27 monthd not napping, what should his new bedtime be?

[leosmommy]

Hi everyone! 

Just looking for some advice here!  My toddler is 27 months old and he hasn't had a real nap in about a week now.  He used to nap beautifully for hours, and boom, now nothing! He desperately needs the nap ( he is up at 6:45am) and cannot cope until 8pm when it is his bed time. 

He is just miserable to be around without the sleep, has tantrums, crying on the floor... etc.  I put him in his room for naptime anyway hoping he will just give in and sleep but he just throws things around yelling don't , and such, or playing....definity not sleeping. 

Just wondering what time I should change his bedtime too if he is not going to nap anymore?  Or should I keep persisting and try and make him nap?  I'm tired of dealing wth this behavior as I am 32 weeks pregnant and just don't have the patience for it these days with the way I am feeling. 

btw: I take him outside to play in the mornings as well, he runs,we go to parks, we go to the mall and shop so it's not because he hasn't run around enough and just isn't tired iykwim..... hope someone can help!!!

[Mama2boys]

Hi we have a very similra situation and since yesterdya DS has refused naps. He is also up between 6/6:45.

I ha dto put him in bed at 7 lats night (6:15 wake-up) as he was totally exhuasted and having a meltdown and today (6:45 wake-up) will also try for a 7pm in bed so he will get at least 11.5 hrs of sleep or so during the night.

HTH

[becky1969]

What time are you offering the nap?

My son had EXACTLY the same problem at 27 months! He was always an AWESOME napper and then suddenly he was fighting nap every day! I was so worried and upset.  But then one day I accidentally put him down for nap an hour later than normal due to running around with errands. Voila! He slept for 2 hours again! Turned out he just needed more A time before nap.  Strangely enough he kept the same bedtime!

Try a later nap and see if that helps.  He may be UT at nap time so really plays up.  Then he plays past his sleep window and can't fall asleep.  One thing about this age is they REALLY know how to play, LOL! So if he's not tired when you take him up for nap he's going to get really wound up, whereas a younger child might calmly hang out until they get sleepy.

Post your old routine and we can talk about it! In the meantime a VERY early bedtime is the key -- 6 pm for instance.

[leosmommy]

his current schedule looks like this:

6:45 wake
7:15 0r 730 breakfast
730-800 watches a show while he eats breakfast
800-11:30- activities, mostly playing outside for 1 1/2 ish, errands, cleaning with me etc.
11:45 - lunch
12:45 nap (used to fall asleep around 1 15 and sleep until 3-330 even sometimes 4.
aafter nap we have snack and more playtime, outside or in house dep on the day.
bed at 800 pm.  Goes to sleep within about 10 mins.

yesterday i tried putting him down for a nap at 1:30, but i couldn't find his soother (he is addicted) so he didn't nap at all... today he was looking very tired around 12:45, holding blanket and soother just sitting, so i put him to bed... it's 1:10 but i can hear him playing quietly........

[becky1969]

Where is he with his 2 yr molars?

[leosmommy]

umm.. i'm not sure exactly.... he has some big guys at the back there, but i'm not sure if those are them or not!!!

[leosmommy]

I've been thinking and I'm doubting it's the molar thing.  He's never really had a hard time with any teeth coming in , and he doesn't show any signs of pain or discomfort , red cheeks, hands in mouth, nothing.... so I think it's safe to rule that out.  The part I can't figure out is NOTHING has changed!  We havn't moved recently.. ( we will be in 6 weeks, but i havn't packed anything yet), baby isn't due for another 2 months, so it's still just the two of us all day.... we do the same routine before his naptimes... so i'm just at a loss!  It's so frustrating!  The only thing I can think of is that he has too much in his room in terms of things to do and explore... toys, drawers etc.  I have no wehre else i can put his toys for now, ( at the new house he will have his toys in the play room) and most of them are all in the closet (doors closed) and in bins.  Is it possible that he is tired, but can't fall asleep cause he feels there is so much to do in there?  I always hear him playing before he falls asleep, and sometimes he falls asleep on the floor witht he toys all aorund him... so i know he just was too tired to keep playing.  My sister in law suggested to me to put hm in the car at his sleep time ( he will fall asleep in the car if he's really tired) and lelt him sleep in the car for an hour or so.  SHe said do it for three days to get him napping again at the same time, then try on the 4th day putting him in his bed at that same time... i don't know... i don't want him getting used to the car to make him fall asleep...

It's been a week now with no day naps and he is not coping well, i'm so scared that he is going to be chronically tired and a whole bunch of new issues will pop up due to this.  Thanks again to all who had/have advice for me!!!

[becky1969]

It does sound like the toys are an issue.  And now that he hasn't been napping he's probably also really OT. 

I might experiment with putting him down extra early for nap -- like 12:00 -- to help him catch up.  You might also sit in his room to help him wind down more after he's in bed, just to ensure he's not going to play.  Perhaps you can start a new wind down routine where you sing to him or tell him a story right before you leave the room with you sitting next to him on a chair while he lays in bed.

He's also old enough you can do a reward chart -- he gets a sticker for each sleep period he stays in his bed without playing.  After 2-3 stickers he gets a bigger reward like a Matchbox car.  I think the RC is worth a try.  That's how I've been modifying my son's sleeping behavior since he was around 2 and it works super quickly -- stickers alone are enough to motivate him and the sight of a new car? Holy cow that kid will do ANYTHING for that, including braving bugs (he used to scream for me every time a bug was in his room; after we did a RC for it he just learned to love the bugs  ). 

Try those 2 things and let me know if you see any new improvement.  I know for instance that my son got a little car catalog the other day and asked if he could look at it before nap time.  I said sure, thinking it wasn't a big deal.  Guess what? No nap that day.  Like an idiot, I let him do it before bed that night too (not realizing that it was the cause of th eno nap) and again we had trouble -- 1.5 hours to fall asleep!!!! So I think the toys in his room -- esp. if it didn't used to be that way -- is enough to keep a 2 yr old from falling asleep.

[leosmommy]

thanks for the suggestions... i will try the reward chart, i was hesitant to try it up until now becuase I didn't know if he was too young for it yet... it would be great if it worked...
do i show him the little car or something first and tell him it takes 3 stars/sleeps in his bed to get it? or does it just appear after the 3rd star as a suprise kind of thing?

[becky1969]

Show it in advance.  In fact I found with my son that the RC only worked if I physically showed him the chart AND the sticker right before wind down.  Just talking about earning a sticker was too ambiguous for him -- he needed to SEE what the reward would be!  And yes, show him the car too.  I think I'd give it to him after 2 stickers at first, and then slowly make it worth more stickers over time.  You want them to get a prize right away.  Balloons make a good prize too!