Advice please newbie here

[pinkie74]

Hi, I'm Carmel i've two boys 5yrs and 15months,
Well i'm hoping someone can help!
For the last week the baby is refusing to sleep in his cot day and night,he you'se to go down at 10.30 am morning nap and 3.00pm afternoon nap now when i go to put him in the cot he just crys,
Not sure why he's started this the only thing i can think of is he had his mmr last friday,
Now i know i should let him cry for a while but he screams the house down then i give in and take him in with me and as soon as his head hits the pillow he's out cold,i've tried lifting him back in but just wakes screaming again.
So how do i break this habit because i can't go on like this, is he just been clever to get into my bed
Any tips
Thanks Carmel     

[donvitol]

have you tried soothing him while he is in his cot, but not picking him up?  Trying singing, rubbing his back, stroking his hair, anything but don't pick him up!

[louis-mummy]

Hi

You don't need to leave him to cry !

It probably was the mmr which has got him off track but it sounds like SA now... it is very hard not to take them into your bed when you are tired (i still do it sometimes - it only takes my LO one time to 'remember' what he needs to do to get back into mummy's bed  the way i see it why wouldn't they want to sleep with Mummy if they could?!)

I think it would be worthwhile us knowing how he used to go to sleep? did he usually go to sleep independantly? if so then you will be glad to learn that it shouldn't be too hard for him to re-learn how to go to sleep happily in his own bed 

Have a look here:
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0

also a quote from another similar post i found useful
If you think it is a cot phobia, put your LO in the cot with some exciting toys and stay in the room with him while he plays as a part of his A time....Then play peek-a-boo with him around the door frame, so he remembers that even if he can't see you, you are still close by...Just make sure you take the toys out again before he needs to nap, you don't want naps to turn into play.  If you put him down and he screams if you stay there and talk to him does his crying escalate or does it settle into a loud mantra cry?  give him a bit more physical contact in the crib if he needs it to relax (I used to lay my hands firmly on DSs shoulder and hip), keep repeating the sleepy phrase if you think it is helping and only pick up if you have to.  If he won't settle down, cuddle almost to sleep then put in the crib drowsy but still awake, so at least he knows where he is.....when you put him down then place your hands on him firmly and reassure with your voice if he needs it, so he still feels secure. I know this is AP, but it is more BW than putting him to a deep sleep in your arms and it may help you get back to normal.....If you do this you will have to gradually reduce your intervention back to independent self settling....

Please let us know how things go and good luck

[deckchariot]

He might also be ready to transition to 1 nap and so he may not be tired enough for that morning nap, but then gets OT for the other naps.  Most bubs start the transition around 10/11 mos, but some aren't fully on 1 nap til 18 mos.  If you think that might be it, there are basically 2 approaches to the switch:
1) keep 1st nap at the same A time every day, but gradually shorten the length of it; at the same time, move pm nap earlier (by the same amount you shorten nap 1).  When nap 1 is <30 min, attempt to cut it out and just have 1 nap.
2) push morning A time later, allow your bub to sleep as long as they want in the am, then do a late pm catnap (can be a shorter A time than in the am, as you don't want them to take a full nap); eventually cut out pm catnap.

If he needs a longer A time before bed, then option #1 is generally better.  If he doesn't and HATES being woken from the am nap, option #2 may be better.  In both cases, you can offer an early bedtime if one/both of the naps is bad.

Whichever approach you choose - it's best to go gradually - so either cut 15 min off the am nap every 3-5 days or lengthen the am A time by 15 min every 3-5 days.  It also is helpful to know about how much day sleep is "optimal" for your ds and how much A time he needs (minimum) between his last nap and bedtime - that can help you plan out the day.

hth
michelle

[pinkie74]

Thank you all for your kind advice,going to cut out one of his naps and see how we go,
He slept in his cot last night from 9pm till 2pm but i put him down asleep.
Thanks again
Carmel

[deckchariot]

I wouldn't cut out his nap entirely - going cold turkey from 2 naps to 1 nap usually just results in a more overtired bub.  I would gradually cut down one nap while focusing on the other.  It can often take several months for bubs to switch to just one nap.

hth
michelle