10 month old suddenly started night waking - getting desperate now :(

[lilac83]

I think he's ready for more than 3hr A time after a 30min nap. Push him on to 3hr 15min for 2 days and then 3.5hr if he's still only doing 1hr/a bit over 1hr. We're aiming for 1.5hr for that PM nap for a total of 2hr day sleep. The UT could be keeping him OT. Either that or the UT is creating UT wakings at night, either way, increasing that A time should help.

Is he 11mos now? Almost 1yr? He's going to be getting very close to dropping that AM nap in the next 2mos or so as he doesn't seem like a high sleep needs kid.

[TashaW]

Oh dear, we either have a cold or are teething Snotty nose and completely bunged up. Tried putting him down at 2 yesterday to instant screaming, then again at 2.30 (by which time he was yawning and looking dreadful), again to instant screaming. I gave up and thought sleep in buggy is better than none so took him for a walk - he slept for an hour. After mammoth struggles to get to sleep last night he went down at about 7.45 and STTN with only one NW that required us, a couple more that were just him crying out in discomfort but resettling himself. He woke at 6.30 we think (so tired!).

This morning he started yawning at 9.30 in a big way so I started winding down at that point. Five yawns by the time I popped him in his cot. He's made no attempt to get to sleep on his own, just started sitting up and whining and crying. He's now bashing his cot and crying on and off.

What you're saying make sense Robin. I've always thought he doesn't need a huge amount of sleep during the day but I think we are definitely transitioning to one nap. What time of day is the ideal for this? He is just gone 11 months now.

Better go - he is getting increasingly stroppy. Think it might be buggy time again

[lilac83]

Oh dear, that's too bad that he seems to be getting sick again! Hopefully this will just be a runny nose type illness and he won't be too worse for the wear.

When transitioned to 1 nap, LO's need to be able to go 4.5/5hrs before nap and 4.5/5hrs after nap. So with a 7am waking that would place nap at 11:30/12:00 and bedtime at 6:30/7:00. This is the point where the 12+hr night really comes in handy. DD did quite a few 13hr nights when making the switch.

Do you think he's resisting nap because of his cold? Or that he's UT?

[TashaW]

He got sick again. We just got back from the hospital this afternoon after two nights and days there It seems he got another viral infection (bronchitus type thing) and he just couldn't breathe properly through it. They are now using the word asthma a lot even though it can't officially be diagnosed until he is 5. I noticed something not right about his breathing on Tuesday evening in the bath, and we called the ambulance around 11.30 after his inhaler from the previous hospital trip didn't relieve it enough and he was sick everywhere and shaking. So I think all nap resistance was hopefully, in a weird way, his infection.

Obviously in the hospital we had no routine whatsoever, and on Tuesday night/Wednesday day he had about 3 hours sleep in patches of 30 mins in total. Totally active the whole of the rest of the time - pulling his monitor tube off of his foot, trying to get rid of his oxygen mask from his neck, playing with all the toys that grandmas plural brought in etc... He was being woken for nebulisers every hour until Wednesday evening when they then stretched to 2 then 4 hours which at least gave us time to rock him back to sleep afterwards for an hour snooze. No way he could go down on his own - too many tubes, noise, stimulation etc... Th lovely kid in the next bed asked us what he ran on! Quite honestly he was completely OT, hyper and totally manic and awake most of the time (which meant we were too - zombies now!  ).

Home this afternoon and we put him to bed this evening and he cried/played/cried with one of us in the room "it's just sleep"ing... sob. We are back to square one it feels. Or maybe I should see it as an opportunity to get things back on a good path. Unfortunately though we are staying at mums again for a week, next week, because of painters being here and the fumes could affect DS's chest, so that will make things wonky.

I feel so sorry for this baby. He's had the worst couple of months and has a rubbish mum who didn't notice his transitioning from 2-1 nap until it had all gone very wrong for him. I can't help thinking that with a better routine, all of this wouldn't have felt so bad for him, more stability etc... Plus I convinced myself it was teeth again, when it wasn't. I'm not sure that I have a mother's instinct at all  

[lilac83]

Oh hun, I'm so sorry to hear that your LO got so sick again! I hope he's feeling much better soon and hopefully no more hospital stays for him. How scary that must have been for all of you!

In no way are you a rubbish mom! You obviously can't control whether or not he has asthma or how sick he gets. The 2-1 switch is bumpy at the best of times unless you have a total angel baby. Goodness knows I've had my fair share of short naps and OT baby! Since they can't verbalize what they need or how they feel, it's all just a guessing game for us moms.

Now that he's on the mend you can start doing some gradual withdraw to get him back to falling asleep on his own. The foundation is there so it shouldn't be too hard. I suggest gradual withdraw vs WI/WO simply due to him being so sick. He shouldn't get worked up whereas with WI/WO there can be a lot of crying at times. I'm going to ask another mod to pop on here to tell you how she did gradual withdraw with her LO. She did a lovely job!

Hang in there! You'll get a stable routine and independent sleeper back, no worries.

[A pair of Charlies]

Hi there 

I think I may be the other Mod 

I did GW with my DS to teach him independent sleep. We did GW over several months but that was really really gradual as he'd never got to sleep without me in the room or resettled. I did a 2 week GW effort at 10 months old and that worked a treat for us. He does regress every now and again when sick or nightmares, but usually clicks back into place really quickly using the same technique (takes a day or 2 tops now, and not much fuss).

The 2 week GW I did did involve crying but was better for me (and DS I hope) because I was there in the room with him to reassure and comfort. What's more, I could take it at our own pace a little without causing too many issues - for example, part way through GW DS got a stinky cold, so I just stalled where we'd got to, and picked up again when he was a little better.

I'll be back to post the plan for you later, okay. And if it sounds good to you, I can support you through it. 

Charlotte

[TashaW]

Hi Robin and Charlotte,

Thank you so much - I think I need all the hope and encouragement I can get at the moment! So very tired!

Today has been really difficult. He is completely hyper to be home and racing around like a mad thing showing no sleepy signs, cues, hunger cues or anything. Great that he's happy, but he really never slows down. He was the same in the hospital.

He did though STTN (thank goodness) and we woke him at 7.20 (slept through the alarm - oops) and tried to put him back down for a nap at 10.00 - he'd yawned twice but was still manic. Couldn't sit still through his book, was all over the place during his walk round the house that we do as a wind down, but was okay in his cot. Chatting to himself with a few cries. We thought he might just settle, but after hearing some weird noises an bigger cries, we went to check and he had managed to unwind the bolt that his cot is put together with, completely and throw it over the side? We have no toys in his cot as they would just distract him from sleep and had to remove his bumper as he would untie it and try to sleep under it but it's crazy that he can still find something else to fiddle with. DP packed him off in the buggy for a walk/nap while I cleaned manically as we have in-laws coming tomorrow and left the house in a state on Tuesday for the hospital.

Anyway, same thing happened at second nap (minus the bolt thing though we did hear him trying. Good luck DS - it is wound very, very tight now) and same thing happening now at bedtime. DP is settling him, but it's as if he has completely forgotten how to sleep, completely forgotten our very consistent and dull wind-down and developed these flapping, grabbing arms that are out of control. Doesn't help that he has to have inhaler that DP reckons is a stimulant taht just keeps him even more hyper.

Very looking forward to putting GW into action and getting him back to normal and on a better routine.

Thank you so, so much for the support.

tasha xx

[lilac83]

How have things been the last few days?

[TashaW]

Hi there,

A little bit mixed. Yesterday he managed to go down for his first nap fine. DP put him down around 10.10 and said that he was falling asleep as he did so. He woke after 40 mins. The second nap he was definitely tired, tried putting him down at 2.30 but he was extremely hyper as in-laws were in his face right until he went upstairs. He played in his cot, did a poo and carried on playing for about 45 mins until DP and in-laws took him out for a walk (I stayed in as a delivery was coming). Again they were playing with him etc... and he got about 30 mins. He struggled to go down to bed, crying before I had left the room. Settled with a hand on tummy for ages (he plays and talks during this and picks at our fingers). We had a LONG nw last night I guess as a result 3.50-5.10. He wasn't particularly unhappy, just crying out and playing. We were in and out trying to settle with a hand on his tummy. He was definitely tired and trying to go to sleep once or twice, but the rest of the time playing? We woke him at 7.20 - slept through the alarm!

Today has been similar. First nap in buggy while shopping from 10.45 - 11.15 then put him down for his second nap at 2.30 and he went straight off but only for 30 mins? Tried to extend it in buggy but to no avail. Moved bedtime forward and he was asleep by 7pm but needed us to settle him again. I'm wondering if maybe our wind down might need tweaking as he is getting a bit older.

So frustrating as we have decorators coming tomorrow so he'll be disrupted by that and we'll probably move to mum and dad's house for a while to get him away from fumes and dust which will unsettle him again. He is still a bit poorly (congested chest, runny nose and cough) but otherwise, so happy! But also very active and hyper!

Any thought gratefully appreciated. This week has been tough and we're both a little knackered!

Thank you,

Tasha

[A pair of Charlies]

YEYYYYY!!!!! I've found the thread at last! Was off for a week sick and couldn't remember where this thread was! So sorry.

DH needs laptop, but I'll be back tomorrow with GW plan that I did. Hope you're okay?

Charlotte

[TashaW]

Thanks Charlotte!

We're okay! Sorry to hear that you've been sick though. Hope you are better now - there are so many yucky things doing the rounds at the moment.

Staying at my mum and dad's house at the moment so routine is a bit higgeldy piggeldy. We think that some of his night wakings may have been due to him getting chilly at night though His arms, although in a sleep suit, aren't covered in his grow bag thing so we've been thinking that they might be getting cold. He was sleeping a little better at home with the heating going on at 2 in anticipation of his night wakings around 3/4 ish and my dad (after a lot of persuading) has been putting the heating on here at 1 in anticipation of some earlier night wakings we've had. It's not particularly cold here in South East London, but the last three nights he has STTN so maybe that has something to do with it?

We think we might be teething though. He keeps prodding his top gum and there was a truly funky nappy this morning - shocking! Not too runny a nose, but keeping an eye on him. He is definitely due - he's only got two bottom ones.

We swapped his nighttime routine round a bit from bath, meds, bf/bottle, book, bed  to  bath, book, meds, bf/bottle, bed as he's always sleepy after his bottle and I think his book was just waking him up. Mixed success as he gets very whiny now during his book - anxious for his bottle, but I would say 2 out of 3 times is just going straight off to sleep when we put him down.

Naps are still rubbish. AM one is usually between 10 - 10.30, averaging at 10.10 and PM nap (for up to 30 - 45 mins), I've been putting him down by 2.30 and then getting a 30 minute nap which is rubbish and he wakes up absolutely distraught. I can't extend his nap in the cot - he just sobs and sobs... so I take him for a walk and sometimes he drops off again at about 3.50 for another half hour. I don't know whether this has improved his nights on these occasions as it seems it sometimes does and sometimes doesn't. Sigh! He is always in bed by 7 - normally 7 on the dot. Waking sometime between 6 and 7, but we don't go to him until 7.

Does any of this info help? Should I be keeping the AM nap to 35 mins?

Thanks so much for your help!

[KathrynK]

Hi Tasha
just a thought on him being cold- this used to happen with Sophie when she was little. At this time of year I always put a long sleeved vest on under the sleepsuit- helps the arms stay a bit warmer
hth x

[TashaW]

Thanks - am hunting a long sleeved vest out actually as the only ones we have, have little hoods on also. Great idea - thank you! Saves on the heating bill too!

Tasha x

[KathrynK]

Mothercare or John Lewis - I always get mine from them 

[A pair of Charlies]

I find that a long sleeved tshirt works too. Last winter (DS was 8-11 months) I tackled the chills in the dead of night with a oil radiator that just plugs into the wall socket. It had a timer, a couple of different setttings (half or full) and then the temp settings too. So we had that set to come on just as the heating went off at night to keep his room at a consistent temp all night.

Worked well. Especially once he was an independent sleeper!

Let me know if you want the GW plan and I'll get digging. 

Charlotte