sreaming at naps and bedtime.

[LucySol]

i have no idea where to go with this one.  DD is almost 14 months and her sleep is wonky just recently to put it mildly.She is fighting her naps and bedtime bigtime.i try for 2 naps but they are really becoming a struggle to fit them in the day.  she either refuses her am nap so then ends up with a lunchtime nap but then wont take a pm nap or if she sleeps in the am she then wont go down for a pm nap!! Like today she completely refused her am nap..screamed her head off!! she went down for her nap eventually at 11.45 only to wake at 12.25! i managed to get her back off to sleep by putting pressure on her bum only for her to wake 15 mins later tho she did resettle for another 35 mins after that.
she has always been very low on sleep needs and im sure she needs to go for 1 nap but she just doesnt sleep long enough to manage.she needs some crazy long A before bed so a late CN does not work for us..it worked well today in that i was able to extend but will i have to try to do this everyday or will she just get it?!

she has always been an independant sleeper but just recently she goes crazy when i leave the bedroom..this is not as bad when she is really whacked and ready for a sleep..WIWO just winds her up more and the only thing that works is to put my hand on her till she falls asleep.will this become a prop? what do i do? is this normal for her age?

[anna*]

I think it's pretty normal, we had hugely disrupted sleep around 15 months. I think they're starting to learn about intentions, and that what you want (to leave the room) is different to what she wants (for you to stay in there forever).

Re the 2-1 transition, it will be bumpy but she will get there. Is there any kind of AP that works for her? Will she ever nod off on a car drive? I'm wondering if she could sneak a 5-10 mins catnap mid morning, and then do a big nap after lunch. The good thing about going to 1 nap is that you won't have to have that battle twice a day!

Can you do a kind of gradual withdrawal with her? Once she is calm take your hand off her bum? Then take a step away from the cot... then in another minute, take another step, etc? The other thing I do with Stan is get him totally calm, then say 'Mummy has to do a wee, I'll come straight back.' Then go out the room, then go straight back in and calm him down. I would keep doing that until he was staying calm. The aim was for me to have him be calm and me go back in to him. I still do this - even when he goes down totally calm, I leave the room, tidy up for a couple of mins then go back in for 'one last kiss': I want him to feel like he doesn't have to cry to get my attention. It seems to be working (at last) too: now when he needs me he just calls 'Mummy?' unless he's had a nightmare or something of course.

Anyway, sorry for the ramble. Had a glass of wine this evening (see my other post), and feeling a bit wobbly. Hope this helps a bit.

[babybarr]

I just want to say I have been going through this too!  DS is 14.5mths.  What I have decided to do the last few days is fix the nap at a set time and extend it with put down (no pick up).  I've only be doing it 3 days so don't want to count any chickens just yet but today he had a 1.5hr nap - first one in weeks literally!  

HTH somehow....

[LucySol]

Thanx for your replies!

Anna; that makes me feel better.i have never had her scream like that and i wasnt sure what do to without causing more problems! The only AP that works anymore is the car.i have to drop ds off at school for 9am so if i took the long way home she would def dose off,but would that be too early? or bein so early could i leave her say 20 mins instead of the 5/10 mins? what do you think?

will try moving away slowly and see how i goes...i have a feeling she will protest for a while..fiesty little thing that she is!!

[anna*]

Yeh, 20 mins at 9 might be enough to get her through to a 12-12.30 nap, don't you think? Remember you can use your voice more too now - if you're still in the room but not actually touching her, as soon as she starts to whine you can say 'Hush now baby, it's just time to sleep. Lie down, shh, lie down.' Don't know if that will work for her spirited little self but it's worked well for Stan.

[aga01]

Sorry I don't have any advice but I'm going through the same things with 14 months ds. This has been happening for 7 weeks. I tried many things but nothing works. I think I will go to one nap for a week or two and see how it works. I feel that I wasted 7 weeks trying many options and nothing has changed. He's been OT all the time during this process. I'll let you know how the "cold turkey" with very early bed time goes.

Many hugs!!!!

[babybarr]

Hi Aga01, that's now what I've decided too after weeks or faffing around getting nowhere and having a cranky OT baby. Although he had a better nap yesterday we still had a bad night...but I'm sticking to the plan!!!  Have to try something else now.  Good luck.

Lucysol137, good luck to you too, I think however tempting it is to chop and change sometimes sticking to the same thing for a good few days helps!

[LucySol]

GGGRRR!!!! we were up at 5.30 this morning!!! she was asleep for 6.30 due to crappy naps so thats still 11 hrs but still way too early!!!! she will normally sleep 11.5 ish hr night so i guess i just need to push the day along a bit but how when naps are like this!

im fed up of crappy naps and early mornings!! Anna im going for the short nap in the car after the school run and then lunchtime nap and pray hard!!! (couldnt go for it yesterday could was out most of the day)

Aga/babybarr;im a bit reluctant to go cold turkey tho will if i need to.i am scared of D getting OT.OT for us always means EW!!!!

[LucySol]

i am sitting here about ready to ball!! This girl and sleep do not go together.she woke at 5.30 i had to drive for ages this morning to get her to have a short nap which she eventually gave in to at 9.15..(i woke her at 9.35).i had her back in bed for 12.15 and she has just screamed herself to sleep (with me in the room) for 30 mins!! she is asleep now but for how long..who knows!!! she just doesnt want to sleep.she gets so angry in the cot.The odd days she has had one nap she has just fallen asleep like a dream i guess cos she is tired enough but she just doesnt sleep long enough.

if she only naps for a short time now we are back to OT at bedtime and then another EW and the cycle continues.she wont have another catnap untill really late and im so reluctant to do that as she wont go to bed and late catnaps give us an EW too!

help!

[anna*]

Lucy, if you decide to go cold turkey that one nap will gradually extend. When you make the transition, they all start off with that nap being too short, but then it starts to get longer.

[munzle]

Just wanted to sympathise - I hated the 2-1 transition. It seemed to last forever and was incredibly frustrating and tiring. We got to a point (and it sounds similar to where you are now) where letting her have a little snooze in the morning just did not work. I found it really hard to get the A time right afterwards, and she always resisted the second nap, no matter what the A time was. In the end, we just had to push through and do one nap (started 11.30ish then gradually pushed it back). At first we had to do really early bedtimes (I mean 5.30pm sometimes) but gradually her A times increased and her bedtime got more normal. Don't know if this helps, but just wanted to let you know that I've been there - it sucks!
Louise

[LucySol]

Anna; Do you think thats what i need to do now? just go for it? wwyd?

Munzle;thanks for your post! its always good to hear of someone who has been there and come thru the other side! 5.30pm? i would be scared of an EW with that time!!
on the odd days she has done 1 nap i have put her to bed at 6.00 at the earliest.she has always done 12 hrs on 1 nap days. mmm,boy this is hard to figure out!

[munzle]

I know - I was scared of EW too but it did work for us. We still do it sometimes. Just coming out of OT cycle now so she was in bed by 5.50pm last night - slept until 6.50am.

[anna*]

I'd go for it Lucy. Nothing to lose, right?

[LucySol]

Right!!! it cant get any worse! thanx guys xx