8 month old wakes 2x a night for nothing! What is the reason? Seperation fear?

[KristieL]

Hi,

My daughter is going to be 8 months on Sept 1st
For the last few weeks she has been waking 2x a night. Once around 11pm-12am and again around 3am-4am.

My husband gets up because if I go in she gets panicked and thinks she needs to nurse. All he needs to do is go in the room and put his hand on her chest and maybe adjust her blanket and she immediately puts her thumb in her mouth and goes to sleep.
There is no reason for her to wake. She's not hungry, or wet and obviously is tired.

She used to do this a few months ago but we wouldn't' go in the room and she would put herself right back to sleep then she was a good sleeper again (only took her a few times to get back on track).
That's not the case here... we can't wait for to put herself back to sleep because she wakes up more upset and if we don't go in she will start crying.
It almost seems like some sort of separation anxiety....
Any suggestions?
 
We're desperate!


Thank you
Kristie

[lilac83]

Hi -

Could you post what a typical days routine looks like for her? I wonder if it's just a matter of needing a bit of a routine tweak.

[KristieL]

It's never exactly the same but here's the average day....

Wake up at 6:30am
Nurse
Play
She then would like to go back to sleep at 7:30am but I keep her up until around 8:15am
Naps (45min-1hr)
9:30am-10:00am Nurse
Play
Eat solids
Play
Naps(45min-2hrs * nap beings around 11am-12pm)
Nurse
Play
Naps again (30min-1hr *nap begins around 3pm-4pm)
Nurse
Solids
Play
Sometimes another nurse JUST before bed
Bed at around 6pm-7pm (would like to extend this and we're trying but her last nap is so early she generally can't go much longer past this, even if we try to extend her actively time between naps).

She then wakes around 11pm-12pm and 3am-4am.

Again... this isn't something she's been doing forever.... is basically started around 3 weeks ago (come to think of it, I think it started around the time she went through a one week teething phase, but the waking up never stopped, even though she's not in pain anymore)
It doesn't seem like habit though (could be?) because she seems more upset when she wakes.

[lilac83]

I think to start with, it would be a good idea to get rid of the third nap. Most LO's drop this around 6/7 months, so I think hanging on to it is causing a lot of the unsettled sleep problems. It looks like she's going to need a gentle nudge in the morning to get her A time up to 2hr 45min/3hr. Just go slowly and gently, adding only 10/15min every 3 days.

You mentioned wanting to make bedtime a bit later, so this will probably be prime time to do that. As her naps get later, you can slowly start to push her bedtime out a bit too. Hopefully this will cause her to start waking later in the morning, which I assume is your goal with the later bedtime.

Average A time for an 8mos old is right around 3hr.

HTH!

[KristieL]

Thank-you for taking the time to reply Robin.

What happens if she seems SO tired during the day?... how do I get rid of the 3rd nap without her being overtired and cranky and wanting to crash at 5-6pm because of not getting the 3rd nap?

[lilac83]

Hi -

Well, you don't need to cut it out cold turkey. Start off shortening it bit by bit until it's only a 20/30min power nap. After that she should be able to transition to just the 2 naps. By taking it slowly, there will be a lot less chance of her becoming OT.

Same thing applies to A time, gradually lengthen it over a period of a week or 2. No need to rush, everything will fall into place soon!

[KristieL]

So if she wakes at say 7am and goes to sleep at 7pm (for example) what should her two nap times be and for how long? (we she does transition to only 2)

[lilac83]

Usually with 2 naps there's 3hr A time before each nap and bed. So something like this:

7am - awake
9:45/10am - nap starts
11:30/12pm - nap ends
2:30/3pm - nap starts
4/4:30pm - nap ends
7pm - bedtime

HTH!