Sooo frusterated!

[Jenn+Ethan+Emily]

LOL Thanks Wendy, yes it is starting to veer away from night wakings but........here it comes back! I am very confused as to how it is possible to have such completely different nights. Monday night Ethan slept great, then last night we were back to at least 10 NW. The days were pretty much identical except for DH putting him to bed on Monday and DS crying for an hour. So do you think that maybe I am putting DS so bed UT? Or do I need to try and do things to burn off more of DS's energy towards the night time (with somehow not overstimulating him)? It is just so strange to me how nights can be so completely different when nothing is changing during the day. The thing with DS being UT, is that when I put him to bed he goes to sleep right away but he does always wake after 45 min. We are starting tonight with DH putting him to bed so that might just solve all my problems because he will scream. I don't know, do you have any advice as to what I might need to change? Does it sound like he is UT?

[ryates71]

Hi Jenn,

I'm soooo pleased for you!  Remember at start of this thread he was waking every 45 mins - just look how far you have come!!  Even if the odd night goes a bit wonky again it's really really good progress.

Sorry I've not been around.  As I might have mentioned I'm returning to work in Jan and in the process of applying for my own job ... lol.  Anyway, something came up which has used up all my spare time and mental capacity for the past few days.  The upshot of it is a realisation that I cannot go back fulltime - I would just end up overtired and overstressed within 6 months.  I just want to be super mum and have everything (family, career, etc) but I no longer think it's really achievable.

Anyway, our nights are getting pretty good (hoping not to jinx it though  ).  We are down to ~1 night waking, and last night he slept all the way through from 7:30pm to 7am!!!!!  Day time sleeps seem to have gone a bit wonky though - he always wakes after 30 or 45 mins and doesn't always go back down.  However - this I can live with!!  We've still go the catnap in there but as we need to go out to pick up DD at 3pm most evenings it's going to have to stay for a while.

My DH is bl**dy useless when it comes to helping out.  He has only been up with DS about 5 times in the night since DS was born ... when I have been up 5 times each night for some weeks!!!  For the past few months he's not been home in time to do bedtime and now when he is home he tends to sort DD out whilst I do DS.  Like you I am at the stage where it's just easiest if I do it - although I know that it might cause us some problems in the future ... especially when I go back to work as there will be times when I am travelling abroad ... so probably something we need to address too!!  With DD I had a head cold when she was 9 months and slept through the crying so DH did start getting up and learnt to settle her.  When DD got older she would cry out "Daddy" and if I went in her crys would escalate so he took over most of the NWs.

I'm finding with my DS at the moment that his A times can very quite a lot.  Sometimes he'll sleep 45mins (UT) after 2hr30 A time, other times he'll sleep 30mins (OT).  I'm assuming it's developmental as there seems to be so much going on for him at the moment - teeth (I think no. 3 is going to arrive soon), growing (his arms and legs have suddenly grown so that the 6-9month clothes look small!), and he is desperate to crawl (can get on all 4s but only goes backwards and that makes him really mad).

Rachel

[Jenn+Ethan+Emily]

Hey Rachel,

Awesome about your DS's nights! I am definitely hoping for you that this is going to be permanent! Especially if you are returning to work. I am sure you are going to be super Mom no matter what you decide (fulltime or not!). I think anyone who has two kids is a super Mom to begin with. I am convinced DS will be an only child ha ha.

We are still working on DH putting LO to sleep. It looks like this may take us a while.

Our nights have been alright. I am wondering how long LO's wake at the same times each night to begin doing W2S?  The last two nights I have noticed that DS is waking several times before 10:30 but the last two night he has woken at the same times after 10:30. He wakes at 12:30, then 2:30 then 5:30. It is getting nice to have a few stretches of two hours in there I must admit! Does anyone think I should start W2S at this point or give it a few more nights and see if the pattern continues?

I am still trying to figure DS's A times out. It seems that he is a fairly easygoing little guy and he does not give tiredness signs very well. You can distract him with anything and he is happy for another 30 minutes. I do not know if he is bored or getting tired. In the morning it seems like I are putting him to sleep after 2hr 15 min. He goes to sleep quickly but is waking at that 45min point again (I can usually always get him to go down for another 45min). Maybe time to extend A? Then he never shows tiredness signs after this so I put him down for his next nap at about 2hr 45 min and he sleeps for 45 min again and is so wide awake I cannot get him to sleep again. Then we are doing a 45 min catnap about 2 hours after that. Does this seem okay? It is obviously working somewhat because the last two nights DS has not been waking every 45 min.

[Tweakster]

Hi Jenn,

Glad to hear about DH and the shared duties.  It really helps to have help so that if you are ill, or go out etc. that DH is confident to put Ethan to bed.  You'll get there.

W2S is a tricky thing because it is really meant for habitual wakings.  Finn would wake within an hour radius so we never knew when to go in and try it.  I would try to see if there is a pattern when your naps are sorted and you know he is getting enough day sleep.  That would then suggest he is waking for a reason other than OT and W2S will be more effective.

Some LO's are just short nappers, he's getting a physically restorative cycle in at 45 mins and that may be how he likes it.  But normally short nappers do well at night and so I suspect something else is up, likely routine related.  2 hr 15 mins for the first A sounds ok to me.  Finn still has his morning A at 2 hr 45 and he's 7.5 months. 

If you can extend the nap then I would say that it's probably developmental but that said, a lot of Angel or Textbook LO's will just be lulled back to sleep because it's what they are being told to do.  He could be UT at that first nap but it's hard to know due to his bad nights.  When his nights consolidate a bit I would attempt pushing the morning A so you can get closer to dropping the CN.

Can you post your EASY we can take another look.

[Jenn+Ethan+Emily]

OKay here it is!

Wake 6:45
E: 6:45 breast and 5oz bottle
A: until 9
S: 9-10:30 or 10:45 (usually resettling at 45min)
E:10:45 8oz bottle
E: 11:30 solids
A: until 1:30
S: until 2:30 (usually takes longer for him to settle for this nap and I usually cannot get more then 45 min)
E: 3:00 8oz bottle
A:until 4:30
S: catnap until 5:15
E: solids at 5:30
A: bath, massage, stories
S: asleep by 7:15 (most nights)

Ethan is not eating in the night at all anymore. Most of the time he is only awake in the night for a few minutes while I pat his back a couple of times. He usually wakes 45min after he goes to sleep. Then an hour after that he wakes again and then he wakes about an hour after that. Then we have been getting a couple two hour stretches and a three hour stretch from 2:30-5:30.

I totally agree with what you are saying about textbook/ angel babies. Ethan is so easy to sidetrack, it makes it hard to read his cues.

[Jenn+Ethan+Emily]

OKay, so much for my habitual waking theory! Last night Ethan slept from 7:20 until 8:15 and then he didn't wake up until 4 am! so strange but I love it none the less! So I am not sure what made the difference as our days were identical. Hedid get the flu shot yesterday so that might have made him tired but he got his 6 mos immunizations the day before and still woke every 2 hours. Oh well. We have made so much progress from the 45min that we started this thread out with!

[ryates71]

Hi Jenn,

I hope that YOU slept until 4am too!!

I think if I were you I would try stretching the first A time by 10 mins for the next couple of days and see if that makes any difference.  I just can't seem to find the right A times at the moment - the lack of cues really doesn't help and also I get easily distracted and suddenly realise it's been a long time since his last S (Bad mommy!).  I'm going to concentrate next week on A times and see if I can get his naps sorted.  I also seem to have to resettle him during naps and only get 1 nap extension.  His catnap is now down to 20mins and I am sure he is OT.

Anyway, better go and change his nappy now he's finished grunting!

Rachel

[Jenn+Ethan+Emily]

I did in fact sleep until 4am...two nights in a row now! Yay!

I think I will try to extend that morning A time a little bit more. I do think that he is needing a little bit longer awake time as he is now playing in his crib for a little bit longer before falling asleep. Hopefully that works for both of us! How have your nights been going?

My little guy des the grunting thing too haha but it is always when he is in his chair eating at the table 

[Tweakster]

Hi Jenn, I agree now that he's 6.5 mths he's probably had a jump in A time.  I would try 2 hr 30 at the first A depending on how his night goes.  The routine looks pretty good to me, glad to hear that things are much better in the night!  Finn has decided to wake and we cannot figure out why.  Babies just keeping us all on our toes!!!

[Jenn+Ethan+Emily]

I will extend the A time this morning as we had a fairly good night. Ethan woke at midnight and then at 3:30 but still really good! I hope Finn decides to sleep again for you! I used to think that when babies slept through the night, it was something that they continued doing forever with maybe the odd night that they would wake up. But it definitely seems like babies have their own ideas in mind! Oh well, it is just amazing how much easier it is to have better habits during those NW's when the LO is sleeping for longer stretches. Now I am hoping he does not go back to waking every 45min or I won't know what to do!

I will post again to share how the day went with extending this morning A time.

Good luck with Finn!!!

[ryates71]

Hi Jenn,

Good to hear that things are still on the up.  I'm having a very frustrating day with my LO (after an early start).  Just when the nights seem to be getting better I'm finding his naps are a real battle - especially when they are all out of synch due to the early start.

Grrr Kids!  Who'd have 'em!  Sigh!

[Jenn+Ethan+Emily]

Haha, I know what you mean Rachel. When the morning doesn't start well, you just know your whole day is going to be off. Yesterday was just like every other day for us, exactly the same routine wise (except we extended that A time a little bit), yet Ethan decided to wake up every 45 min again last night! He is super confusing. On the bright side, I was out last night and Ethan went to sleep for DH within 15 min of him putting him to bed!

I hope that your day gets better and you have a good night with your LO!

[ryates71]

Thanks - you've made me smile.  Bad PMT today. :-(

[Jenn+Ethan+Emily]

Ugh, we are back to waking every 45 min at night. I am feeling like I cannot handle this again. So exhausted. I have bumped DS A times up to 2.5 hours now and his napping is still the same (waking for am nap at 45 min able to resettle for another 45 min, pm nap only getting 45 min, sometimes getting a 45 min CN). This is what EAS looks like now:

Wake at 6:45
E: breast and 5oz bottle at 6:45
E: solids at 7:30
A: until 9:15ish
S: until 10:45 ish resettling at 45min
E: 8oz bottle at 10:45
A: until 1:15ish
S: until 2:00 cannot resettle
E: 8oz bottle at 2:45
A: until 5:00 cannot get him to go for CN earlier then this.
S: 5:00 CN he fights me on this every time usually only last 25 min
E: solids at 5:30
A: bath. massage, stories
E: breast and 8oz bottle
S: asleep by 7:15


Last yesterday DS did not CN as he woke up later in the morning after a terrible night. He was cranky all day, from lack of sleep and teething. Gave him pain meds at night which did not seem to change anything so I am not sure what that was all about. He is thoroughly cranky this morning as he was wide awake for several hours in the middle of the night.

I do not think I can extend his morning A times anymore as 2.5hrs seems to be pushing him to the limit. I do not know how to help the nap times. Should I reduce his morning A time when his night was so terrible?

So So SO frusterating. I want to take DS to my Mum's house and go on a vacation right now! I feel like a complete wreck.

[Jenn+Ethan+Emily]

Ok, I was also just wondering...DS was born a month early. Should I be looking at A times for his actual age or from his due date age or does it even really matter as all babes are different?