Hey, no problem
I'm just happy to actually be in a position to help for once
It sounds like you are EXACTLY where I was about 3 weeks ago. Short naps are absolutely horrible!!!
I forgot to ask: is Tanner BF, formula fed, both? If he's either of the last two, chances are his body is metabolically ready to go to a 4h EASY. If he's only BF, do you know if he can last 4 hours in between feeds during the day?
Okay, assuming that Tanner can last 4 hours regardless of his feeding method, let's break his sleep and A times down:
Total sleep for the day (wake up time to wake up time): 13 5/6 hours (I assumed ~25 minutes for the 2:25 am feed)
Total awake time for the day: 10 1/6 hours
But, that's no surprise as we know your LO is on an OT cycle...it's still good to see the actual amounts, though
Based on everything, I would say that first, you need to get him away from the 3h EASY as much as possible. His A times are great...like you said, though, it's the naps. I would just go ahead and stick to the 3.5h routine times for about 3 days--it's not that he developmentally can't handle the A times...he just can't transition between sleep cycles, right?? When you say that you can't get past the 3 hour routine, is it because he is fussy for a feed after a bad nap? That's how I found Aaron to be, but he really was only acting so hungry because he wasn't sleeping...he wanted the food to comfort himself. Since I knew he could last longer between feedings than he was letting on, I stayed with him in his room until the next feeding time. In Tracy's book "The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems" she says that this 3-4h EASY transition is one of the only times she advocates clock watching. So, I say, really watch the clock around nap time (it sounds like your reading his initial sleepy cues well). Let him get a feel for the longer nap times by keeping him in his room. I see you have another LO, so I'm not sure how practical that might be for you.
Secondly, the naps. I see that he has a 35/45 minute nap combo quite frequently...have you tried holding through the jolts? To get Aaron through his sleep cycle transitions, we do that, plus shield his eyes from the light. I go into his room at the 30 minute mark and start holding. At first, he would wake up at either the 35 minute mark or the 45 minute mark and I would spend about 30 minutes doing shh/pat with him. But eventually, he woke up less and less, though I still have to hold him and shield his eyes. Also, how dark is your LO's room? I found that when I made Aaron's room SUPER dark, plus added a fan for some white noise, it helped a lot, too.
I know you said that shh/pat doesn't work for Tanner. I completely understand that! It no longer works for Aaron, so we've gone to PU/PD. It's been tough, but it has helped us--and him--tremendously. He still cries, but he settles much faster with it than with shh/pat. Just wondering if you've tried this?? It just sounds like the paci is becoming a prop, both at nap time and during the night. Our prop is the swaddle (ugh!).
Lastly, re: the NWs. I'm not sure what to do about those, really. As limited as my advice is, I'd say to try to work on the daytime first and see how that affects the nights. It might be that he really is hungry if he's BF.
Sooo...I hope that made sense, and at least gave you a little bit to go on in helping your LO get to the 4h EASY. I'm not infallible, so others might see something else that I missed.
Oh, I know exactly which thread you're talking about with the transition times...I must admit, it didn't work for me. Aaron need much larger jumps than 5 minutes, so we went with that. It was hard, but one day, voilà, I found myself with a 4 mo who was on a 4h EASY routine. This transition stinks--plain. ol'. stinks. But stick with getting those naps to last longer and I promise you, within a week or two, you'll be on a 4h EASY.
