keep him calm as he loves going out in the pram. So I would recommend any low key activities towards the end of the day and then an early b/time.
Being flexible with his nap meant I wrote down all his sleep times and then looked back at them to work out when he should go for the nap according to his am wake up time and how much he slept the night before! So for eg. at 18 mths, if he was awake for 90 mins in the night and only slept 10 hrs total night sleep then he might only have am A time of 3.5hrs to be asleep at the 4 hr mark. Whereas if he slept through 11.5 hrs his A time would be 4.5 hrs to be asleep at 5hrs. Sounds crazy doesn't it!!! But it worked most of the time (not all of the time!). It didn't completely get rid of those horrible long NWs but I'm sure it helped reduce them, and he would still wake most nights but only for a few mins each time.
When DS is also OT he can take up to 60mins to sleep, sometimes longer, so sometimes if you have put your DS down for a sleep and you're sure he's tired, but he's just not sleeping, he could be like my DS and take aaaaaages to relax and get to sleep.
Also read that you are a teacher - so am I!! Sorry to read that they aren't v supportive, I hope they are by now. I haven't been back to work since just before DS was born, was planning to go back when he was one, but with the way he was sleeping that just didn't happen, so you are doing much better than being able to work as well!!
Hope things start getting better for you and DS v soon,
Katherine xx
