I can't do this.

[sieger]

I have just done something I never ever wantedto do. I just shouted at my seven and a half month baby. All because he can't get to sleep. Every night for the past week he has woken between three and four am and it's taking me hours to get him back off. My husband is working nights so it's just me. I've changed him, winded him, given him teething granules and gel, offered him water and milk. I've laid him on my bed and gone through our night time winding down and nothing is working. All shouting achieved was he cried more and so did I. I don't know what to do. He was a textbook baby but now he's changed. I have to go as he is crying his little eyes out and I hate to here him cry.

[sieger]

I took him out his cot and held him. He cried for a couple of minutes and then fell fast asleep. Could this all be down to teething? I feel like a criminal. You don't shout at babies - I don't shout much anyway - so why would I do such a wicked thing? Do I need to give him more medication? I don't want him to be in pain. I'm sorry if this sounds like the rantings of a mad women - perhaps I am! (That worries me too but that's for another day, he's my priority.) Any help/advice would be great x

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

{{{{hugs}}}} BTDT and she was alot younger than 7.5 months 

It could be teething, does he have any yet? Have you tried any pain relievers yet? (tylenol or motrin is what I use) It's worth a try, if he wakes up again to see if it gives him relief at all. Is there anything else going on in his day? what does his routine look like? I think it was at that age that Spencer dropped her catnap altogether (I think  )

Heidi

[CLJK]

You are not a bad mom.  Everyone gets frustrated at times.  I had a horrible time with DS#2 when he was an infant.  Please take a break and recharge yourself.  You NEED to get a break from the crying and from your son.  I know no one is a proponent of CIO, but your son is better off crying to himself for half an hour while you regroup if no one is there to help you.  It is much better than yelling at him in the middle of the night.  He will not hate you for letting him cry (he will have plenty of time to hate you when he gets older and you tell him he needs to brush his teeth before school.  Trust me on this one!!).  You have no perspective on the situation right now because you are in the middle of it.  Call a friend who has had fussy children and vent to her.  Put a pillow over your ears of you need to.  You NEED to take care of yourself so you can take care of your son.  This truly, truly will pass even though it feels like it never will.  Your e-mail is a cry for help, but please direct it at some family or friends who can help you.  PLEASE don't blame yourself or hate yourself.  Just do what you need to do to get calm in your life and take baby steps toward getting things back on track.

Best wishes and good luck.  Hugs.

[sieger]

Thank you very much for your support. Hubby is at home tonight so I haw some support this evening. I think I'll try some Calpol too. I've tried Teetha granules and teething gel. If anyone has any other suggestions please share. X

[sieger]

This is our usual routine:


6:30am - Awake, milk feed followed by breakfast.

8.30am - nap

11 -11.30am - bottle and Lunch.

1pm - Nap


2.30 - bottle (sometimes) 

4.00pm - Short nap 

6pm tea

7-7.30pm - Bath and bedtime routine including bottle

8pm - Asleep

Hope this makes sense. X

[jfbd6805]

Big hug to you! I actually did what you did to my first DS and I felt horrible too. I was horrified with myself that I could do that and so ashamed. I still feel guilty about it. However, we got through it and he is the best little sleeper now. Patience was something I had to train myself on ... when you are so sleep deprived yourself it can be hard to see the woods for the trees, but it is so important you take a breath and really calm yourself as they can sense your tension and it actually works against you at that point. What I would do, if I had been at it for 45 mins doing PUPD, is take him out of the room and walk around together... it was like magic for both of us as he would calm down as soon as he was out of the nursery and I would calm too b/c we both got a break. I would wait maybe 5 to 10 mins and then go back in and try again when I felt we were both ready for another session. If I still felt tense myself I would wait longer. Sometimes it would work and sometimes it didn't and I would just get him up. Obviously at night time you have to keep going but taking that break usually did the trick.

You are in good hands with Jane. She just helped me sort out my DD's sleep issues which seem quite similar to your DS. My DD was also not having the right amount of A time and still 'needed' a catnap b/c her last A was too long but Jane helped me sort it all out (if you want to see the thread it is 6.5 month consitant sleep issues). DD is also teething which maybe what is going on with your DS. I dont' know if you can get tylenol (active ingredient is paracetomol/acetominiphen) but that may help.

Take care and big heartfelt hug to you and your LO. You will get through this!

[NadeneR]

I think many of us have lost it with our lo's, I know I certainly have. My son who is now 5, woke between 5 and 11 times a night for over 8 months. (Didn't know about BW back then). I wanted to send him back to where he came from. Or donate him for research. Lol. Very grateful today that I didn't.

My heart so goes out to you, sleep deprivation is the worst thing to deal with, especially when you have a baby and all you have to do is GIVE, GIVE and GIVE some more to someone who truly needs you.

2 things from previous posts that I totally agree with:

1. Take time out for YOU, clear your head and use some quite time to focus on your love for your lo (I found this helped me to be more patient).

2. Your routine does need some tweaking. At 7 mo, they need about 3 hrs A time, and 2 x 2hr naps. Add about 10 min per nap time and do that for 3 days, then another 10 min for the next 3 days, and so on, till you get to 3 hrs. Unless you're lucky, like I was with DD, now 9 mo, and added 20 min each 3rd day. You might end up with an early bedtime for a few days, but that will sort itself out very quickly.

Just know you're not alone. And forgive yourself. He won't remember it and, having such a loving and caring mom as you are, he's had many more positive than negative experiences.

Hang in there and big hugs.
Nadene

[sieger]

I had been wondering about his A time. At the most he manages a little over two hours. Today has been much better, I went to a mother and baby group and had a chat about teething and stuff though I didn't own up to shouting, too ashamed. I'm going to try hard with the activity time and naps though at the moment things are a bit all over the place with him waking up at night.

Thank you sooo much for your help, my dh is fab but I don't really have anyone to talk to about this. DH is at home tonight so I have some support from him. Back to work on Monday and think that is praying on my mind too. XXX

[monsi]

I think almost everyone who has had a baby has shouted at them at some point so dont beat yourself up over it.

When my DD was teething she would wake around 3 or 4 and take an hour to get back to sleep but I found that if I gave her panadol (paracetamol) as soon as she woke she often went back to sleep quite easily but if I tried to settle her for a while before giving meds she was up the full hour. I would try meds before bed and then as soon as he wakes.... plus all the routine tweaking advice of course!

[sieger]

This sounds terrible but DS did it for my husband last night and it made me feel sooo much better. It's not me! DS woke at 1am and didn't go back til 4:30am. He didn't cry and I gave him Calpol before bed and when he woke. He got up at 8am and had breakfast but was exhausted by 9:30 am. It's 11:15am and he's fast asleep. I'm going to wake him at 11:30 am to try and get him back on track. What do people think?

[scraggles]

Just wanted to send you some big hugs.  I don't have any advice, but know that you are NOT a bad mom.  We all get frustrated, and sleep deprivation doesn't help.

[Repunzal]

I just wanted to second the post above.
As I am sure it has been written on these boards many times before, sleep deprivation is a form of torture.. Don't you beat yourself up too!
Take care and I hope things settle for you soon.

Rep x

[sieger]

I am going to try the 2:15 mins for activity time after this nap which will take us nicely to bedtime x

[NadeneR]

I hear what you say about being happy that DS did it with your dh as well. Just confirms that you're not doing anything wrong, and somehow it does make you feel a bit better.

You're doing great. Just slowly keep pushing those A times till you're closer to 3 hours. It takes about 3 days for their internal clocks to adjust, which is why you move it on every 3 days to prevent OT. I agree with Jane that your Lo is making up his A time at night. If you keep moving his A time longer and longer, it shouldn't be too long before you start noticing a difference.

Good luck and let us know how you're doing.

Nadene