10 month old suddenly refusing to nurse! Please Help!!!

[fireflymama]

My son is almost 10 months old and has been breastfeeding with no problems since birth.  He is just cutting his first tooth and has refused to breastfeed.  (though he does at bedtime and occasionally in the morning)  During the day I can't seem to get him to breastfeed at all.  I've been pumping to maintain my supply and offering him breastmilk in a bottle.  Sometimes he drinks it all up and other times he refuses the bottle as well.  He has not really started solids yet.  I've tried for months now but he's just not interested.  We've tried pureed foods, finger foods, but he's just not ready, I guess.  The pedi is not concerned at all since his weight is fine and he's developing wonderfully.  I'm continuing to offer him solids every day, in the hopes that one day, he'll be really into it.
I'm just worried that he's not eating enough now since he's not nursing well.  He's also waking up at night (seemingly in pain.)  I've been nursing him at night since I'm assuming he must be hungry.  He nurses well in the middle of the night but I don't want to get him into this bad habit.  I'm just wondering how long this will last.  It's stressful, totally messes up his routine and makes me feel bad about my relationship with my him.  I don't feel like we've been connecting very well.

[Mrs Coops]

Hi

Sending you some {{hugs}} as it sounds like you need it.

Maybe his first tooth is really upsetting him. Could you try and give him some Calpol before he would normally eat to see if it eases any pain?

Is he reaching any other milestone like walking that could be distracting him?

I agree with you about the night feeding, I avoided those at all cost. We always tried everything else like pain relief, nappy change... before going in with a feed!

As long as your doctor is happy with his weight I would try and relax as much as possible. Babies are a mystery and just love to change a routine just when you think you've got it cracked!
  When my LO was seven months old I used to sit and try and feed her when she was due one, only to get stressed as she would suck for a second (if she even bothered to latch at all) and then push away stressed. I then changed to offering only when she asked, and then I realised she was dropping a feed!!

You might find once that tooth is through he might get back on track. Definitely keep up the pumping though.

Sorry if I haven't given much help I'm sure someone more knowledgeable will be along to help soon.

xxx

[fireflymama]

Thank you so much for responding.  It definitely helps just to get support...and hugs.  Thank you 

[jopan78]

hi fireflymama, my DD refused to nurse when she was cutting her teeth too. She also woke up screaming in pain until we gave her hylands teething tablets which is homeopathic (natural). You may also want to try cold stuff which soothes teething pain like yogurt/ fruit sticks that he can gnaw on. My DD loves those and whole milk yogurt is really rich and good for them.

[fireflymama]

Thank you so much.  I really appreciate your advice!

[NadeneR]

Big hugs as I was there 2 weeks ago. I didn't realise how teething can bother them, my son was a dream teether, so DD's teething hassles are all new to me.

I've learned that night wakings are common when they're cutting a tooth, and very poor daytime feeds are also to be expected.

I can certainly vouch for the Hylands Teething Tablets, they work like a charm. I also gave a pain syrup before bedtime, just to have a longer stretch of sleep. When she woke during the night, I gave the tablets. Oh, and I also fed, and she's back to STTN, so no bad habits were created. I just think it brings enormous comfort to them when they're in so much pain, more than them becoming dependent on it. It lasted about a week to 10 days, on and off, until I saw that little pearl forcing it's way out of her gums. Her daytime feeds are also back to normal.

Giving cold or rubbery things to chew on helps a lot. Other than that all you can do is just ride it out. I know it's rough. Sending you some more hugs.

Nadene.

[fireflymama]

Thank you so much.  I just bought those teething tablets and plan on trying them tonight.  I really appreciate your advice and support.

[NadeneR]

I also gave the tablets before naps to make sure she had a good AM and PM nap and didn't wake early from pain.

I see Talia is about to cut another tooth, (her 6th one), which explains her nw at 4 this morning and poor bf after her morning nap. So you and I are in the same boat.

Let me know how you and LO are doing with those tablets. Good luck.

Nadene

[fireflymama]

Thanks for checking in.  Your kids are adorable, by the way!

I gave Jaden the tablets before bed last night and he slept through the night!!!  I don't know if it was a fluke ...but I was thrilled.  I'll definitely try again tonight.  When you give the tablets do you dissolve them in water or do you put them in her mouth?  I'm thinking that Jaden would either spit it out or just swallow it.  I can't imagine that he would let them dissolve in his mouth.

thank you so much for your advice.  Good luck with Talia 

[NadeneR]

WoooHooo!! Well done to your little man for STTN. That's such a good feeling when they haven't done that for a while, and then suddenly do it again.

I don't dissolve the tablets in water. I pop 3 of them under her tongue. They dissolve in a second or 2 - I mean REALLY quick. So there's no time to spit them out or swallow them. I gave them today straight after washing my hands and one tablet melted while just holding it between my wet fingers as I was about to put it into her mouth.

Talia has been miserable since the weekend. I put it all down to the fact that we attended my brother-in-law's wedding on Saturday - almost 6 hrs drive away. So her routine was completely thrown out since Friday when we drove up, had a busy day with the family on Sat, a late night at the wedding and then drove back on Sun. Now I'm thinking that the new tooth was contributing to how grumpy she's been, which is very rare for her as she has such a happy disposition.

Any attempt to bf her just leaves me feeling soooo frustrated. She sucks, but not with intent, iykwim? More like just gumming or squeezing my nipple between her tongue and palate, so I don't even get a let down. Are you experiencing something similar?

What I've also found helps quite a bit is to feed while she's still very sleepy. Fortunately she's - mostly - a very good sleeper and I have to wake her from naps, so I'm able to feed while she's virtually still asleep, with curtains and block-out blinds still drawn. That way she's very calm and relaxed. It doesn't always work though, like today.

Holding all fingers crossed for you for another good night!! He's a gorgeous little guy, and although things are a bit tough right now and you might not feel like the 2 of you are connecting well, this shall pass and you'll have other challenges / developments to face. It's called parenthood. Just know that you're not alone on your journey, which is why I'm so grateful for this site.

Hugs
Nadene

[fireflymama]

Thank you so, so much.  I really appreciate all of your support.  Jaden's gums look awful.  (like blisters on his top gums.  Poor guy    For some reason though, he's been nursing better today.  Hopefully that will continue.

It's so difficult when their routine gets messed up.  We went to my brother's wedding last month and for 5 days Jaden was a total mess.  It was stressful and exhausting but after a day or so, he was fine again.  Sometimes the whole routine thing is really annoying!

[NadeneR]

  Poor little Jaden, sounds like he has lots of pain. I feel so sorry for them, and sometimes so helpless. Don't be afraid to medicate if you feel the need to, just follow your instincts. Glad he's nursing better though. That's a good sign!

I so agree with you about the whole routine thing being annoying. But TBH, I'd much rather have the routine (which I follow very strictly), than no routine at all. When my son was born, I knew nothing about routines for babies, didn't have BW back then and arrogantly thought that babies conform to your lifestyle. Boy was I in for a shock. The result was a baby who woke between 5 and 11 times a night and seldom took good naps. After 8 months of functioning on 1.5 hrs sleep a night, I was suffering so badly with depression, purely from sleep deprivation. I wanted to donate him for research, or send him back to where he came from. Lol. I'm very grateful today that I didn't. I was treated for depression and started getting him into a routine, but there was little improvement. He only started sleeping through a month after his 4th birthday. Hence the reason I'm so strict with Talia's routine. She's been sleeping through since 10 weeks, thanks to BW.

Anyway, enough waffling. I'm off to bed and holding thumbs that we both have a good night, and our lo's of course. Good luck with little Jaden.

Nadene

[fireflymama]

I completely know what you're talking about in regards to routine!  I also assumed that Jaden would just conform to our lifestyle.  I wish I had known better...but I didn't have BW then either.  Jaden woke up every 30-60 minutes every night for 5 1/2 months.  I was an exhausted, depressed, crying mess!  That's when I found BW.  He still doesn't sleep through the night but he only wakes 1-2 times now, which is the hugest improvement.  Of course, I'd love for him to not wake up at all until the morning...but I can deal with 1-2 times.  It was a miserable, miserable beginning to being a new mom.  He's 10 months old now and I feel like I'm just starting to recover from that whole ordeal.  I've also been treated for depression (started about a month ago) and I'm definitely feeling better. 
If we have another kid, I'm definitely getting them on BW from the beginning.  I can't handle a repeat of that sort of sleep deprivation.  The whole experience makes me scared to even have another kid.

[NadeneR]

  Sounds like we have a lot in common.  Plus DH didn't help with Lian AT ALL and no grandparents nearby.  So it was all up to me.  I was a tearful, angry mess.  That's why there is a 4yr 3mo gap between my lo's.  I was petrified to have another.  I spoke to my midwife about my fears at one of my check-ups and she recommended BW, bless her beautiful soul.  I'm so grateful.  Talia has been on BW since out of the womb.

How has Jaden been the last few days?  Any teeth visible yet?  STTN?  How are you finding the tablets?  Would love an update!

Talia woke for 3 nights in a row, but slept through last night again.  Said a silent Thank You prayer when I woke up at 8 this morning and realised that she was still fast asleep.  Yayyyy!!!

Let me know how things on your side are going!!

Nadene

[fireflymama]

Hi there,

We had some awful nights this weekend but last night Jaden woke only once at 5am and then went back to sleep until 8:30!!!!  (He's never slept so late.  It was blissful!!!)  He now has 3 teeth poking through and one almost breaking through.  He seems to be feeling better in the last day or so, thank goodness.  Thank you again for all of your help and support.  I appreciate it so much 

How is Talia doing?  I hope you're getting some sleep over there!

It is definitely scary to think about having another child but I agree, this one will start of BW from the beginning.  Hopefully it will make a difference.

Hope all is well