helping a 4-week old transition to deep sleep

[smctagga]

Hello,

My DS is just over 4 weeks, and we have been consistently using the Shush-pat method for the last 2 weeks, but are not seeing any progress on helping him get to sleep for his daytime naps-in fact I would say that they are getting worse. Additionally, his night sleeping appears to be starting to unravel as well.
He is over 9lbs now and is on a 3-hourly routine, with cluster feeding in the evenings, a dream-feed, a 2ish feed and a 5ish feed and then back to 3 hourly starting between 6 and 7.
Regardless of the time of day, the following pattern prevails:
At the first sign of a yawn, he is taken into our bedroom, the curtains closed, he is swaddled, I turn a white noise maker on, and I hold him against my shoulder for a few minutes. Whereas initially he would be very calm at this point and maybe even with the 'glazed' eyes that Tracy described, he starts to scream when I go to swaddle him and can takes a long time (5-20 minutes) to console. Still, I can usually get him down after he is calm. My problem is helping him transition into deeper sleep. Even with my hands pressing on his belly and back (I generally am only able to get him to sleep on his side), I can't seem to help him through his 'jolts' which happen 20-30 minutes after he drifts off. At night, getting to sleep is super easy, but then he wakes up after 20-30 minutes and then screams for almost 40 minutes. He also can do lots of grunting and squirming and drawing up his legs with his eyes closed at any point in the cycle, which is very likely to wake him.
I guess I am wondering where I am going wrong with the shush-pat method, how long I should persist with it, and how much crying is normal for a baby trying to get to sleep? Without him getting any deep sleep we are falling into the trap of being exhausted during the feeds, and so falling asleep during the feed and not taking enough milk to last for 3 hours, which virtually eliminates any Activity time. I really need help getting him through that transition period.
Many thanks in advance for any help,

Seanna

[Barbaara]

Hi Seanna,

Is your LO swaddled?  It may help with the jolting awake.

Also it sounds like you're LO is having cramps or maybe gas is bothering him?  The discomfort could be waking him up.  If he's in pain I'm guessing shh/pat won't really work.  What do you think?

How long does he sleep? How long does he feed?  How long is he awake for?    Maybe you could post your routine in EAS-format?  A tweak here and there may help with naps and nights.

HTH

Barbara
x

[brenda2]

my DD2 is 6 weeks old and has huge jolts when going to sleep.  she fights it like crazy.  she will be asleep for 5 to 10 min and then jolt awake, and do this about 5 to 10 times before she stays asleep.  so it takes her 30 to 60 to 90 min to fall asleep for naps and bed.  i don't know if the 5 min sleep times are restful at all but it's certainly frustrating for me!  at least my LO isn't crying during this, she seems to be happily going in and out of sleep stages.

we are getting short naps every once in a while too...at this young age though they are still learning so i am trying to be patient with it and stick with it.  one thing that is really working for my LO is the paci.  does DS have a paci?  my LO will cry but if i put the paci in she just sucks away and is fine even though it takes her a while to go to sleep.

how long is his A time?  my LO is doing about 45 min A time (this includes feed time) before i am trying for a nap.  the first yawn may be too late already.

[smctagga]

thanks for your reply Barbara.

DS is indeed swaddled, we don't get anywhere unless he is. You are also correct that he does have bad wind- when he draws his knees up (as well as he can in the swaddle) he often passes gas and then settles again. We also have the basket propped up as suggested for reflux- although I am not sure if this is the problem. He mostly doesn't wake for the cramps and gas, just gives little moans and wiggles until the discomfort passes. I have just managed to get him through to deep sleep for the first time- literally by keeping my hands on him for 30 minutes and giving him a wee pat whenever he jolted. Surely I won't have to do this always?

Here is his EASY schedule so far this morning:
E 6:15 wake and eat for 20 minutes.
A 6:35- 7:15 nappy change, thrush treatment, poked and prodded by toddler brother
S 7:15-7:20 in bedroom with blinds drawn, swaddled, held and then put in basket.
Y:  sitting with hands on him!


Within the 3 hour cycle, he typically eats from 20-45 minutes and the total time from awakening to the first yawn is between 1hour and 1 hour and 15 minutes. Sometimes this just allows the feed and a nappy and vest change. He has a bit of a cold at the moment, so seems to be needing the extra sleep (although it may also be a factor of not getting nice deep sleep).

As I have been writing out our 'problems' I am now thinking that I am getting him into the bedroom too late. I am waiting for the yawn, but I think that I can now recognize his tired squeaks and increased arm and leg activity that comes first. I will try getting him down sooner- even if it means next to no activity time. What do you think?

Cheers,

Seanna

[Barbaara]

You may be right about the first yawn being too late.  I would go by the other signs for a couple of days to see if naps will improve.

At this age the E part and nappy change is A time enough for them.  You want to be very careful of overstimulation, especially is you have touchy or spirited baby.

B

[smctagga]

This morning I wasn't able to help DS into deep sleep and there was much crying and screaming, such that he only fell asleep (again) 30 minutes before I was expecting to give him his next feed. Should I wake him for the feed, let him go for a 45 minute cycle, or let him sleep as long as he wants (up until the appropriate 1.5 hours)?

Many thanks for your insights!

[brenda2]

we have the same issue...DD2 will fall asleep at the appropriate time, wake after 30 min then go in and out of sleep cycles until she falls asleep and stays asleep for longer so that she is always still asleep at the next feed time.  i almost always have to wake her up.  should i be waking her for her feed?  i think so just to get the calories in in the day so that's what i have been doing.

this morning for example:
7 awake and feed
8-8:30 sleep
8:30-9:10 resettling, asleep for 5 to 10 min at a time, or at least quiet in her crib with me going in and out as needed
9-10:10 sleep and i am just heading in there now to wake her up!

[smctagga]

I agree with you that the key is to get the calories into them so that the night sleeping stays happy. I didn't think of this, and so let him sleep for his full two hours, which put him one hour back. As a result his bedtime was also pushed back, and we are now at over 30 minutes of trying to get him to sleep. Clearly he is exhausted. However, if this all pans out, then hopefully he will wake at 7 instead of 6:15!
Good luck with your naps!
S

[Barbaara]

Hi ladies,

I would let LO sleep at least 45 mins and then wake them up if it's time for E.  Just make sure to keep next A time really low key and shorter (if possible  )as they won't be fully rested after a short nap.

HTH

Barbara
x

[smctagga]

Hi Barbara;

So, regardless of when LO finally manages to drop off, I should allow a complete sleep cycle? Even if this pushes the E 30 minutes back? We tried to get DS to sleep last night for over 3 hours with very intermittant success. I ended up giving him a feed and then letting him sleep with me. Sometimes the trade off between accidental parenting and sanity seems worth it! Nap this morning was also not successful- I needed to sling to get him down. Fingers crossed for the next one. For once we have a free day, so are able to try three naps in the cot and everything will be very low key.

As a side note, I realize that whereas I had no problems a couple of days ago getting him to REM sleep, I am not having big difficulties with this. Any thoughts?

S

[Barbaara]

Well... I'm not sure if this is the right advice, but I would let him sleep 1 complete cycle, because I think he will be too tired to eat properly otherwise.

Keep posting your routine as you go, so we can help you out. For example:

E: 7:00 (how long)
A: 7:00 - 8:00
S: 8:00 - 10:00
...

HTH

Barbara
x

[smctagga]

Hi Barabara;

Thanks again for replying. I really feel like things are getting worse as each nap passes, and I am more tempted to reach for an easy (pardon the pun) fix. Here is our routine from today:

(coming out of a night where he never completed a cycle between 6:30pm and 11:30 and with loads of crying)

E 6:30-6:50
A 6:50-7:20
S attempted ssh/pat until 9:10 when I put him in sling when he slept until 9:35
E 9:35-10:00am
A none, but awake after feed and for swaddle
S 10:05-10:35, then the jerks started and continued for 10 minutes, hands on helped into deep sleep
11:15, awake screaming, ssh/pat for 10 min then put on chest and he slept for 1 hour
E 12:20-12:55
A 1:00-1:30
S 1:55-3:00 (took 25 min of ssh/pat, almost no crying though)
E 3:00-3:30
A 3:30-3:45
S 4:00-5:15 (in sling, picking up older brother from nursery)
E 5:30-6:30 (both sides, with a 10-15 burp break between sides)
S 7:30 after 1 hour of screaming and ssh/patting.

It is interesting how in typing this out how often I deviate from the 'plan'. To me it looks like there is far too much activity time, although I hardly feel like I see him at all except for feeding and ssh/patting. Also, I do have a certain reluctance to have him swaddled for so many hours a day. My swaddling blanket (the so-called Miracle Blanket) says that they shouldn't be swaddled for more than 12 hours in 24, which he exceeds. Is this fear unfounded?

It is fantastic to be able to ask for help!
Cheers,

Seanna