Now that ear infection is gone, how do I get him to sleep?

[mstrath]

My LO is 10 months old, 7 and a half adjust for prematurity. He was STTN 12 hours for several months and then started waking up constantly through the night due to multiple ear infections. Now we are done with our second round of antibiotics but he is still waking around the usual times at night and is so hard to settle back to sleep. Last night he woke around 12:30/1:00am like usual and did not settle until almost 4:00am! I tried shush/pat like usual, but the second I took my hand off him, he started crying again. I tried PU/PD, I tried combining both techniques with wi/wo, nothing worked. He finally just gave up around 4:00am. The whole house is so exhausted. The night before he actually slept right through so I don't get how it can then fall apart the next night. Everyone is telling me to let him CIO because they think he is just fine and is doing this out of habit and is relying on us soothing him instead of him soothing himself. I just can't stand to hear him cry and he escalates the longer you let him cry. He puts himself down for every nap and at bedtime so I don't get why he is continuing to do this at night. Please help! Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! My husband works, my mother-in-law is 78 yrs old, and I am diabetic, so none of us should be losing so much sleep!

[mstrath]

I think I'm going to take him back in to have his ears checked just to make sure, but I think they are better. He hasn't been pulling on them anymore and, like I said, the second I put my hand on him or pick him up he stops crying so I would think he would maybe still cry if he was in pain. It's hard to know. He would also stop crying last night when he heard my husband and I talking. His routine looks like this:
7:00am Wake
7:15am Bottle
8:30am Solids
10:00am Nap
11:30am Wake/Bottle
12:30pm Solids
2:30pm Bottle
3:00pm Nap
4:00pm Wake
5:00pm Solids
6:45pm Bottle
7:00/7:30pm Down for the night

If he wakes early from his morning nap, he goes down earlier for his afternoon nap and I let him sleep longer to make up for it. Otherwise I keep his afternoon nap 1 hour in case he was getting too much daytime sleep. He goes down awake for all of his naps and for his bedtime and puts himself to sleep talking to his lovie. We don't hear anything out of him until about 12:30/1:00isham, sometimes later. If I have become a prop, how do I stop? 

[mstrath]

Thank you for the advice. I did something similar last night and it went well. He started at about 12:30 like usual. I waited a bit to see if he could settle himself. He cried a little and then stopped a couple times. When he escalated into a Mommy I need you cry, I walked in, patted his tummy and said, "It's time to sleep, Chase, sweet dreams" and walked away. He settled for a bit and I stayed just outside his door. He fussed a couple more times then went to sleep. It probably took about 45 minutes until I was pretty sure he was asleep and I went to bed. I didn't hear anything from him until morning. I'm hopeful, I will plan on doing the same thing tonight. I just can't do the CIO, I've had his doctor tell me I should, but two seconds later he discovered my DS had another ear infection and said that was what was waking him at night. So if I let him CIO, how will I ever know he is in pain since that was his only symptom iykwim! Thanks again for the help. I will give you an update after our night tonight.

[mstrath]

Last night was worse than the night before. He started a little earlier, about 11:00pm. We waited until his cry got pretty serious and my husband went up, put his hand on him and said our sleep words. Again, the second my husband took his hand away he started crying again. My husband went up 3 times then I took a turn. I probably went in another 3 times and after about 1 hour and 15 minutes my husband got frustrated, went in and in a firm voice said "Chase that's enough, you have been crying for an hour and 15 minutes. You are 10 months old, you need to go to sleep." I just sat outside the door cringing just thinking about the meltdown that was about to occur. My husband stayed in the room a couple minutes and then went back to bed. Surprisingly, my DS actually went right to sleep after that! I didn't hear from him for the rest of the night! I know that wasn't the best technique and it was totally done out of frustration from dealing with this for the past month, but it seemed to work (this time). I'm sure we will have another rough night tonight. I keep having to explain to my husband that these things don't resolve themselves after one or even two nights.

[mstrath]

He has slept through the last two nights! I guess he needed the talking to from daddy. I wasn't staying in the room long at all. Just enough to walk in, put my hand on his chest and say our nighttime words. Then I sat outside his room until I needed to go in again. I know exactly what you mean by getting worked up. I was definitely getting worked up the other night, that's why my husband stepped in. He didn't raise his voice at all at DS, he was just stern which I guess was what he needed.

I heard DS at about 2:30 this morning, but he only made a few fussy noises, nothing like what he was doing, and put himself back to sleep. I went up and checked on him after he stopped making noises and he was sound asleep. I hope this continues!