Why Can't I Fix This?

[WhisperingHush]

My lo will be two weeks old tomorrow.  He appears to have been born confusing day for night.  Ever since he came home, he is impossible to wake in the day and restless at night.  At first, I followed BW advice and fed him ever 2 hours in the day in an attempt to get him awake.  I also never let him nap in quiet or dark etc.  I did this for about a week and a half with little results.  I then became worried that he wasn't eating enough during the day because he simply was not hungry after just 2 hours (he was born over 9 pounds!).  Anyway, I adjusted his daytime schedule to 2.5 to 3 hour intervals.  And I am even some days able to get those eyes open for an hour of A time after feeds.  Still, beginning around 10 p.m. he is up every 2 hours.  He hardly eats.  If he is in his crib, he is noisy or flat out crying.  He is a completely different person during the day except for the first 3 hour interval of the day when he is able to be awake, get overstimulated and then not nap.  It's awful.  Why can't I seem to fix this?  Any ideas?

[~Sara~]

Hi hon!  *hugs* I know it's so hard when they're so little and everything (to both of you) is so new.

First of all, it's completely natural for your LO to start taking his feeds farther apart.  So, rest assured that he's eating plenty if he's able to last 2.5-3 hours in between feeds; he's probably an efficient eater, too   If you're breastfeeding, your body will produce more at those E times to fill his tummy.  Plus, being a bigger baby means that metabolically, he doesn't need to eat every 2 hours anymore.

Secondly, it's okay to let your LO sleep in a dark room during the day.  In fact, that will probably help his sleep get better.  You're helping to set the day vs. night stage by not letting him sleep for too long during the day, i.e. waking him at the E time, and letting him go longer stretches at night.  From personal experience, it took us a couple of months to clue into the fact that part of our nap problems were because DS's room was too bright.

At 2 weeks of age, your baby will probably be able to only stay awake about 10-15 minutes after a feed (total of about 50-60 minutes).  Also, just remember that the A time actually includes the E time, so basically an A time is from eyes open to eyes shut.

Here are some great links re: sleep:
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=64158.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=85130.0

Could you post what yesterday looked like for your LO?  I think that what's happening is that your son is getting a bit overtired (OT) and so his sleep is more restless.

Let's see what insight we can gain from that and go from there!  Hang in there, we're here to help

[WhisperingHush]

Thanks for the response!  The good thing here is that this is my third BW kid and I get to look at my other two and know that I can fix this.  (Just a little frustrated by how hard it is each time!)  Anyway, here was yesterday:

6:30 is our wake time so I wake him to eat then dress him and have him sit in kitchen with us.  At about 7:45 (which I agree is quite a lot of wake time), I take him to crib after swaddling and he is OT.  So, I end up sitting with him with his thumb in his mouth so he can get some rest.

9:30 E and awake for a bit (sorry I do not remember how long b/c I then put him in stroller and took for a walk to get sunshine - we live in the freezing cold and dark, ugh)

12:15 I woke him for E.  After that he would not have any A time and was very sleepy during E.

3:00 I woke him for E.  He was then crabby and I had to hold him until 5:30 (next E time) so he could get some rest.

5:30 E then bath then bed.  He cried in my arms until 6:50 when I finally put him in crib.  He cried a bit more, but went to sleep.

9:40 woke for E and went back in crib without too much trouble.

11:15ish (I smell trouble b/c he is grunting and doing little cries.  I notice he has spit up and crib is wet around his head.  I note that he hardly ever spits up in daytime.  This is weird for me b/c my girls were projectile vomiters.)  I feed him and fix crib.)

1:15ish (trouble again and I'm beginning to think it's the spitting up and wet crib waking him.  I feed him, but focus more on fixing crib and elevating him more)

4:15 (Good!  Wakes for E and never really goes back to sleep until I hold him b/c more spitting up.)

[WhisperingHush]

Last night was a nightmare!  He ate at 5:30 and had his bath.  He cried very little after bath and I put him in his crib very calm at about 6:20.  He slept until 9:00 (excellent!).  At 9, I fed him and then, on the advice of a friend who has a boy, held him upright against my shoulder for 10 minutes when he was done eating b/c she said some boys have immature gastric muscles at birth and this can cause the spitting up problems that I was noticing.  I then put him back in his crib.  At 11, he was sputtering and crying.  I knew he was not hungry from past nights so I held him upright for a while and he fell asleep.  I put him back in crib and he started groaning etc. (I have his crib mattress on a super incline to help with the spitting up issue, but I guess it isn't helping???).  Still crying by 12 (and now my middle daughter is crying from being woken up by baby).  I feed him at about 12, but he doesn't even seem that interested and now the crying really begins.  By, I think, around 2 or 3 (I'm delirious now, sorry), I feed him again.  He is crying.  I try sitting in the chair with him (no), I try sitting on the couch with him (no), I sit up in my bed with him and he still is crying and struggling and complaining all the way until our 6:30 wake time!  I do not want babies in my bed!!!!!!  What do I do to get this kid to sleep in his crib?

[anna*]

It sounds to me like he's in a lot of pain/discomfort and there's no way he's going to be able to settle until that is fixed. Have you considered whether he might have some reflux? http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=654.0

[~Sara~]

I think the pps' advice is great!  Have you talked to your doctor about the possibility of him having reflux?

[WhisperingHush]

I seriously doubt reflux though because I did an experiment yesterday.  I put him to sleep in his crib for naps yesterday and he slept beautifully with no problems.  I can't imagine that reflux can only exist between certain hours of the night.  Stacy, I did the day/night thing that BW recommends and that you also did, but it didn't seem to fix the night.  My middle daughter had days/nights switched and I saw more progress doing that with her.  I feel like I've hit a wall as far as ideas go on this issue.  My oldest was textbook about everything.  Of course, now with two other ones running around, I can't get more than an hour of sleep at a time at night.  Awful!

[Tweakster]

Hi there, can you post yesterday's routine with the beautiful naps.  Reading your posts and the amount he is crying it does sound like discomfort at night.  Reflux comes in many flavours, for us Finn did better at night but during the day was a nightmare.  Lots of mums have reported that sometimes it is worst at night.  It doesn't mean it doesn't exist during the day, it just means that certain conditions aggravate it more.  Is he on his back to sleep?

Are his bowels regular?  Do you detect that he might be gassy or having trouble with his digestion?

Does he take a paci?  Will he sleep in a swing or sling/carrier?  It might help alleviate your need to hold him all the time and it works well for 'fluxers.  He is still so so new and these are habits (props) that can be weaned at a much later date.

[WhisperingHush]

Hi.  I tried putting him in his carseat after feeds at night starting two nights ago and it seems to be helping.  He still woke last night every 2 1/2 hours like clockwork.  I would feed him then put him in the carseat (which I put in the crib) and he would sleep without crying.  I spoke to the pediatrician who said I could try an antacid, but I'm reluctant to do that.  My middle daughter was such a huge projectile vomiter and we got through it without "medication."  Did you guys try antacid?  What do you think?  I was noticing something in my notes.  Usually during the day I will have him sitting upright for about an hour after a feed before I lie him down in the crib.  This morning he yawned at 7:20 (our wake time is 6:30) so I put him in his crib and he cried, slept for about 1/2 an hour then woke crying again.  I went and held him until the next E time (actually I moved E time up as well).  It is beginning to seem like he needs to be upright after a feed for at least an hour.  But why do you think he wakes every 2 1/2 hours at night even when I have him upright?  He doesn't need to eat so often in the day.  I often have to wake him at the 3 hour mark in the day to eat.  I remember my first woke quite often in the night in the beginning, but then did much better later.  Can't rememeber how long it took to get there though.  Anyone think I'll see this constant need to eat at night drop off sometime soon?  My first slept through the night (from bedtime at 6:30 to 6:30 a.m. with only a dream feed) at 9 weeks and my second girl at 14 weeks (or maybe slightly sooner, but I was depressed it took so long  .  I was hoping this baby would be more like my first!

[Tweakster]

Hi there, lots of babies have reflux and are 'happy spitters' that is that they do not have the excess acid production that causes true acid reflux.  My DS is on medication and to be honest, I am not sure we could have gotten through it without. The difference for my son was night and day.  I think it's worthwhile considering medication if the situation warrants it and your LO is in genuine pain/discomfort.

[WhisperingHush]

Thank you.  I will consider it.  Last night, I had him in the carseat for the entire night rather than trying the crib first.  He slept from 6:30 to 9:45 (having eaten before bath at 5:30) so that is awesome!  Then he woke at 12:15, but when I got him up to eat he was basically asleep.  I do breastfeed so it's pretty impossible to feed a kid that's completely asleep.  I tried though.  Then, he woke to eat at 3:00.  At 5:15 a.m., he started making noises, but I was able to get him to stay in bed (i.e. carseat) until our 6:30 wake time.  I have to say that's a pretty good night considering....  I hope to start pumping and doing the df in another 2 weeks.  Maybe last night was just luck though.  We'll see.....