9.5 month old waking & unable to settle for up to 2hrs in the night - help!

[linkaloo]

Hello all

Hoping someone can help me with this one all thoughts and advice/experience of other mums would be greatly appreciated!

We have a little boy who is 9.5 months old, very active - cruising, crawling v fast and very happy & chatty all day long. He goes down without a hitch at around 7.30pm every night (tea, books, bath, bottle, cuddle and into cot, maybe cries for 30 seconds and then goes straight to sleep)

However in the last 2 weeks he has started waking up in the night, it can be any time from 12.00 to 3am, and he is then awake and impossible to settle for up to 2 hours afterwards.

His cries wake me, I go in after it sounds like he won't settle back to sleep and I lay him back down from standing. After a few goes of this he might eventually stay layed down when I lay him rather than standing back up & crying. So then I keep a hand on his back or cheek until I hear little snores and then tiptoe to the door - as soon as I get to the door he cries again. No matter how silently I have crept out! Sometimes I just make it back to my bed when he cries out again. Repeat this 150 times!!

Last night this went on for 2.5 hours. During this time I tried my method above, tried cuddling, then gave dry nappy, then gave calpol in case it was teeth, an hour later it obviously wasn't teeth as it was still going on so eventually I gave him an 8oz bottle and he went back to sleep after that.

So I just don't know what it is. It could be 2 things? Hunger?! or separation anxiety?

He eats quite a lot in the day I think?:
7am - 7oz bottle & 4 tablespoons porridge with milk, half or whole banana
10am - snack (rice cake) and water
12 - lunch - 8 tablespoons of protein & carb like pasta bolognaise or chicken casserole & potato. Homemade. plus pudding - fruit or yogurt.
2.30pm - 6oz milk
5.30pm - tea - 6 tablespoons of carb & veg like mash potato & baked beans or cauliflour cheese on toast, pudding is fruit or yogurt, and a rusk to keep him busy while I cook my tea (normally eats 2)
7.30pm 7oz bottle milk.

He naps:
Either - a morning nap 10.30am of 1 hour and then 30min snooze in the afternoon at 3ish
OR
Stays awake til lunch, has lunch nap of 1 hour then won't nap til bedtime.

He doesn't sleep much - mummy is very tired!!

It would be great if anyone recognises what's happening here and can advise - do I need to give him more to eat in the day? Or perhaps he is anxious, when I leave the room in the day he gets quite upset, even when I put him in the car seat and shut the door he cries immediately until 5 seconds later I get into the front seat and reassure him. So I would never want to leave him to cry at night thinking where is mummy.

Or is it just that he is older now and getting wise to the fact that if he cries I will come in?! If I can't get in quick enough to him he cries like a goose honking like 'mum! mum! mum!' (he is not talking it just sounds like that) - doesn't sound like his normal crying but he gets really distressed with tears.

I know everyone's babies wake in the night but I cannot take this being up for 2 hours much longer, I am starting to feel ill in the daytime.

Thanks so much, sorry for long post
Linka xx

[clazzat]

Big (((hugs))) Linka.  It's so hard when they are up for hours in the night - believe me, I know!    I have had a similar experience with dd2, who is now 14 months.  I don't think I ever really got to the bottom of it, so I'm not sure that I can advise, but I am here to offer support.

Having said that, I would think that he is OT - 1-1.5 hours sleep is really not enough at his age, particularly in a 12.5 hour day.  dd2 still sleeps 2-2.5 hours (and she is now sleeping 11.5h at night) and I wouldn't say that she is particularly high sleep needs.  What has always worked for us is the short am/long pm rather than the other way round - 30 mins at about 9.15 (from 6am wake) then 2 hours from 12.30 with bed at 6.30.

Hopefully someone will be able to come along and give you some more expert advice. 

[linkaloo]

Thanks for a swift reply, it does help to have the support! I would agree he is OT, but he is quite difficult to get down for a nap in the day unless he's really worn out (eg if we have been to playgroup). Sometimes he feigns sleepiness but put him in the cot and he is like wide-awake boy.

Do you wake your DD2 from her morning nap in order to make it a short one? I am a bit scared of waking him and cutting the nap short when he does take it as there is the danger this sort of power nap will stop him wanting any more naps that day. Some days previously he has slept 30 mins 11-11.30am and then not again until bedtime despite me pushing in pram or trying him in the cot.

This morning I tried about 10.30 to get him to have a nap but after 30 mins of crying and laying him back down I gave up and he was so delighted to be out of his cot and so pleased that mummy had got him out he was doing clapping with glee!

I would be very keen to find out if this current issue is to do with daytime naps so any more advice will be lovely

Thanks so much

[clazzat]

I wake her from all her naps.  I know it's kind of scary when you're not sure if that 30 mins is going to be the only sleep they have all day, but it has worked for us.  I would wonder if there might be some value in trying to get him down for a short am nap a little earlier - that way he might be less likely to refuse the second one after a longer A.

[sweetsharon]

I don't feel so alone now!! My daughter (who is also 9.5 months) does the same thing. She does not want to take a nap all day. Then, she wakes up for up to 2 hours in the night after only 6.5 hours of sleep. I feel like I am going crazy. I have no break from her all day long and then minimal sleep at night. I know she is ready for a nap after 3-3.5 hours of being awake in the morning and I will get her all the way to sleep, but the instant her head hits her little bed, her eyes open and she is awake. She just refuses to stay laying down and will stand up and scream until I get her. Then, she is so cranky because she missed her nap. I feel so broken by all this and have had no help from anyone I know (All I hear is about how wonderful their babies sleep and how I must be crazy). Yes, I do feel crazy, but there must be help from me in getting her to sleep.

I appreciate you guys so much for taking time to read and respond.

[clazzat]

I think that you should have a look at the pu/pd threads, sweetsharon.  I have never tried it myself, but basically it is a tool to teach your child to sleep independently, and if she is standing and screaming then you lie her down and keep doing it until she falls asleep.

[annette.xx]

Hi there

just wanted to say hang in there...I have a feeling its a phase (or at least im hoping!!) my DD is 9 months and her day routine is good 2 fairly good naps and not going to bed OT but I too have numerous NW...last 2 wks have ranged from 2 NW to 12!!! had one night with no NW which was bliss but then back to loads again!!

my DD A time is 3 hr 15, I had cut her am nap to 1 hr a while back and routine was perfect and now im back to letting her sleep 1 hr 1/2 in the am just to avoid build up of OT...

so hard to know what to do...but my sister whos LO is 11 months assures me it gets better by itself...im not sure whether I beleive that but I live in hope!!

agree with PP about the PU/PD ...i had to use this at 7 months to re teach independant sleeping...it was only after she learnt this vital skill that she consistantly took naps...

but still she has the odd day where it all goes horribly wrong with 30 mins naps etc and I just adjust the day accordingly...so if the pm nap is 30 mins I bring bedtime forward to at least 45 mins earlier than normal... this is essential to avoid OT...

hope we get through this soon!!

Annette.xx