Frazzeld Mom with short napper infant and 2 year old todder

[Shawn]

Our 10 week old infant has short naps - he wakes up at different increments - 5 min, 10 min, 20 min, 40 min at the transition points.  However, it's never the same so it's hard to predict.  We also have a 2 year old toddler who struggled with sleep issues too.  We use the EASY plan, have developed a wind-down, and swaddle.  Today he slept around 30-40 minutes at the start of each nap and then it was asleep - awake every couple of minutes for the next 45 minutes until he reached the next E. We use the pt-sh to get him through the transitions or pick him up and pt-sh on the shoulder if his fussing escalates into crying.   

I try to stay with him the room, but with a toddler it is very difficult.  I don't want to have our toddler watching T.V. but that seems to be the only thing that will keep her occupied while we work with the infant to get him to sleep.  It's exhausting -  I don't know how to balance the sleep needs of the infant with the activity needs for our toddler.  As a result I'm feeling guilty and overwhelmed.  I keep trying to do what the model calls for but I can't justify being in the nursery for 1.5 hrs while our toddler is left alone.  What do I do? 

[*Natasha*]

Could you please post you routine?
Does he have a paci/dummy? Is he swaddled?
Is he breast or bottle feed?

[Shawn]

Here's our routine

E 7:10 or 7:15 AM (Breastfeed)
A 7:30 (Change diaper, low key activity)
S 8:15 (See yawns sometimes 1/2 hour after wake-up, but normally see big yawn 45-50 minutes after wake up).  Wind-down routine is to swaddle (we use the miracle blanket because he breaks out of other blankets).  Then go to room, close shades, turn on white noise and sit/stand with him without swaying or rocking.  He doesn't like his swaddle so it takes a couple of minutes to calm him down but then he usually starts batting his eyes within a minute after stopping the fussing.  So many times we don't even make it the suggested 5 minutes before we put in in the crib awake.  This morning he talked and moved his legs for about 8 minutes in the crib before he fell sleeep.  We try to use a paci, but he doesn't always take it.  Sometimes when he spits it out (if he's asleep) he wakes himself up and we have to start the whole process over.

Normally wakes up then at one of the transition points and we either 1)wait to see if he goes to sleep by himself, 2) pt-sh to calm down, or 3) pt-sh on shoulder if he's really crying.  This goes on to the next E time.  Yesterday he was pretty consistent with a wakeup time at 40 minutes, but that isn't every day.  Have resorted to using the swing or putting him in a moby wrap or baby bjorn just to get him to sleep sometimes.

10:15 E (Breastfeed)
10:35 A (change diaper, sits in rocker and we talk together, has some floor time on back and tummy.  We may take a walk or read some books).
12:00 S (Start wind-down 11:45 or so).  He many take longer to fall asleep than 15 minutes. Same routine as earlier nap time.

1:15 E (Breastfeed)
1:35 A (same as activity time before)
3:00 S (Wind down at 2:45 or so).  Same routine as earlier nap time.

4:15 E (Breastfeed)
4:35 A
5:45 S (This time we normally do hold him to sleep because it is a short nap and we're getting supper ready)
6:30 A Bath and some low key activity
7:15 E (Breastfeed)
8:00 S

10:30 E Dreamfeed with bottle by Dad

Normally nurses one time during the night, but the time fluctuates depending on his wake-up (could be anywhere from 1:30 am to 4:00 am)

[*Natasha*]

I am thinking if he is taking a long time to fall asleep and onlt napping for 45mins he needs a little more awake time so 1hr 15mins in total to start with and see how that goes. so try:

7.10am - Wake
8.30am - Sleep
10.10am - Eat
11.30am - Sleep
1.10pm - Feed
2.30pm - Sleep
4.10pm - Feed
5.30pm - Sleep
6.30pm - Bath
7.10pm - Feed
7.30pm - Sleep for the night.

[Shawn]

so you think he needs more activity time then.  We were thinking the same thing.  We'll let you know how it goes.  Thanks!

[Shawn]

Today was one of the best napping days ds has had!  I extended the activity times and he slept much better all day long.  First, he fell asleep quickly, and second he was able to extend his sleep time.  I know it was just one day, but it's giving me some hope.  We'll keep working on this schedule.  Thank you!!! 

[*Natasha*]

So pleased it worked out hope it continues 

[Shawn]

Unfortunately today has been a tough day again.  We kept him up longer like yesterday and he fell asleep rather quickly.  However, he woke up before the 40 minute transition (I was planning on getting back in there to help him) and then it was an 1 hour of working with him to get him back to sleep... which he never did.  It was time to nurse him so I did and we had some activity time and then sleep again.  He went to sleep but has been waking up almost every 10 minutes.  I know he's overtired so I'm just trying to get him to sleep this nap cycle.  This and my 2 year old has been more resistant with naps too!  Oh the joys of being a Mom.  It will pass and it will get better - so my attitude has been pretty good today given the struggles. 

[*Natasha*]

HUGS sorry the rest of the day was rough but glad you have a positive attitude about it keep trying at it each day will get better