dropping nap guidance needed please

[Mama2boys]

sadly no he wants me sitting in his room and telling him a story...

[abaker89]

Yikes!  Just my opinion so feel free to ignore, but I would really work on leaving him there awake since I see that you have a new baby on the way.  I doubt you would be able to do that once the new one arrives.  My 2nd baby is due in about 8 weeks and we now have it so my husband does basically the entire bedtime routine with some participation from me.  He has always done the part in her room and now that she has stopped nursing, I have much less involvement.  He uses a timer for 15 min after books and teeth brushing downstairs and he sings and rocks with her and then when the timer beeps, she goes in.  The timer thing is pretty new cause she was dragging out the time in her room to 30 min or more.  She seems to like it and once it beeps she goes in, gets th elast hug and kiss and he leaves.  Best of all, I am downstairs eating, resting, whatever I want, during that time!

[Mama2boys]

aiming towards that but just want to get the sleep pattern right and then move towards weaning him off me sitting in the room, so very valid advise.

[Mama2boys]

ok so put him in bed at 8 and he did not fall asleep till 9..so 2 days in a row he has been waking at 7:15 and sleeping at 9, yesterday it was a 30 min late nap and today was a 1 hr nap.

I took the bull by the horns and after 45 mins of sittng with him, told him had to do something and i'd be back and he talked himself to sleep. If tomorrow is a 7:15 wake up with a nap...I will aim for in bed at 8:30 and asleep at 9....any thoughts? or should i still start at 8, the 1 hr gets very frustrating for both of us and many tears get shed

[becky1969]

You're getting a 10 hour night so little guy is clearly OT at bedtime.  I think I'd start earlier so that if it takes him a long time to fall asleep it's still within his window.  

I'm wondering again whether a very early bedtime won't work.  I know his nap is later but it could be that A before bed should be shorter than it used to be.  That is what happened at my house and we had LOTS of long nights like you're having before I finally figured out I had to get the bugger ASLEEP 4 hours post nap or he'd be up 60-90 minutes chatting in bed.

I'm only saying this b/c your nights are only 10 hours.  That's an OT bub at bedtime.  So the 9 isn't when he's sleepy.  Maybe 8 is? If so, then let's try going upstairs at 7 so that he has an hour to fall asleep.  My guess is he won't need the hour! And the 'mommy needs to go...' is a great strategy to get you from beside his bed every night.  So WTG!

[Mama2boys]

Becky we tried 7 the night before and he took 2 hrs to fall asleep, I actually think he is a 10/10.5 hr night guy, I have almost NEVER got more out of him. btw I was the same as a kid...

Are there any signs of OT besides S time? I feel like I am working to standards and staitistics and not sure he falls into the norm..

[Mama2boys]

  Stacy.

And Becky honestly I know this contrary sounding advise from Stacy might feel a bit wierd to you, but she probably knows me and DS like she knows Kaleb...and after todays nap at 1:30 as well..(we were trying since noon as he had been swimming this am and looked tired but he did not sleep till 1:30) makes me belive that I will have to give this strange day 1 hr nap and 10 hr night a week or so and see. That being said it always helps me to ahve anew perspective so your advise has been pretty valuable. Thanks Becky!

Luckily the kid is not cranky or troublesome or anything so my gut says he is not OT, he certainly is a low sleep need kid...

So this is what we will try and work with on a 7:15 starting day
up 7:15
nap 1:30-2:30 (he does not like waking up from this nap but this is very typical him)
bed at 8:120ish and asleep by 9 at the latest

Stacy, I know I need to get him to sleep independently and we had made great progress in the middle and then we gave up the dummy and everything went downhill..partially is because I hate seeing him upset, he rejects DH and only wants me to tell him the stories, and partially as I am working all day I kind of feel like I need to spend that time with him...mommy guilt/ But will go back to weaning him off this and like yesterday tell him I need to run an erramd and will be back and do WIWO...

Thanks both of you

and honestly i must have the most sleep related threads on this forum!!!

[Mama2boys]

haha thats funny and cute..lets see how this works...when did he give up the nap completly??

[Mama2boys]

ummm 3.5 or so but it was a real mess from age 2.5 till then lol.

nooooooooooooooooo

[becky1969]

Stacy and Mukta, no worries!    My advice works best with the EXTRA-sleepy kids.  I know there are the UNDER-sleepy kids, and that Stacy had/has one of those so her advice is invaluable in those situations.  I also have so many threads going I'm not always as aware of the history as I should be    so I apologize if i ignored some important factors.

I'll leave you guys to it! May read along so that when I run into another UNDER-sleepy kid, I'll have something useful to say!  

[Mama2boys]

I also have so many threads going I'm not always as aware of the history as I should be

becky as a moderator, I was shocked when you actually relpied to my thread..half the crowd now avoids my issues hahaha

But honestly thanks your advise really has been useful as I am truly coming to terms with my under sleepy kid having experiemnted now with super early sleep times as well, its been one he** of a rocky road with him and when my parents tell me how I would not sleep till late and be up early, I always thought that maybe because they didnt follow a schedule and I must have been OT etc, but I truly think it was because I didn't need much sleep...my dad is a low sleeper as well...

Honestly I hope some day I can help just 1 mom and child with sleep issues and I will feel like I have started paying off my debt to BW. 75% of my close BW friends are all the moms I met because of DS's sleep issues so I guess I should not complain too much.

[Mama2boys]

btw i bet deb has had more threads than you Mukta!

ah but her kids are older and she has 2

[becky1969]

that's how I look at it too -- if I can just help *1* other mom, then the hell we went thru the first year because of reflux and allergies will allllll be worth it!  And it does help.  Of course,  getting regular sleep helps too! 

[clazzat]

Just wanted to give you (((hugs))), Mukta, and tell you to go with your instinct.  When we were having nap/bedtime issues with dd1 I got a lot of advice that was really good, but didn't quite fit with what I was seeing in my little girl - when I combined the advice I got with my gut instinct we solved the problem (but I can't really help you as she is nearly 3 and sleeping 13+hours a day!).

You're a great mum, so don't feel guilty.

[Mama2boys]

thanks ladies, morale boosting sure helps.

Ok wierder day today

Woke up at 6am up till 6:40 then slept till 7:40, had to get him up so he could get to his playschool..no nap and then fell asleep in car on wya to the playdate so mayeb allowed him 15-20 mins..so what time should I put him to bed? Logic will say 7ish but I can bet my life he won't be ready to sleep till 8:30ish...

any thoughts? Should I just look out for a first yawn and then get him to bed?