Getting just sooooo picky.

[*Liz*]

Jacob has always been the most dreadful eater - he was hard to wean due to reflux and has always had quite a small range of foods. I still make new things and try new things but he rarely accepts anything.

He used to eat a mixture of mashed food and finger foods, but this week he has started refusing all spoons apart from wheetabix or yoghurt. Seems to have come out of nowhere, and is refusing all his favourites. I've tried lumpy and softer in case his gums are hurting but it has made no difference.


So his range of foods has just halfed and I am really struggling with protein and vegetables. He has always refused to eat plain steamed veggies, and has always been funny about things that he can squash in his hands. He will squash and fling rather than eat.

So all he has eaten all week is
Wheetabix/ cheerios/ shreddies
Toast or Raisin Bread
Mini sandwiches with cream cheese (and one with ham but I think that was an accident  usually he removes the ham and eats the bread)
Cheese scones
Crackers
Banana
Raisins
Yoghurt
Potato wedges or smiley faces

That is it  . It is just dreadful. I am just so upset. I know a lot of children go through this phase but he was very limited anyway, so this is just dreadful. I mean - no meat or veggies at all  .

He doesn't drink much milk either - usually 6oz am and 8oz pm. He only has the 2 bottles now, and TBH it is often a lot less than that. He has water with his meals and juice at snack time - but only has about 2-3oz of each in a day. So I don't think he is filling up on liquids.

Ugh.

Help!!

[Mashi]

Liz we went through this at one, and it faded away for a while only to have returned.  It's a nightmare isn't it?  I have done and tried so many different things, some with different amounts of success.  (My DS is also a 'squisher' 

A couple of things that have worked for us over the past few months (cheating because I am pasting them from another thread where I have posted this!):
--
I praise and cheer and clap when DS puts something in his mouth that he has never tried or previously rejected. Don't care if he takes it out or not, it's that he tried it that I tell him was good.  And he gets a big thanks if he hands it to me rather than throw it!

Another thing that has been working REALLY well is taking the food that he likes and really wants (usually bread) and offer him a small piece, but tell him that he has to eat something else first to get it. So I may have a tiny piece (one bite) of bread in my hand, and a spoon of his meal (say a bite of meat or pasta) and show him the bread, and then say "Ah ah, you have to eat this one first!" and he opens his mouth wide and takes it and then grabs that piece of bread as fast as he can.  After a few bites he just opens his mouth for the meal part and takes it without being told, but still grabs his bread. Tonight, he saw a piece of bread on the table within reach, picked it up, went to put it in his mouth but stopped and turned to me with his mouth open for his pasta before he ate the bread!  We have done many meals this way!  I'm not sure if it's "right" or not, but we never force him, never make him eat, the choice is always his and I justify it as an early start at teaching him a balanced meal - you can't just eat all bread all day every day, you gotta eat some other stuff too!

A word of warning though - this only happened once, but!
A few days ago he was so proud of himself using his spoon, putting his dinner in his own mouth (me helping hold the spoon and guide him) and then clapping after every bite, that he just kept taking bite after bite after bite. Clapping, cheering, oh so proud of himself.  Then stopped, looked very serious, looked at me, then at DH, then at me, and reached into his mouth and pulled it aaaaaaaaallllllllll out!  Had been stocking it up in there the whole time!  Hahah!! Little stinker!!!
--
We don't have milk problems but we do have huge meat problems.  When he does eat meat, it's either salami or sausage.  Both of which I was totally against even letting him TRY until we moved to Germany.  Now, I'm actually thrilled if he eats 1/2 a sausage once a week because at least there is some form of meat in it. 

I have found that it really is a control thing in a lot of ways with DS.  Today I gave him a tuna sandwich for lunch and he was SO ANGRY that he threw the rest of his lunch on the floor - including the bits that he liked and was happily enjoying before he tasted the tuna.  So, I got him out of his chair, sent him off to play, and the grand total of his lunch was four peas.  Thought he would make up for it at dinner, but he wasn't happy with dinner either, had a lick of salami, squeezed some potato wedges, threw a cupful of peas and chugged a sippy of water.  I got him out of his chair and sent him off to play. Generally the way this works is that I could offer him anything in the world for breakfast tomorrow and he'll be so hungry he'll eat it all.  We go through this every few days.  I try not to get angry at the throwing food and try not to react, some days it's harder than others....

((Hugs))

[*Liz*]

Ugh - sorry your DS is being a bit of a pest as well. I've actually got very good at the 'not reacting thing' over the last few months. I think you get to the point where you honestly don't care what they do with it - or even if you do - there are just no suprises left.

J is taking one spoonful of his dinner, eating it, and then just shaking his head and refusing to have anymore. Defiant bugger has learnt how to say No!!

LOL about the hamster mouth of food. J does that sometimes. I'm telling myself it is just when he has overfilled - but that might be an optimistic slant.

I'm not sure if j will go for the bread trick but I will def try it. If he gets really cross with me for not giving me what I want he just throws his head back and SCREAMS at me. Not crying - just screaming at the top of his lungs  .

It is that flippin' bread here as well  .

((hugs)) to you too 

[annette.xx]

watched a program with picky eaters...

they got the toddler to feed you the foods...so put fruits meats veggies on tray and if they pick it up take a bite and make it a game..dont try and feed them any...it may take a while but soon they start putting it to their mouths and may too take a bite!...after a few days of no pressure you let them feed you a bit then you say your turn and feed them a bit!

Also my LO is only 7.5 months and I wanted lumpy food introduced early on so she didnt reject it too much so used a tip to paste food like veggies on toast soldiers and let them pick them up and suck them...dont give them plain toast with it just the toast they love to eat with some yummy veg or meat spead ontop...you can also use the toast as a spoon to spoon food in!

or another tip was put a bowl of food for example tuna pasta and just let them put their hands in the bowl and explore and play with it...eventually they start experimenting with eating it!!

also I have had huge success with adding ellas kitchen pureed fruit into her milk ...did this to get her to accept milk in sippy and she now has plain milk!!...the peaches and banana is her favourite...she absolutely loved it...she went from not wanting any milk or fruit to loving the stuff...could work for you to get fruit in him!! its so smooth its like a drink...you can also let him drink it straight from the pouches for a bit of fun!! the veg ones are brill too...if she refuses to eat veg I put it in a little cup and let her sip it from beaker like a soup...she loves this!!!

HTH!!

Annette.xx

[*Liz*]

How old were the children in the program?

I see the feeding team with J due to food aversion during weaning as a result of reflux and they always want lots of food play. Trust me - J does PLENTY of that!! But even after having soft fruits on his tray for months he still doesn't eat any of them.

He will wait for toast. I've tried to spread thing, and he will fling it on the floor if he doesn't like the topping. He wants pure toast.

And I always let J feed me and never try and put finger foods in his mouth. I genuinely do not do this. I just leave him too it.

I don't know - it is kind of more worrying that I do 'all the right things' but it doesn't help.

Oh and shop brough puree - forget it. He HATES it. Has always refused it. I think he finds the fruit too sweet and rejects the texture of the veggies but I obviously can't be sure.

I am having some success with drinking fruit smoothie out of a straw, so hopefully that will help the fruit issue.

Sigh. He really is an opinionated tricky little man. I guess that is spirited for you  .

[Mashi]

He will wait for toast. I've tried to spread thing, and he will fling it on the floor if he doesn't like the topping. He wants pure toast.

Yep. Same. Makes me wonder who taught this little guy that he was allowed an opinion at this age. 

[charmie]

I have a picky eater on my hands too pffff.  She wasn't picky at all until she turned 1.  From that day onwards she started refusing all her favourites and non favourites too.  She used to polish everything.  And she used to eat a mini portion of whatever we were eating.

Now her favourite is pasta (and not any kind of pasta mind you...just farfalle and penne~sigh~).  So veggies, fish, chicken and what not goes into the pasta sauce, and she'll have it that way.  She likes couscous too, so I try to hide food in it too.  In the meantime I still keep trying to offer the food she doesn't want overtly too.  She likes fish cakes and fish fingers, pitta bread with hoummous, cheese, sandwiches, chips, that's pretty much it.  The only fruit she'll have are berries and I halve them, dip them into yogurt and stuff it into her mouth while she's watching tv.  I'm getting tired just by writing about it.  Milk is not an issue.  She'd have milk all the time if she could.  However we do milk with meals and I think that helps.  if she doesn't finish her milk with meals she gets to finish it with her snack.  Water at any other time.  Nothing else except for some orange juice occasionally eg at a picnic.

About a month ago I was letting her feed me, and she opens her mouth so that I open mine.  And I tried to give her a small piece of fish that I was eating and she had it.  And she went 'mmmm, yam yam!'.  She had quite a bit of it.  And the following day....back to being a pain in the food department.

 

[annette.xx]

hes still eating tho so thats the main thing!!...its so hard not to panic isnt it but they just get it in their own time!!

the bubs on the program ranged from 1 to about 3 I think...some had major issues that took a while to resolve (way more problems as not eating at all!!!! just yogurts all day for one kid!!!) I think the psychologists thoughts were as long as they are eating a few different foods it was normal and eventually they one day just do it!!...

have you ever tried the ellas kitchen brocolli pear and pea pouch...its amazing! its sweet enough so not yucky brocolli tasting but the veg takes edge off sweetness so babies love it!!...you could try using it as a little squirt into his mouth straight from pouch tube...something totally new and fun for him...you never know!!

my LO hates all veg and savouries apart from ellas kitchen...they have no texture just look like a smoothie...

she also has reflux and everytime she is sick after eating solid lumpier food she starts getting really angry with it so I just dont give it for a few days!!!

sounds like you are well in control of it tho and honestly even tho it feels like it I dont think its a major problem seems quite normal and as long as hes happy and not just eating yogurts then its A ok!!!!!!!!!

You seem like such a wonderful mummy...thats all he needs!

Annette.xx

[*Liz*]

Thanks Annette - but with J being that bit older I think I will need a bit of a different slant.

He has never taken stage 1 foods - with his reflux he actually prefers thicker/ solid food. He was eating mashed food at 6 mths and has always rejected proper puree.

I think this is all about him expressing a preference and trying to exert control over things. It isn't that he can't eat - it is that he WANTS bread and if he can't have it he just won't bother.

Broccoli, pear and pea sounds just yuck! I did once try pear and carrot when he was young and he HATED it. Would eat either seperately but doesn't do sweet/ savoury. Actually he is quite happy with strong savoury flavours. Eats beef casserole etc (or used to before this started  )

I guess all I can do is offer a balanced meal and leave him too it.

I worry as I am always in trouble off the HV and hospital for poor weight gain. J is tiny - 0.4th centile - often loses. I haven't weighed him in 2 months as I just can't face it anymore, but my mum has had to put some tighter elastic in his 6-9 mth trousers to stop them falling down  . He'll be like a beanpole when he starts walking. There is no fat on him anyway - no baby chubbiness left at all.

The thing is the only thing he is eating is yoghurts and bread, a few raisins and banana chunks.

All I can do is keep offering  .

[koe2moe]

Hugzz to you all.  I would dread when this happens to DS!!!  I know it will happen and I'm trying to be prepared.

Hey Mashi, was your DS a good eater before this phase? 

SIL told me that her DS is also picky and he's 4.5yo.  He would eat only beans one night but no rice, and then only rice but no beans the next.  Completely random and she's very frustrated. 

Have you tried starving them?   I know it's hard to do.  I keep saying it's just one big detective mystery unfolding every page everyday!!

[*Liz*]

I only offer food at his mealtimes - but I do always offer something that he will eat at every meal. Otherwise all he will do is hold out of bigger bottles of milk later.

I do put things he often doesn't eat on his tray when he is hungry and I am still making his meal. Sometimes that helps and he eats some of it before he gets his proper meal. Other times he sits there are screams pointing at the bread bin/ toaster or fridge.

And I only make him one meal - it is up to him of he eats it or not. But I do make sure there is something I know he will eat.

Charmie - I'm hoping I can get him to eat pasta. At least you can put some nice things in the sauce. And I guess that is the thing really - it IS tiring. DH watched DS this weekend as I had to work, and said how much he had enjoyed spending time with him, apart from mealtimes, which were just so infuriating.

[Mashi]

koe2moe, before about 10/11 months or so, my DS ate anything and everything.  world's greatest eater. sigh.

Liz, a few things pop into mind, but before I start waffling offf, need to give you some hugs.  ((((((( ))))))))))  Pooh to your HV, it's not her role to be stern with you on J's weight gain.  Does she realise that you are a doctor and not someone who doesn't have a CLUE?    I mean, save the lectures for someone who is not concerned about their LO's weight gain, IMO.

We did also go through the weight gain problems - DS was born on the 2nd centile and when we got him onto hypoallergenic formula he manged to work his way up to the 12th at one point.  So subsequent dropping to the 4th, 2nd, and so on was met quite sternly.  He's never had any baby fat, never at all.  One of the nurses at the hospital once said to me, "Ohh I love the little chubby wrists that babies have..." and then looked when she looked at his wrists and not a trace of any sort of fat at all.  This was when he was about 6.5 months - no baby fat.  At his 11 month appt with the paed GI who was managing his milk allergy, he told me that at this age he stopped being overly concerned about weight gain/loss, unless it seemed to be causing him other problems or if the weight loss was caused by a "medical problem" rather than an eating issue.  He said that the best way of judging overall health in a one year old is on activity level - is he active, is he happy, are his eyes bright and skin clear, and are his ribs NOT poking out of the skin on his chest (we barely passed that one, to be honest  ) If he's active and happy, then he's eating enough, let him be.  It was hard to swallow (pun intended  ) but I've just had to live with it and get on with it.

DS also holds out for anything bready.  Will attempt to climb up on the kitchen counter to look for bread, throws himself down on the floor flailing arms and legs if he doesn't get it. Sits in his highchair and points and screeeeeeeeeeches this high pitched whiney screech to get it.  This is where we have started the "ahh ahhh you can't have the bread unless you take a bite of this one..." but many many many a meal have been nothing but bread.

We have only JUST gotten him to eat pasta the past couple of weeks. And it's limited, he will do a few bites and that's it. Again, I just cheer and praise, clap hands, tell him to clap his hands, and so on when he does eat it.  Rice.....maybe twice have I managed?  Meat is near impossible, in any form.  Fruit we have no problems with, but veggies are also extremely limited.  So, we have bread, cheerios, apples, kiwi, oranges, bananas, pears, blueberries, raisins and teething biscuits.  I think that's about it most weeks.  I am trying to introduce all different kinds of bread so that at least he is still getting variety - fortunately in Germany different types of bread is not a problem - light rye, dark rye, black bread, oat bread, etc etc etc.  Some he likes, others he throws.

I agree with you that it is a control issue, Liz.  I want what I want what I want. And that's it.  You can't make me (but go on and try it, and then see how much you like cleaning the kitchen floor!) I try soooooooooo hard to not let it get me down but there are some nights at dinner when I end up sobbing at the table.   

The only other thing I can blame it on is teeth. 

More hugs Liz. If I come up with anything else that gets us ahead a bit here, I'll let you know.

[*Liz*]

Thanks Mash - our situations seem so very similar. I think it might be one of the downsides of the spirited lo!!

He is bright (I think  ) and just knows what he wants. Hilarious at my parents house this morning. After a bad eating day yesterday he was just starving today. Breakfast is his favourite meal - most likely because I allow toast  . I took him to my mum early as he was whining and I knew he needed an early breakfast. I did give him a dried apple ring to eat in the car -  and he had a few bites. He was mooching around the kitchen for a few and then crawled off down the corridor screeching and yelling. Wanted Grandpop who he had heard coming down the stairs. Wanted him as he knew he would be about to have breakfast. My Dad picked him up and he pointed to the cupboard with shreddies in and the toster. Went nuts when put back on the floor  and tried to climb up Dads leg to get to the worksurface. Only when he got on my Dads knee with his little hand in the bowl of shreddies was he happy. I tried to give him some banana - flung it. Then ate a whole slice of fruit toast. He KNOWS what he wants!!

Different breads is a good suggestion. I guess we are just both stuck with endless rounds of sandwiches for now.

My HV knows my background - but I think she just goes on autopilot. Something like bla bla bla bla bla. Protein bla, veggies bla bla, more calories etc. And she always finishes it with saying 'but of course you know all that'. Grrrr. Interesting what your GI paed says. Mine is a little concerned about the centile slipping -  but does say there is nothing seriously wrong. Which I know. He is just a stubborn little man who is slowly outgrowing MPI and reflux. J has the rib cage thing as well TBH - you can clearly see them as he is crawling along.

(((hugs))) Mashi. If I find a way out of this I will let you know as well.

 

[Mashi]

Was sitting here brainstorming other ideas, so was happy to see your post.  I really DO think our boys are similar (always bumping into you on posts, must be more than coincidence!) 

For us, I think that the MSPI had a lot to do with it.  From about 9ish months when he was REALLY aware of food and wanting to try new things, a bite of mommy's etc, he couldn't.  Learned to then say no to other things because I wouldn't let him try mine.  I then lost a lot of weight because I tried to only eat things that HE could eat when I was eating in front of him, or stuff a biscuit in my mouth quickly behind his back 

But, cause is not the concern right now, solutions are!! 

Fat boosting ideas.... I am not sure what point you are at in your milk introduction? But, have you tried Philadephia cream cheese? Fatty, mild taste, goes over well with LOs.  I smear it on anything and DS will at least try it. Often only to lick the cream cheese off, but he manages to get crumbs of the offending item down I suspect.    I mix the tiniest bits of cooked salmon in it and one out of four times he'll eat it.  We go through a tub of it every 3 days I suspect.   I fry his food in olive oil - the ONLY way I can get him to eat meat is the famous sausage recipe, so I fry those in olive oil for extra fat.  Other fatty things he likes are muffins - not english muffins that you have at breakfast but muffin-muffins, liked baked cakey ones. I do up some healthy banana ones and justify the sugar in them with the fact that there are also eggs in there  And again, although it's bready and so he likes it, it's swaying him away from sliced bread and encouraging new things.

I've started making rice pudding - again, not that he NEEDS the extra carbs from the rice, but aiming to slowly cut down the milk in it so it is rice-ier and get him into rice.   I often mix tiny bits of veg in it and he doesn't notice the odd pea or carrot    I started making it with his Nutramigen but now use milk - not sure what J drinks? 

Any chance he will do french toast/eggy bread?  It was a good one here for about two weeks and then started getting flung at the walls as well.  But may be something to try.   For some reason mine won't eat pancakes, which baffles me

A couple of weeks I got by with adding coconut milk to his fruit - a few tinned mango slices, a few spoonfuls of coconut milk added and he loved it. Again, for fat boosting, rather than something "new".  But, we couldn't get through a tin of coconut milk before it went off, it doesn't freeze well, and I got sick of dumping 2/3 of a tin every week and buying a new one. So we stopped.

Sigh. He's waking - first day on one nap and it's not gone too badly (1145 - 200, with a 15 minute wake at 1 when I had to rock him, so I shan't complain...)  Which means snack time.  Beware of the flying peas.  Sigh.

[MLK]

If you want to use up coconut milk, it makes a really yummy smoothie with added fruit. Lots of extra calories, esp if you add yoghurt too.  I give it to DS in a straw cup cos it's a bit thinck for a sippy. Or you can add it to puddings etc whenever milk is needed. I use several cans a week because we are still doing MSPI here, sigh!