Hello. I have been following this thread, as I take an interest in the NW and PU/PD posts beacause we've jsut come through what you're going through. My DS is 8.5 mos and 50% as well. We had NWs and EWs but we made it through with some a variation of PU/PD and CONSISTENCY. I know how tireing it is to be up in the middle of the night for over an hour at a time... several times each night. The easiest thing to do is nurse and have them back to sleep sooner... thus yourself be back to sleep sooner. But I think it's confusing to continue the DF while trying ot break the other night feeds. Also, I think it may be a bit confusing in general with the PU/PD to not know when it's coming, or when she'll be fed. Or, maybe after a certain amount of crying or time and then be fed after-all. It seems cruel to withold this comfort when they're crying... but I assure you... they WILL cry through this process.
Remember, you're simply training them to develop this independant sleep skill. They don't know how to do it. But she WILL figure it out if you never capitulate. Commit to the idea and do it even when you doubt it's doing any good at all.
Our DS now goes to bed at 7pm and STTN to 7am. He is up roughly 3- 3.5hrsA and 2x 1.5hr naps. This is only new in the past 2 weeks. We had 1-2 weeks of sleep training. I was like you and I think I was confusing my little guy for nearly 3 weeks before we got a clear plan and stuck to it. THAT's when we noticed the change... and then it only took a week or two for it all to fall into place. Whatever variation works for your little one, just stay the course. Don't change it up.
Here's what we did. It may work for you as well, maybe it will be some other variation. The actual picking him up and putting him down only upset him further. So, since we don't believe in CIO, we did this instead:
After a nice 20-30m bedtime routine, we would lay DS down and say our key phrase, then leave the room. If he began to cry, we would wait about 3 mins (it felt like forever) and if it was an "I need you cry" and not a "mantra" cry, then one of us would go back in, use words of comfort first (key phrase) then lay him back down (he would be standing) and key phrase. He would cry and stand again. We laid him back down 4-5 times only. We would stay by the crib and offer support through the bars and repeat the key phrase. Every once in awhile, I would pat the matress and ask him to lay down. Eventually, he would lay down... or begin to fall asleep standing, at which point I'd lay him down. I would stay in the chair by his bed until he was fully asleep. I did this for 3 days.
Days 4, 5 and 6 I moved my chair to the middle of the room. I did the whole thing the same, this time getting up from my chair to offer support through the rails, once calm, I'd sit back down. I sat in the chair until he was asleep.
Days 6, 7 and 8 I moved my chair to the door. I offered more reasuring words than physical touch. I was there for him the whole time, until he was fast asleep.
By day 9, we could lay him down and leave the room BEFORE he was asleep. If he cried for us, we went in, key phrase, laid him back down and left. Generally only having to go in once. Now, if ever he protests, this is the stage we go back to. No more staying in the room. BUT, he also doesn't cry more than 40 seconds to 2 mins anymore... so before our 3 min wait is up, he's usually settled and we don't even need to go it.
I don't know that this is really considered PU/PD or just PD, but all I know is that it fit our philosophy of staying with our son and teaching him this skill. Though we never picked him up, I truly believe we demonstrated to him our commitment to responding to his needs, while giving him the space to learn this skill. I hope our success helps you in yours. Alethia
