Losing my mind! Help with NWs for 6mo

[Otownmama]

I have posted about NWs before, but I'm starting to really lose my mind and would really appreciate some help! My LO is just over 6 mo and EBF. We have just recently started solids, but she is taking to it pretty slowly so not getting significant calories from solids yet. We are finally (after serious short nap issues!) close to a 4 hr EASY. We have been doing the DF but she regularly wakes again at least once. Although she started STTN at 7 wks until about 4 mos, she has been very hit and miss since then, made worse by teething. She used to stir, fuss a bit and then fall back asleep quite regularly, but now she's waking crying. Although I'm giving her pain meds for the teething quite regularly, it doesn't seem to be pain that is waking her always. Last night she woke at 3:25 and I fed her, but it took over an hour more to get her to settle. She would drift off for a few mins and then cry again. Our EASY is as follows, or the ideal at least:

7 am - wake and BF
8 am - solids
920 - wind down
930 - sleep (this nap is never consistent - sometimes 35 mins, sometimes 1.5 hrs, but 1hr10m is about the norm)
1045 ish - BF
100 - wind down
115 - sleep (usually 1.5-2hrs, extended after a 35 min waking!)
3ish - BF
5 - solids
615 - bath and bedtime routine
645 - sleep
1030 - DF

This routine assumes decent naps and therefore she usually resists the catnap. If we have a short am nap, meaning I usually feed at about 3.5 hrs and the whole schedule is condensed, I can usually get a catnap of 35 mins around 5 even if it is in the swing or car. If she has the catnap, we usually get her down around 7. I assume a 7 am wake-up but the reality is that it is often earlier, and if she has had a rough night I'll let her sleep (OK, I'm usually sleeping too!) until 730.

Beatrice is quite easy to settle with a good wind down (diaper change, stories, sleepsack, lights out, paci) then I put my hand on her chest and shh a bit, though she almost always stirs at 35 mins after going down. I don't think the paci is a prop, although it does help her settle in the night sometimes if she's just fussing. I have not yet tried PUPD per se, but just try to persist in getting her to settle with our version of shhpat, although I do resort to feeding her again most nights.

Grateful for any ideas on adjusting her EASY, dealing with the NWs and whether I should be feeding again after the DF or not. It might be time to extend her A time beyond 2.5 hrs now? I watch her signs pretty closely though...

Thanks so much for any help and advice. I'm struggling with some PPD and the sleep deprivation is a big part of the problem I think.

Sarah

[~ Vik ~]

Hi Sarah

How often is she waking at night?  What do your nights look like?  Does she always wake at the same time, or does it change?  It's actually quite normal for ebf babies to still need a night feed at this age, so she could very well be hungry.  Does she take a full feed?  Have you seen this information?  http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=98183.0

Sorry for so many questions, but hopefully we can help!
Hugs,
Vikki

[Otownmama]

It kind of depends on the night I guess, but I would say she is not habitually waking because it is usually quite different night to night. Last night was relatively good I guess - she woke up once around 1. The problem is, she was up for about an hour and would not settle until I fed her. But she did sleep through till 6ish from then on. The night before I assumed hunger and fed her right away, but she STILL wouldn't settle and was up for over an hour. But then other nights she is up a few times and settles easily, but then around 4-5 won't settle and needs to eat. She is taking a good feeding, but not a FULL one I would say - usually just one side. The reason I have been hesitant to feed her is that she STTN from 7 wks - 4 mos (from DF to 630ish) without needing to eat, so it seems odd to have to feed her now. But on 4 hr EASY I gather she might not be getting as much food as before as she's only having 5 feedings?

Thanks so much! If it was just a matter of feeding her once more in the night and then she'd sleep, I'd be fine, but it is so unpredictable!

Sarah

[Otownmama]

We had a terrible night last night - she woke almost every hour and I got 2 2hr stretches by bringing her in to our bed, which I hate doing. I'm so miserable and DH has to work so he's miserable, help please???

[~Lori~]

(((HUGS))) I'm so sorry.  I don't have any advice as we are going through NW's too, but just wanted you to know I am thinking about you!!  I know days after nights like that are soooo hard

[ENMS]

I'm going through NW's too, good luck and hopefully things will be better tonight for you!!  My DD too is very alert when she wakes at night and I can't get her back to sleep in less than 1hr no matter what I do.  I saw a posting the other day saying that maybe she's getting too much sleep for her needs and that's why she wakes up and doesn't want to go back to sleep, she needs some extra A time.

I'm trying to extend A times since yesterday, last night was an improvement (only 1 NW for 30 mins) but don't know if that was just luck or because of the longer A times...

(((HUGS)))

[Chariel]

Hi Sarah, I was going through the same thing when my LO was 6 months and it was so hard so I know what you are going through, I actually went to the doc saying I was depressed and once we talked he said no you are just exhausted and turns out he was right! Our LO ended up spending a couple of Saturday nights with grandparents so I could get a full nights sleep, is there anyway you could do this? It is awful how lack of sleep messes with you. Jane helped me tweak my LO's day time EASY, we actually went up to 2 1/2 hours A time and that seemed to be a good place for him for quite awhile but every baby is different, he is just now doing 3 hrs and that took some work to get to. I also started out by promising myself (if he had eaten well all day) that I would not nurse until 4 am, the NWings before that my DH went in and soothed DS which did help cut our NWings from at least 3 or 4 to max of 2 most times 1 or sometimes (although I admit rarely) he STTN. Anyway, I kept nursing after 4 am until I realized one time that it was really messing things up because he wasn't hungry at all when he woke for the day at around 7 so that is when I cut it out. Hopefully some others will have some encouraging words and lots of advice for you as I have a post up to as we are now dealing with 5 am EWing so I'm not really the expert that is for sure! Sometimes it feels like it is always something huh Hugs to you!

Charmaine

[Tweakster]

Hi there Otown, agree with some PPs that your LO could be hungry, they go through a GS at around 6 months it can be earlier or later depending on the LO.  Also teething is a huge factor around this age, they are just in discomfort from those strange sensations and the teething moving up and down in the gums - it does cause sleep disturbances because we are living it at the moment.  Is she eating her regular amount during the day?  Finn cut back on his day feeds, hard to get many oz into him and then he wants to feed at night to make it up.  It's because of his teeth.  We have good luck with putting the teething gel on just before or after a feed because the sucking hurts their gums.  If you are BF probably best to put on after.  The fact that she is taking so long to settle after leads me to think she's having discomfort...is she crying after?

A question about feeding, could you still feed her on a 4 hourly?  With Finn he has reflux and so we had to feed around EASY meaning sometimes our day looked like EASAE so when she wakes from her nap, just do some A time and then feed her at the 4 hourly mark (or close to it but not before if possible) and then some A afterward until next nap time.  If you go back to the 3.5 etc. she may start to snack.  But I am not that knowledgeable about BF - you could maybe post on there for advice too.

Also there is a big jump in A time between 5 - 7 months as they get more mobile, they also look to drop that CN but not all are really ready for it.  Teething causes A times to regress a bit so when you are sure she is in a teething spell I really would not push too hard as it will cause OT and then you have OT and discomfort NW which are very hard to settle.  But when she is not teething and has had a good night sleep and decent naps you can play with the A time a bit to see where she is at. 

From your routine it looks as though her longest A is at the end of the day which can cause OT in a lot of LO's especially on short naps.  OT at the end of the day leads to NW and EW.  I think she still needs the CN at this point...even just a short one.

Sleep deprivation is evil and contributes wholly to our PPD (I have it too :-))  PP has a good suggestion about getting caught up on sleep yourself.  It's vital to being able to help your LO.

Big hugs!

[Otownmama]

Thanks for all the encouragement! I'm not sure I can handle too many more nights like last night. The thing with feeding her after the DF is that then in the morning she doesn't eat well. Last night I fed her around 230 and tried again at 430 when she woke, but she really wasn't hungry then. Still, in the morning she just had a top-up. Thanks for the tip re: using orajel or something before or after nursing. She does seem to be a bit uncomfortable nursing right now. I am giving her tylenol or advil before bed every night and often again in the night, plus using camilia periodically. I know the teething is causing discomfort, she is tugging her ears and sometimes cries when chewing something so I know her gums hurt. But we've had over a month of the NWs so I'm inclined to think it's not just teething.

WRT A time, she is pretty consistent at 2.5 hrs until the end of day. She fights the catnap a lot of days (today included) and then she gets pretty rangy around 530 so we put her down early. I know she really should still have the catnap but unless she's in a swing or stroller it doesn't happen most days.

I am trying to remember that this too shall pass!

[~Lori~]

This is why I had to drop the dreamfeed a few weeks ago actually.  I felt it wasn't doing anything to sustain DS through the night, and he'd wake anyways, between 3-4.  Even when I tried to limit his feed at 4, he still wasn't hungry at 7.  When we dropped the dreamfeed (cold turkey), we had a couple nights of him waking at that time, but now, he typically sleeps from 7:30-3:30, then back to sleep till 7:30 and b/c only 1 night feeding, he is more hungry in the morning.