Author Topic: Refusal to wash hair - not washed for WEEKS - ugh... (Read 9097 times)

Bryony · « **on:** August 22, 2009, 18:38:52 pm »

Anyone got any ideas?

Katie is 2.5 years - never been a fan of having her hair washed - but the last few weeks she's completely refused. We used to do it in the bath, but have also tried the shower, doing it with me holding her over the sink while DH gently puts water on.... We've tried different times of day, we use a mild baby shampoo that doesn't sting her eyes... have tried letting her wash my hair while I wash hers... .. and am now out of ideas!

I try not to have a "I will do this whether you want it or not" parenting philosophy - other than the real safety things like crossing the road - and to be honest she's so strong and stubborn I don't think I could hold her down to do it even if I wanted to

So, so far it's been several weeks since her hair was washed... it doesn't look as horrible as you'd think it would - but at some point she will put food in it or something and we will *have* to wash it - a day I dread.

Any ideas anyone?

Bryony

Ennypen · « **Reply #1 on:** August 22, 2009, 18:46:51 pm »

Woo went through this and now will only allow Tony the Washmit Tiger to wash his hair.. Tony talks to him about it and does the whole process. He's 4 now and still falls for it lol.. Do you think she might go for that sort of thing?

Another thought - could she wash a dolly's hair in the bath maybe so she can see exactly what you do and might want dolly to do it for her too.

Short of this I think you can get dry shampoo for people who are in hospital etc which may help freshen her hair up in the meantime.

Helen xx

Bryony · « **Reply #2 on:** August 22, 2009, 19:41:04 pm »

Thanks Helen xx

I was just saying to DH that maybe we could get a dolly who can go in the bath so that we can wash the dolly's hair together. Katie's dolls are all rag dolls and I suspect wouldn't take kindly to going in the bath so we need to go shopping....

I like the washmitt idea too

Will see what I can find next time we are in town!

And I hadn't thought of the dry shampoo - that's a great idea - thanks.

This is one of the many reasons why I love this site - someone can always come up with a new idea that I haven't thought of!

Bryony x

Ennypen · « **Reply #3 on:** August 22, 2009, 20:40:37 pm »

Thats cus there's rarely a challenge that kids throw at us that other kids havent thrown at their parents before.. lol..

Woo also will only let Tony the Washmit Tiger clean his teeth lol..

Hope the mit or dolly works... if not have fun with the dry shampoo lol xx

H x

Canwi · « **Reply #4 on:** August 23, 2009, 04:20:36 am »

Is it warm enough to go outside in a sprinkler on the lawn (if you have access to some) or would she go to the swimming pool so that at least some water goes on it?
Another 'sneaky' tactic you could use at the pool is that 'the pool people say we have to wash our hair after swimming to make sure we don't get sick from the chlorine' or something to that effect?
Dunno if either of those will help.

The "dry" shampoo that I've had experience with is supplied in the form of a hat, kinda like a shower cap, with a cloth interior that is saturated with the "dry shampoo". You need to warm it in a microwave and then put on the head for a period of time until the hair absorbs the 'shampoo' from the cap. Then take off the cap and towel dry.
Not the greatest, especially on long hair, but as Helen said better than nothing.

Sarah - Enfys' Mum · « **Reply #5 on:** August 23, 2009, 07:09:40 am »

Yeah, I thought to take her swimming as well. At least you'd get her head wet

Bryony · « **Reply #6 on:** August 23, 2009, 15:42:27 pm »

Thanks everyone!

unfortunately the refusal to wash hair has been accompanied by a refusal to go swmming, go in the paddling pool etc - and it's pretty tricky getting her in the bath and she refuses to sit down, just paddles around. I think she hates the feeling of water on her face. The nearest we get to washing her face these days is a babywipe....

Helen - the only way K's teeth get cleaned is if one of her teddys does it!

Bryony

Mashi · « **Reply #7 on:** August 23, 2009, 16:08:21 pm »

I think LUSH does a dry shampoo that seems a bit less complicated than the one Deb described -- sort of a rub in, towel out type thing, but as they change and discontinue products often it may not be there anymore.

deb · « **Reply #8 on:** August 23, 2009, 16:20:08 pm »

If hair gets really stringy and oily, you can always rub some baby powder thru it! (Use the corn starch kind, NOT the talc kind, 'cause talcum powder in kissie lungs is BAAAAAD news!) Not perfect, but it's OK in an emergency

Bryony · « **Reply #9 on:** August 23, 2009, 16:35:24 pm »

Have got to go into London tomorrow for a meeting (rather than my usual place of work) so I can see an eclectic shopping trip coming on my way home:

1. Dry shampoo
2. Dolly to wash hair in bath

Wish me luck!

B

aisling · « **Reply #10 on:** August 23, 2009, 16:50:25 pm »

Also with not wanting water on the face it stems from water getting in the eyes. Water does irritate the eyes even without shampoo, and it bugs lots of LO's. Have you tired swim goggles for paddling pools, pools and yes, the bath! Saved our friend's lives. They had this with their DD and it worked. They also had her lay down in the bath to wet and rinse her hair with the goggles on. She is 6 yrs now btw and swims like a fish and no longer has to wear goggles in the bath but does when she swims.

deb · « **Reply #11 on:** August 23, 2009, 16:52:18 pm »

If she saw someone else go first, might she consent to lay down in the tub on her back and have it done where it can't really get into her eyes? The doll might be the perfect demo model!

Maeve · « **Reply #12 on:** August 23, 2009, 16:53:47 pm »

I had this problem 3 years ago. The doll didn't work for us, although I am sure she was grateful. In the end there was a long struggle and every so often I would tell him it had to be done, which he accepted, grudgingly. Easier with a boy, I suppose, with less to was.
But in the end, only about a year ago, I hit on something that worked, I got him to look at the ceiling and I held up some of my fingers and got him to count them. That wouldn't work on a 2 and a half year old but I wonder if you put only a tiny amount of water in the bath, like an inch or 2, and put sometihng on the ceiling, like stickers, might that work?

~emmalou~ · « **Reply #13 on:** August 23, 2009, 17:27:11 pm »

There's a special jug in mothercare that has a seal around it esp for washing kiddies hair and guarantees no water in eyes. Its on their website I think. Could you use it on her dolly and show how it doesn't get in her eyes etc. We are getting one for dd as she freaks when water gets in her ears x x

skatty · « **Reply #14 on:** August 23, 2009, 18:16:14 pm »

Bryony we are going through the exact same thing! Leorah wont even go swimming because she knows she gets her hair washed afterwards! She has now caught on to the paddling pool trick so wont get in there either

She has for the last 2 weeks laid down on the kitchen counter and laid back so I can wash the ends of her hair but I have been nowhere near the scalp and we have to alternate between myself and DH having water poured over our heads too

She has really thick curly hair so we put leave in conditioners and serums in it daily so it has to be washed. Leorah doesn't like dolls but we had a My Little Pony and she got in the bath the first time I tried that but not again. Her fear is definitely the shampoo, she doesn't care about water in her eyes or over her head but if she knows there is any shampoo likely to be nearby she will refuse to cooperate and she wont even listen when I try and tell her I will be careful and she can hold a cloth over her eyes. We tried goggles too but she acts like she is having a panic attack with them on. I still remember my dad pouring water over my head and letting shampoo get in my eyes as a kid, I would have a butterflies and feel nauseous all Sunday as it was hairwash day and I would dread it, I don't want that for Leorah

Lucie preciosa · « **Reply #15 on:** August 23, 2009, 18:33:47 pm »

we had that prob for a little while I started having baths with her, she will wash my hair, I will dry my face with a dry face towel, so she could do it too . Then I did it for her. We will both be washing our hair at the same time, she doing mine, me doing hers, then she will take the shapmpoo out too with a jug, and I'll do it too. We made it a game, after a week she let me wash her hair with no complaints, and thankfully did not complaint that I was not in the bath with her anymore. We gave her a dolly to play with too.
She still dry her face when too much water goes over her face.
good luck

skatty · « **Reply #16 on:** August 24, 2009, 04:57:22 am »

Marleni we tried that and it doesn't work, she loves washing daddy's hair but still panics when it comes to washing her own even though she used to put the shampoo onn herself. I really hope it is just a phase like other things our LOs go through, I don't know about Bryony's dd but Leorah wont even get in the bath now but thankfully will have a wash in the kitchen sink!

aisling · « **Reply #17 on:** August 24, 2009, 12:09:14 pm »

Spoke to my friend and she also mentioned keeping a towel near by to grab for wiping eyes.

Bryony · « **Reply #18 on:** August 24, 2009, 18:03:13 pm »

Am loving all the ideas, thank you thank you all...

Aisling - I was wondering about goggles - but do you know how your friend washes her LO's hair with the straps on the back of the head? I wasn't sure if the hair would alll get tangled up in the straps.

Didn't manage the shopping today - meeting went on all day and no time - but will try again at the weekend.... and will also look out for that jug from Mothercare, thanks Emma Lou!

Maeve - she does get that she needs to look at the ceiling - I get her to count the light bulbs or someting - but as soon as she feels the water on her head she crumples into a ball and looks down. And of course then all the water goes into her eyes. I've tried showing her (on me) that if I keep looking up, the water doesn't go in the eyes, but if i look down, it does - but it's like a reflex that she looks down as soon as she feels the water ....

We've tried keeping towel handy to dry face too.

Bryony x

Mashi · « **Reply #19 on:** August 24, 2009, 18:17:41 pm »

Could you possibly lean her backwards to wet her hair - get her to put her fingers in her ears, you can lean her back to get her hair wet and then up again to shampoo, then lean her back to rinse it out...that way, no water will get in her eyes?

They do the jugs at JoJoMaman as well, in case you can't get to a Mothercare:
http://www.jojomamanbebe.co.uk/detailfash.php?type=FASH&code=B3062&proddesc=Shampoo+Rinse+Cup&supercategory=BRN00005&branch=&wcategory=CAT00079&catdesc=&super=0030BRN00005~0010BRN00014~0060CAT00079&treecode=TRE00009

Maeve · « **Reply #20 on:** August 24, 2009, 19:31:56 pm »

I used to put a face cloth or towel on his eyes (but it has taken us about 3 years to get it sorted, so my advice is really good LOL)

Bryony · « **Reply #21 on:** August 24, 2009, 19:59:24 pm »

Just have to share this - we WASHED HER HAIR!!!

It was a hot sticky day, she was covered in sun screen and really sweaty - so I decided it *had* to be done. This is what we did:

1. To get it all wet - she washed my hair too and we alternated getting eachothers' hair wet in the bath.

2. Then I got her to rub in the shampoo herself (she likes that bit as it's all bubbly and if you rub hard enough little bubbles fly around in the air

)

3. Then we had a complete meltdown when she realised that I was going to have to wash the shampoo off - but I picked her up and cuddled her (both naked

) and filled the sink with lovely warm water and gently washed it off in the sink, holding her so that she couldn't look anwhere else but at the ceiling. She was wailing througout that she "didn't like it" but had to admit at the end that no water had gone in her eyes.

4. Followed by much dancing around the house telling her she was really brave and how nice and clean her hair was...

Now I wonder how long till we manage to do it again?!!

Bryony

Lucie preciosa · « **Reply #22 on:** August 24, 2009, 20:02:51 pm »

i agree with being a phase, they do like to taste our endurance!

Maeve · « **Reply #23 on:** August 24, 2009, 20:13:39 pm »

Brilliant!!!

* Paula * · « **Reply #24 on:** August 24, 2009, 20:15:50 pm »

You have no idea how grateful I am at finding this post.

We are going through exactly the same thing with DS. It has always been bad, but things have gotten worse as he gets older. He gets hysterical when we try to wash them, and he looks totally terrified

We have resorted to only washing it once a week now.

Thanks for posting your replies ladies

Canwi · « **Reply #25 on:** August 24, 2009, 22:08:24 pm »

Got another idea today. Would a shampoo visor/sheild work? Found these links to some examples.
http://www.mothercare.com/Mothercare-Shampoo-shield-Blue/dp/B001AIVVHW/sr=1-72/qid=1251150733/ref=sr_1_72/279-6782671-8293709?%5Fencoding=UTF8&m=A2LBKNDJ2KZUGQ&n=42855041&mcb=core
http://www.lilrinser.com/
http://www.amazon.com/Sassy-Bath-Visors-pack-assorted/dp/B000096LVE

I know that Michaels (US & Ca) sells something like these at times for crafts as sun visors.

aisling · « **Reply #26 on:** August 24, 2009, 23:58:25 pm »

FAB NEWS!!! Well done Mummy!

skatty · « **Reply #27 on:** August 25, 2009, 05:02:45 am »

Excellent news I hope it improves for you from here on

Leorah also got her hair washed yesterday, she had a paddling pool out and had much fun with her grandad chasing her with the watering can, when it came to shampoo there was a meltdown but for rinse off I did the same and held her and leaned her back with a towel over her face while her grandad rinsed, it is not thoroughly clean but wonderful grandad will bring her cousins saturday so they can go swimming, I hope she will actually go with them there

Bryony · « **Reply #28 on:** August 25, 2009, 16:48:15 pm »

Quote from: * Paula * on August 24, 2009, 20:15:50 pm

You have no idea how grateful I am at finding this post.

Paula - you will find some great ideas here!

Canwi - good idea, hadn't seen those visors. I will be checking out mothercare on Saturday!

Bryony

Mama2boys · « **Reply #29 on:** August 25, 2009, 18:17:19 pm »

thats great Bryony....hopefully you had the curtains down when the two of you were prancing naked around the house..celebrating a hair wash

LOL

Bryony · « **Reply #30 on:** August 25, 2009, 20:05:46 pm »

Quote from: mukta on August 25, 2009, 18:17:19 pm

thats great Bryony....hopefully you had the curtains down when the two of you were prancing naked around the house..celebrating a hair wash LOL

I have to say, I am not sure that I cared at that point!

* Paula * · « **Reply #31 on:** August 25, 2009, 20:16:24 pm »

Mama2boys · « **Reply #32 on:** August 25, 2009, 20:35:29 pm »

don't you just love life with a spirtited toddler!!!

Canwi · « **Reply #33 on:** August 27, 2009, 03:59:45 am »

Quote from: Bryony on August 25, 2009, 20:05:46 pm

I have to say, I am not sure that I cared at that point!

I'd say I'd probably be thinking the same thing!

pod · « **Reply #34 on:** August 31, 2009, 20:23:28 pm »

We had exactly this problem and I posted up a very similar post a while ago and got loads of good advice as well. I love all the ideas, as you've said, the great thing about this site...

We chose our doll together, but it was one of those disney dolls and i have to say once we got her clothes off to go in the bath my dd freaked out - well they are pretty weird! We tried everything, including those jug things, and the visor, which didn't work for us (but may for you). The thing I found worked in the end was based on one of the bits of advice I got on here - its important to remember that there are a lot of natural oils in hair, especially children's hair. And so most children won't actually need shampoos etc. that often - our dd has long thick hair. She went through the whole phase of refusing the bath even, but I gently reintroduced and took things really easy, then I would sing as we washed her with a flannel (I now sing as she washes herself, and I pretend to wash my own corresponding body parts), actually a Tracey tip - 'this is the way we wash our arms, wash our arms, wash our arms etc. etc.', then i'd get to her back and I would skim the back of her hair. I started doing this for a while and then added 'wash our head', then 'wash our hair' but always only with a flannel so her hair would eventually be totally wet, but none was going in her eyes. I realised that I didn't need shampoo at all. Now only on very rare occasions (when there is yogurt and sand and who knows what mangled in it) do I use shampoo and then only a very very very tiny bit, I rub it between my hands first so its coating them and then rub it over her head. It then can be wiped off with several goes of the flannel and no chance of it going in her eyes.

Thats what worked for us anyway, I'm sure you'll find the magic formula for you! Good luck, I do know how stressful it can feel

Bryony · « **Reply #35 on:** September 02, 2009, 17:01:34 pm »

Thanks Pod thats really helpful - so glad you found something that works for you!

We are also getting there slowly - she let grandad wash it last week when we were staying at the grandparents house

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Author Topic: Refusal to wash hair - not washed for WEEKS - ugh... (Read 9097 times)