Does Shh/Pat really work for all babies???

[ICCmommy]

Hi, I'm new and I've looked at other posts and the FAQ's, but I don't see my problem covered anywhere...my 9-week old daughter absolutely HATES Shh/Pat!

She's on a pretty good 3-hour EASY routine, with one exception...some days she is a really good napper, going down quietly and putting herself to sleep for about an hour. Other days (like today) she wants nothing to do with napping and the Shh/Pat seems to get her more agitated than anything. I can usually calm her with a cuddle and get her to sleep for 20 mins or so, but that's it and I know she is still tired because when I lift her out of the crib, her eyes are still heavy.

For the most part, she is a really good night-sleeper. She goes down between 8-9pm and sleeps until around 8am with a 1-2am and 5-6am feeding. We put her down at 8-9pm and after each feeding and she goes right off to sleep on her own.

Any suggestions? Are there any other options besides Shh/Pat? Has anyone else had a baby that Shh/Pat didn't work for??

[anna*]

It doesn't work for all babies. But there's usually some modification that does. For example, if she hates the pat, you could try a pat on her butt, a stroke on her back, a stroke of her hair, a firm hug. You can replace the shush with white noise turned up loud, with humming, with singing, or actually with silence.

It's also worth mentioning that if they're overtired before you start shush-pat, it's harder to make it work.

[~ Vik ~]

Just agreeing with Anna - shh/pat didn't work well for Dylan. We did some experimenting and found a shh/bum pat/jiggle with lullabies playing in the background that worked You may have to play a bit to find what works for your lo. The key though is them falling asleep in their crib not your arms (at least most of the time ) to help set the stage for independant sleep.

Hth

[~Sara~]

Completely agree with pps, some LOs need the tweaking

Do you mind posting what her day typically looks like (in EAS format)??  Just curious about that 20 minute nap...

[ICCmommy]

Sure, here it is...

8 - 8:30 - feeding
8:30-9-ish - pooping, changing and a bit of activity
9:15 - morning nap (this one is not usually a problem is she is tired from above A), most times she sleeps for 45-60 mins and I`m not sure if I should try getting her back to sleep then or get her up for some more A time...I do a little of both
11 - 11:30 - feeding
11:30 - 1pm - changing and A
1 - 2 - either an hour nap or a 20 min nap with me trying to get her back down for 40 mins
2 - 2:30 - feeding
2:30 - 4 - changing and A
4 - 5 - 20 min nap with me trying to get her back down for 40 mins
5 - 5:30 - feeding
5:30 - 7 - Activity (she usually will not sleep during this time)
7-7:30 - cluster feed
7:30 - 7:45  - bath or cuddle with daddy
8pm - bed
9pm - cluster feed
11pm - dream feed (not really successful because she doesn`t want to wake up, but she gets a bit)
1 or 2am - feeding
4 or 5am - feeding
8am - we start all over again!

[anna*]

Basically we're aiming for naps to be 1.5-2 hrs. If the nap is shorter than that, the next awake time will need to be shorter. So at 9 months, 1hr and 15 mins is probably a good amount of awake time (that includes feeding, changing, activity, winding down - everything from eyes open to eyes shut). If she naps for 1hr, I'd cut the next A(awake) down to 1hr. If she naps even less, bring the A down correspondingly.

From your routine above it looks like she's getting progressively more overtired as the day goes on. The first A is good, but for the next one (if she naps at 9.15 for an hour), she's awake 2hrs 45 mins which is way too long, and will make it much harder for her to settle. I would spend a few days trying to make sure she is never awake more than 1hr and 15-20 mins - and even less than that after a short nap - and see how you get on.

Re your cluster feed, I would drop the 9pm feed and just do the dreamfeed, it's not generally recommended to continue to cluster feed after about 6 weeks because it can encourage snacking. That might encourage her to take more at 11 too.

Hope that helps

[ICCmommy]

Thank you!!

I`ll give it a try and let you know how it goes!