My 3 year old won't eat!

[jsawood]

Ever since my three year old was born she has been a bad eater. She had problems with her gag reflex the second she was introduced to baby food! Now that she is 3 I have to argue with her to eat. first of all I have to force her to take a bit by herself, then once she has a bite in her mouth it's a fight just to get her to chew and swallow it! I've tried everything from sticker charts, making it fun, letting her decided what she wants to eat, taking privledges away and nothing seems to work. she is only 23 pounds at three years old. I even have to give her breakfast shakes to get the extra calories in her. Anyone have any ideas on what to do?

[Dree]

You need to see her doctor. She might have sensory issues that both of you are not aware of. That is where I would start.

Dree

[jsawood]

Thanks, she has her 3 year check up in a month. I have brought it up to her Dr. several times but they have only told me to keep her on whole milk and and to supplement with like pediasure.  Once Dr. said there is a medication that I could giver her to make her have more of an appetite, but I honestly think that you shouldn't have to fill your child with meds to make them eat, there has to be an easier way! She rarely has good days, and most of the time she tells me she can't swallow it, but that can't be it b/c i've seen her do it. I hate t when people tell me that she'll eat when she's hungry, it's been 2 1/2 years since she started solid foods and she still doesn't eat!

[We Three]

Wow that is really tough. I agree to get her evaluated asap...she could have some sensory issues. In my experience, pediatricians don't know much about sensory issues at all.  Talk to your friends, your ped, even a local nursery school to find an OT/ST that specializes in oral motor and sensory issues. 

Have you noticed that she prefers to eat dry and crunchy things as opposed to soft and mushy? Try to see a pattern.

I have a nephew who has oral motor/sensory issues, and I know how much his Mom struggled and tried to get him help, it really is hard and you have to be a noisy, noisy Mom!!!  My nephew, he simply *can't* eat anything that isn't crunchy/dry/hard.  He just can't do it, it isn't behavioural at all, he would rather starve.

And if I may...please don't be offended, but I would steer clear of forcing. It will only make matters worse, and may cause her to lose trust in you.  While you search for help, look for any simlarity in the things she will eat....and them make those things the best they can be for her.  i.e., if she likes cake, make her healthy, hearty muffins. If she likes waffles, only offer the whole-grain kind with lots of fiber.

I know it's so hard.....she needs a bit of help.

[jsawood]

Thanks! Don't worry I don;t take offense to anything, I just truly am looking for the best advice, and I know that forcing is not a good idea. It's just that I get caught up in the moment and worry so much. Now that you mention it.....she never has a problem with hard crunchy things, but other textures she has eaten. I'm just not sure if she just doesn't want to eat them or if there really is an issue.

[Texomamama]

Shelby, I would echo what PP have said- make sure there is not a medical reason she is not eating.  Having said that, I have always found it interesting that when a child eats very little, they are described as a "bad" eater (while a kid that packs away anything and everything is a "good" eater).  I think it just perpetuates the thinking that lots=good and little=bad.  Just because your LO eats very little, does not necessarily mean there is anything wrong.  My 2 year old had her 24 mo check up today, and weighed only 21.5 pounds (she gained only 1.5 lbs in the past 6 months).  At that rate, she will probably be under 25 lbs when she is 3, so I can understand your concern.  She eats a wide variety of foods, she just eats very, very little.  She is absolutely healthy, happy and full of energy.  Her doctor has no concerns about her whatsoever.  I used to agonize and worry over her eating from the day she was born.  The more stressed I got, the worse she did, so I also encourage you to try and relax and don't force the issue.  I know it is hard, I can honestly say that nothing has given me more worry than the whole eating thing.  hang in there.

[mum101]

Another option i think could be good is seeing a nutritionist or dietician. Not for ideas on what to eat per say, but for ideas on behavioural stuff, and also if they have a lot of experience with kids (ask around) they might be able to help you if there is a texture issue. 

I think that would be great esp if you are not getting answers from doctors.

I was recommended a nutritionist for me, and she was awesome, she focused on not just food and other issues. I also asked for help with DD and she saw her and gave me great help.

[MLK]

I have a friend's whose daughter was born with oesaphagus problems, so she has difficulty chewing and swallowing. She has been helped by a speech pathologist - not who would immediately spring to my mind when food issues are concerned. Do you think that chewing and swallowing might be an issue?

[jsawood]

I very well think chewing and swallowing could be a problem, but im not sure if she actually can't or just doesn't want to eat!

[We Three]

A good speech therapist or OT who specializes in feeding issues will be able to determine how much of this is behavioral (if any) or if there are mechanical or sensory issues. I know for my nephew they watched him suck thru a straw, watched him chew and watched him swallow.

Interesting what you said about your dd preferring crunchy things...my nephew does too...they said it gives him the "feedback" he craves/needs.

Do they have Kashi where you live? In the US there is a cereal called "mighty bites" by Kashi...they are really healthy, and would go a long way nutrition-wise while you get this sorted.