Newborn on EASY: Am I doing it right???

[enya977]

Hi Guys,
I have a lovely 3wk old baby I believe he's an angel baby, he pretty much put himself in a routine from day 3 and from day 5 he's been sleeping through the night however the oddly occasion when he doesn't I get worry that I'm messing his schedule without not realising it?? He follows the three hour routine starting at 7am with a first feed, but 'cause he is a very good sleeper I usually find myself waking him up to eat which ends up with me having to change his nappy before eating to fully awake him otherwise he will fall asleep with just a couple of mouthfulls; after he finishes eating he's already asleep again and doesn't get any activity time.
We are also doing the bath later in the day at 9.30approx as my husband really wanted to do it but he gets home around 8.30 and very hungry thus he will have something to eat first and then we bath baby, give him a back massage, swaddle sing a lullaby, feeding and then off to bed, which sometimes doesn't really work with baby waking up crying every 20 mins untill around 11.30 to middnight not being able to fall asleep. Last night we were up till 2am which is very rare but there was no way he was going to sleep, I ended up bringing him to bed with me until he was fully asleep and them put him into his bed, some other times he will only nap 20mins at a time, this is not the rule as he is usually pretty good but I'm feaking out a bit as I don't know if I'm doing some accidental parenting that I'll regret later?? please, please help!!

[*Jo*]

hi there, congrats on your little one!! 3 weeks old is such a precious time, dont stress too much about not having any A time, at this age they just dont have the stamina for it. It will all come soon enough!!
I would strongly advise against the bath at 9.30 though, i know your DH really wants to do it after he gets home but its really for the best that once he is in bed for the night (12 hours after his wake up time) that you dont wake him up, if his night sleep is disrupted you will end up with LOTS of night wakings. Is your DH able to give your DS a bath in the mornings instead of at night?? I know its hard when you want them to spend time together but its just not fair on your little one to expect them to stay up that late.

can you post your routine in EASY format for us to have a look at??

[enya977]

Hi and thank you  so much for answering, this is how our EASY looks like at the moment we will change bath time to an earlier time

E 7:00   Feed
A 7:35   Diaper change, playing and singing
S 8:15   Swaddle and lay down
Y 8:30   sleep
E 10:00  Feed. If too sleepy change nappy first
A 10:45  burp sit in his chair with teddy
S 11:30  2nd morning nap.
Y 11:30  have a shower get dressed
E 1:00   Feed change nappy if too sleepy first.
A 1:25   too sleepy to play
S 2:15   Afternoon nap.
Y 2:30   have some lunch
E 4:00   Feed.
A 4:45  if not too sleepy to feed change nappy
S 5:15  nap
Y 5:30  watch some tv
E 7:00  feed.
A 7:35  play time in the chair with teddy bear
S 7:45  nap.
Y 8:00  dinner.
E 9:00  feed.
A 9.30  Bath, nappy changing, massage, lullaby singing
S 9.45  swaddle and put into bed.
Y 10.00 watch some tv with dh
   11.00 Feed change nappy if too wet sleep till morning

Unfortunately the last three days hasn't work all that well as my lo sleeps only for 20mins or less and won't go to sleep until midnight; he has also woken up a couple of times during the night the first night woke up a 3am and then continued sleeping till 7am, the night after woke up twice and last night three times at 1am, 2.30am and 5am all to feed I ended up putting him into bed with us at 5am as it seems he settle better when is between us, I also admitted I was being a bit selfish as well as I wanted to sleep a bit and thought he will sleep a bit longer but woke up at 7am hungry as usual.
I'm just worried that because I have trouble sticking to EASY perfectly I will ended up doing some accidental parenting. I also use PU/PD when he can't settle to sleep I mean when he's crying to loud, which calms him right away then wait until he's a bit sleepy again and put him down but he will wake up a couple of mins after and we do it all over again
grrrr not sure if this is working really EASY is not that easy
got to go lo is crying again
thanks a lot
 

[*Jo*]

ok, his Awake time is far too long, the amount of time you want him to be awake is only 50-60mins MAX at this age, that means "eyes open to eyes closed" so its literally wake up, feed, nappy change, quick cuddle and back into bed for a two hour sleep. If you keep him awake any longer than that you will end up with an Overtired baby who will only sleep short amounts of time and be crabby while he is awake and will also start waking multiple times in the night as he is unsettled.
as for being selfish and wanting sleep, fair enough!! you just had a baby, of course you want sleep!! but i would definately NOT use Pu/Pd, its onlyl meant for babies over 4 months old and even then only as a last resort, its too stimulating for them under the age of 4 months and i feel too hard on their little bodies to be picked up and put down over and over again, shh/pat is perfect for him right now

[enya977]

Are you able to give me an example on how put him back to sleep right away as I don't think he really wants to he's wide awake: for example now he hasn't sleep more than 20 mins in an space of 1 to 2 hours since after his feed this morning at 7am and is 13.48 now, and he won't go to sleep he's not crying his eyes out but he is crying a bit, what should I do?? BTW he's totally messed up his EASY routine by now, as he wants to feed more often as well... not sure how to get him on track

[*Jo*]

do you know how to do shh/pat? thats usually the most effective way to help them to sleep
I know you probably dont have alot of time to read but try and check these out:

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=64275.0

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=85500.0

[enya977]

Hi again, I've been trying the shush-pat since I've read your email (about 3 hrs ago) and we haven't managed more than 10 mins sleep at best, when he jolts he really looks like he's in pain and the crying is not the same as his ussual I'm hungry in fact is one we never heard before till now (and is breaking my heart ) Don't really know why are we going backwards he never had any sleeping problem before or needed any help to go to sleep napping or bedtime he's always been a good sleeper ... do you think it might be the times I let him sleep in my chest or in our bed? I can't stop thinking this is my fault I did something to my baby which damaged his sleeping patterns and I don't really know how to go back to normal and my poor lo is so so tired

[*Jo*]

oh hun, big hugs!! i dont think those things wouldve had an affect on him yet, hes still so young, too young to have created a bad habit, we didnt even start BW until Caleb was nearly 4 weeks old and there were no issues for us. if he is jolting its because he is OT, is this jolting you are talking about while you are shh/patting?
antoehr few questions:

is he swaddled?
takes a dummy/paci?
room darkened?

I know it sounds horrible for right now but do what ever it is you need to do to get him to sleep today, let him sleep on you etc, start afresh tomorrow, you havent damaged his sleeping patterns, its just a hiccup in the road. if he wakes through the night then do shh/pat (unless he needs a feed) do it until he falls back asleep and tomorrow morning when you start the day do the A time i suggested

so if he wakes up at 7am tomorrow then feed him, change his nappy, do wind down and have him back into his bed ready to fall asleep by 7.50am, this allows 10 mins for him to fall asleep (or if you need to do shh/pat because he wont go to sleep this gives you some time to do this as well)
let him then sleep for two hours, if he wakes up before that then do shh/pat to help him sleep longer, do this over and over again for the whole day until 7pm when its bedtime for the night, do not wake him up after 7pm until 7am the next morning.

let me know how you get on

[enya977]

Hi Jo,
Thank you so much for encouranging me through the day yesterday,you kept me sane we finally made it ... barely ... our poor lo was so OT but finally calmed down after his bath although still took us until 11pm to get him to sleep but he was so tired he slept to 7am. Today is been much better he is still crying to sleep but at least is sleeping a bit longer between 30 to 45 mins each time, he does still wakes upbefore his feeding time and i do think he's hungry before 3 hours i've managed to take him to the feeding time twice but this last one he wasn't waiting so i had to feed him a 3.30pm instead of 4pm, he also does not feed for 45mins he rarely does more than 30mins, could that be the reason why he can't wait three hours between feeds, or is it the quality of my milk I BF or it might be that he falls asleep during feeds??
In answer to your questions we do swaddle everytime, he doesn't really take the paci but yesterday we were forcing it to him a bit and I've been doing it today as well but he only take it for a bit and his room is now very dark.
 

[*Jo*]

oh dear, sounds like you had a rough day yesterday, if you think its a BF issue, perhaps post on teh breasfeeding boards? they will be able to help alot more than i can

so today hes only been having 30-45min naps? are you able to extend those naps? especially after only having 8 hours night sleep i think hes stuck in a bit of an OT cycle at the moment which we really do need to gt him out of

[enya977]

We've managed an hour and now are trying for the whole night sleep again so far DH and I have managed three trips back into lo's room after 10mins naps (he just finished 8pm cluster feed) hopefuly will make it to 10pm at least for dream feed; should i wake him up for the feed? As i found he will only take a couple of mouthfulls if too deep into his sleep?we really hope for a good night sleep for all

[*Jo*]

if he will only take a small amount at the DF then perhaps hes just one of those babies that wont take a DF, if hes in too much of a deep sleep then perhaps wait until 10.30 and try again, if hes still in too much of a deep sleep then just leave him

[enya977]

wow another day has passed and unfortunately we didn't managed to get to the 10.30 DF little Lucca kept waking up every 10mins, I think DH was about to explode the last couple of times he went to our lo's room wearing headphones (but he's being wonderful much more patient than I thought) Lucca didn't sleep more than 10mins each time and went all the way to 11pm had another cluster feed at 9.45pm and a DF which wasn't really dream one as he was still awake at 11 and from then he finally went to sleep untill 7am today.
DH goes to work at 8am so after his feed we put our lo with us in bed so he can play a bit with him just talking to him and doing some silly faces, after DH gets up for work Lucca and I go for a 2 hour sleep until his next feed, which is usually in our bed him next to me falls asleep with no struggle, no need for swaddle or anything he just close his eyes and goes to sleep.
I have just finished the 10am feed and activity and at the first yawn I have swaddle and put him into bed, but after just 10mins he started crying again, I waited a bit and when the cry escalated I went in there and pat (as i don't think he likes the shush) he went to sleep again but not only five mins and he started crying again; I did this about three times the last one I put the paci on him which I think he's still sucking as is been 10mins and no cries yet, will wait and see
I still don't understand how we went from no need of shush-pat at all or any other method to needing them all out of no-where ... maybe my baby is not an angel baby after all
He's just waken up again

[*Jo*]

hmmm im thinking that perhaps having him sleep with you is becoming a prop, if he sleeps easily with you but not without you then this is usually the case, how often do you sleep with him?

[enya977]

Just after the 7am feed, we have being doing this since he came home with us, is sort of a routine as well, but all the other times he slept in his bed and a couple of occasions he slept in my chest (not really because he wanted but because i needed it, you know what i mean??)
Now i didn't managed to make him sleep and it was 12.10 very close to his next feed and his was crying really loud so I lifted him out of his bed to confort him and he starting looking for my breast so I assumed he was hungry, he ate from 12.19 to 12.39 and felt asleep but because he didn't sleep at all before and I didn't wanted to have an OT baby I left him sleep in my chest again ( sorry I know is bad) now is 1pm he should be eating but i'm not sure if I should wake him up as he already had some food before, but if I don't I will probably messed up he whole routine for the day.... gosh this is so much difficult than I thought