HELP.....Almost gave in at 5am NW

[cameron09]

My LO usually wakes around 2:30 and sometimes 5am still and he's 6 mo.  He gets a dreamfeed around 10:30/11 of 7oz (although usually he wakes for it himself).  At 2:30 he was getting 4oz - I have worked to decrease this one down from a full bottle.

So 2 nights ago I dropped the 3am NF with shush/pat.  It took till 4:30am.  He then woke again 20 min later.  This time it took till almost 6am.  He then successfully slept till 8am and took his full feed.

Last night I heard him whimpering at 3:15am but within 5 minutes he stopped and he was asleep - yeah, I didn't even have to intervene.  However, at 4:40 he awoke again.  When I went in to shush/pat, he almost fell asleep again in 10 minutes, however, he seemed to get frustrated that he couldn't sleep and stated crying really loud.  This went on until 6am, when I have to admit I caved in.  I picked him up, and started feeding him his bottle.  He took 1 oz, then I stopped him and decided to try just water.  He sipped it for 30 sec, then looked up and smiled at me.  I put him to bed and he went straight to sleep till 8am again.  He obviously wasn't really hungry.

What should I have done?  Persisted with shush/pat till?  Or fed him at 5am and be happy that we made it till then.  Was the water in a bottle a bad idea?

I was confused and tired and didn't know what to do as it was close to his wake up time of 6:30/7am. 

Anyone have any suggestions?  Please tell me as tonight might be the same thing.

[bennysmama]

Big hugs!   It looks like you're definitely doing all the right things.  And six months is the age when lots of bubs start getting closer to STTN. 

So he can put himself back to sleep.... I'm wondering if maybe shhpat might be quite stimulating for a 6mo.  Maybe he put himself back to sleep after the bottle because he'd had a little cuddle (my little guy sometimes just needs a cuddle to go back to sleep).  Did you get him out of his cot to do the 440 shhpat?   

Here's what I'd do:  count to ten slowly before you go in.  Try not to feed.  Try low key soothing.  If you find yourself caving in at some ungodly hour and offering a bit of water....well that's fine.  Mummys need to sleep too! 


xxx

[cameron09]

Thanks
I've tried PU/PD and that was stimulating for him.  I just shush him (no pat).

Maybe water is not so bad, but I'm afraid he's still using the bottle to soothe himself.

[HarleysMom]

Dont have much advice, but maybe some encouragement.  I went through this very exact thing with Harley the last few weeks....He used to do the same, take only an ounce and/or laugh at me!  I was soo drained I know how u feel   But dont give up!!!  I tell ya I was so frustrated..but he was doing this for weeks, constantly every hour shhpatting, sometimes taking an hour    I know he wasnt hungry, he is a big boy for his age and he gets plenty during the day (30 plus oz),top ups and dreamfeeds,and I dont let him sleep through feeds. Like you said, he was using it to soothe himself back to sleep. Then Poof! all of a sudden (after a really bad night) he started sleeping through the night!! well from 11(DF) to 6am or so, so all the shhpatting really did work!  Good Luck  

[cameron09]

Here is his EASY schedule:

Normally awake at 6:30/7am but last 2 days 8am because of the night.  Here are the 2 recent EASY.

Few days ago before starting the removal of NF:
E 6:30am 6-7oz
E 8:15 - cereal
S 9-10:45
E 11am 60z
E 12 cereal
S 1:15-2:15 (usually shorter than morning nap)
E 3pm 6oz
S 4:30/5 (for 30 min) - but sometimes refused it
E 5:30 cereal (Usually starving)
E 6:15 7oz
S 7pm
E around 10:30 (he usually wakes self)
E 2:30 4oz
E sometimes 5am 4oz

Todays:
E 8am about 7oz
   9:00 - cereal
S 9:45 -11:15
E 11:15 6oz
   12:30 cereal/veg
S 1:30-3:30
E 3:30 7 oz
E 5:30 cereal
E 6:15 7.5oz
A 6:30 Bath
S 6:45/7
E 11pm

He has napped better (2 long naps) since I stopped feeding him at night, but I figured it's because he's exhausted.  He's also skipped his catnap by his choice.

I've allowed him to drink as much as he likes at each feeding to make sure he makes up for the loss of feeding at night.  He's a big boy (20lbs almost) and I know he gets enough during the day.

So you think give bottle of water is OK?  Is it not still a prop?  Should I give it before trying to shh him at all?  I'm a bit confused.  

Also, should I stay for the entire time he is trying to go back to sleep and shh or only if he is really crying?  Sometimes I wonder if I'm preventing him from self soothing to sleep.  It seems like the shh has little effect on my LO.

Thanks for any help!

[cameron09]

Thanks Harley's mom for the encouragement.  Good to hear.  Did you stop NF and just shh/pat?  Or were you still giving him just a little?

[HarleysMom]

stopped cold turkey...as I was feeding him for every cry and so was DH   I just used shhpat, but in your case its probably too stimulating as you and bennysmama said   It took Harley about a week, and the NW kept getting fewer and fewer.  It was hard tho to not feed him...and sometimes you think well, maybe he is really hungry this time, but I kept record of how much he was feeding throughout the day,kinda helped as a guidline.  Also, he is 3 months and about 17 lbs, and very healthy so I knew he didnt need these feedings and he has went 8 hrs sleep before on his own.  I wouldnt offer water unless he gets really really upset...I know how u feel seems as shhpat wasnt working for me either for a while,I got soo frustrated I was going to scrap the whole BW to tell you the truth , but something kept me going.  Im glad I did.  I also only go in the room when he is really crying, not a mantra or a fussy whine. 

[cameron09]

Well since I last posted, my ds STTN once (yeah).  However, the last 4 nights he has woken consitently around 5 or 5:30am.  I know he's not ready to start his day because he's upset.  The water is no longer working.  I can't seem to settle him with shushing and PU/PD is not good for my spirited one.  It's hard to tell if he's hungry as he can drink his bottle even if his belly is full.  He still gets the DF at 11pm. 

So my question is what should I do when he wakes at 5am?  Try and keep consoling him until after 6am and then just start the day and feed if he doesn't soothe?  Or, feed immediately and put back to sleep (if I can)?  Should I feed 1/2 bottle and then do the rest at 7am?  Or give the whole thing

Shouldn't a 6 month old be able to go from DF at 11pm till 6:30/7am?  Or am I expecting too much.

Also, does anyone have any other soothing methods besides PU/PD and sh/pat?  I don't think the shushing does much and I think if he doesn eventually stop crying and fall asleep, it's only because he's exhausted himself.

[HarleysMom]

well thats great news!  Sounds like habitual waking....maybe you can try Wake To Sleep?  I know it works like a charm for Harley!!!  Really extends his sleep time wonderfully!  But before I started doing W2S I'd just shush pat him in his crib and/or pick him up and sit in the chair if he got really upset (which he usually do...seems to just escalate with him )  Although I may be sitting by his crib shushpatting for an hour (he gets so worked up)  but I caved in once and gave him a bottle and he drank an ounce and was spluttering to get that down. (same as your situation) so I just do this shush pat and the S wind down until he settles, until about 7 or so (if I can get him that long) then I give him a full feed. I'm not sure what you would do in regards to feeding him 1/2 later....maybe someone else may have some advice
Nah, I don't think your expecting much....Harley is 3 1/2 months and I get him from 10:30 DF to 6 or 7am...so not at all. 
In regards to other soothing methods....there's not much I wouldn't say, especially if you want to steer clear of AP  
I hope this helps in some way...Let me know how you gets on!