Why does the dreamfeed not work for us?

[elf]

I did the df with dd and it worked beautifully with her sleeping from 7pm - 7am (with df) at 7 weeks!  Now I'm not expecting ds who is 6 weeks old to be sleeping through like that as dd was a great angel sleeper from birth.  I did the df with ds from week one but stopped it after a few weeks as he was waking at midnight.  When I stopped the df he slept from 7pm - 12am then woke again around 4am.  Over the past few weeks I keep trying it as an experiment but it does not work.  I tried it again last night (after not doing it for a few weeks)  at 10.30pm with a bottle and he drank heaps only to wake at 12.30am then, 2.30am, 4.50am then up at 6am.  Where as the previous few weeks he was feeding at 12am and 4am only.  It seems as though the df disrupts his deep sleep then he wakes and snacks through the night.  I will not do the df tonight and just wait for him to wake - 2 night feeds is so much better.  Does anyone have any experience with not doing the dreamfeed?  If you don't do it, does the two night feeds slowly become one feed and then do you have to keep up this night feed until solids?  I wish the df worked but from day 1 of ds's life he has been great at going to sleep at 7pm, and managed to do a 6 hour stint (feed at 6pm - 12am) from about 3/4 weeks old.  Just wish he could do that 6 hour stint from 10.30pm - 4.30am like dd did...  Oh well, any advice or sharing of experiences would be greatly appreciated...  Thanks

[huntersmummyinoz]

what time is the bedtime feed? tracy suggested that a df closer to 10pm is less disruptive to their night sleep. would that be around 3hrs after bedtime feed, would that work for you? it certainly worked better being earlier for my LO as closer to 11pm meant more nw. i'd also suggest that if you are going to try it, then give it a good few days (3-5, sometimes it takes a week) to establish whether or not it is working, as with a one off try he may just wake at old times out of habit.

hopefully some mummies with experience not doing a df will pop on to help out too

[elf]

His routine since birth has been bath at around 5.40pm and bedtime feed at 6pm, asleep at 7pm.  I don't cluster feed and his catnap is between 4.15pm ish - 5.15pm...  Don't know if that info helps? 

[huntersmummyinoz]

i'd definitely try a 10pm df for a few days then and see if that helps. are you bf or bottle for the df?

[*Liz*]

I never did a DF as I found it disrupted his night sleep. He was too sleepy to take a full feed, then took forever to wind, and then woke at 1am anyway. Whereas if I left him be he slept until 1am.

He very slowly pushed all of his feeds back and out of the night period so I did end up with one night feed for AGES.

So I would say perhaps try the DF again as Kirry suggested and see if you lo can settle into it.

[mylittlelovelies]

hi there,
i was just browsing this post and wondered if someone could clarify why a 10pm dream feed is better than a later one at 11ish? I have been giving an 11pm feed thinking its better to leave it as late as possible, but i'd rather give a 10pm one as then i could just stay up till then and go to bed after. At the moment i'm going to sleep and setting an alarm for 11pm. My DD is 17 weeks. Her last feed is usually around 6:30 ish sometimes a bit later. When i do the 11pm feed she usually has another feed at 4ish, sometimes a bit later, but it depends. There are other NWs too but the paci works for those. Love some clarification. Sorry for crashing this post!
Jessie

[elf]

I didn't do df last night and he woke at 12.30am and took a full feed.  He then woke at 5am but only fed for 5 minutes and spent the next 30 minutes passing wind!  He then had a short sleep til he was woken to a very loud dd1 as she rose at 6am!  I was hoping to have him asleep til 7am but dd is very loud first thing in the morning and wants her baby brother up! So he fed again at 6.15am and we have started the day at this time rather than 7am.  It's hard to know whether the night wakings were caused by the df.  He does seem to get bad wind/gas so I think maybe the df upsets him?  Thanks for sharing Liz.  Anyone else not do the df?

[scucci1979]

I tried the dream feed for weeks. I tried at 10:30pm, 9:30pm and even 9pm, but it would only cause more NWs for my lo.  Once I stopped the DF she went from two feeds a night to one.

[elf]

Wow, thanks for that.  Yes, the pattern for the past 6 weeks for my lo has definitely been more night wakings for a df and if I don't do it we tend to get a 12am/12.30am feed and a 4 - 5am feed. I don't think I will keep playing around with times as for whatever reason it does seem to disrupt his deep sleep. Did you eventually get your lo to sleep through without any night feeds and if so what age?  Thanks for sharing...

[_newmom_]

Hi there - just tagging along as I'm struggling with DF for DD2.  She doesn't seem to be taking to it that well.  Curios to hear what others have done.

[*Liz*]

Jessie - 10pm was recommended by Tracy as it is less disruptive to their sleeping patterns - but if an 11pm feed works better for you then that is fine. Have you tried a 10pm feed? It would be worth a try to see if it helps with those extra NWs. Sometimes these are due to the DF disturbing their natural sleep patterns.

HTH 

[elf]

Interesting...  ds woke on his own at 10pm the other night (don't think he ate enough at 6pm) and then he woke at 2am also, but also had 2 nw's where he needed burping/winding/settling etc.  Last night I made sure he had heaps to drink at 6pm and was asleep by 7pm.  He woke at 12.30 am and rather than try and keep him really sleepy I really made sure he was awake and gave him a good feed, changed his nappy, winded him etc and he was asleep again by 1.30am.  I heard him stir around 5am but he resettled himself til 6am where we got up and stated the day!  The pattern really has been for my ds that when he feeds around 10pm/10.30pm we have 3-4 wake ups and when he goes to 12/12/30am and wakes on his own, he takes a good full feed and he only wakes up once after that.  So I am just going to focus on him waking around 12-1am and then push him out til 6am - hopefully a bit later.  If I have to get up around midnight for the next few months then so be it - I felt as though last night was the best night we'd had since he was born and am hoping it becomes a pattern for him.  He is 6.5 weeks old so I'm thinking that he's doing pretty good on his own and doesn't need the dream feed.  He is a really windy baby so I just don't think feeding him when he wasn't asking for it worked for him...  Hope this helps someone   Oh, and I was speaking to someone the other day who was advised from a parenting helpline that babies do their deepest sleep between 8pm - 12am and it's best not to disturb this.  However, the df worked beautifully for my dd1 who managed to sleep through from 7 weeks with a df and then at 4 months I just stopped doing it and she did 12 hours on her own so I'm not saying that it doesn't work, just maybe not every baby...

[*Liz*]

Thanks for the update 

It is like you say - works for some babies , but not for others.

Really does seem as though the DF just disturbs his sleep cycles.

[scucci1979]

that is great news! My lo's feeds were 12/1am and 4/5am.  She eventually dropped the 12/1am feed at around 10 weeks, then the 4/5am feed around 15 weeks.

HTH

[mommy2mason]

Sounds like your LO is doing great! The DF didn't work with my oldest DS either. He still always woke at the same time. We only tried for about a week but he seemed to do better without it. He was sleeping 12 hours straight by 3.5 months. The MOTN feed just kept getting later and later until it got to our desired wake up time. I also have a 6 week old and we're not doing the DF with him either. We never tried this time around as it worked well with my oldest and I kind of liked not having to go do it every night. For the most part he's sleeping 7:30/8pm-2/3am, then back to sleep until hopefully at least 6:30am. Now naps on the other hand...that another story!