Feeling miserable already.....only 3 days in

[Nickij]

Baby Jack is 6 weeks old and this week have tried to start the "Easy Routine"

My problem is most of the time he does fall asleep on the boob, although sometimes he does fall asleep being held etc. These past two weeks he seems to get very agitated in the evening, and has been difficult to get to sleep.

I have been trying the shh/ pat and trying to get him to fall asleep in his moses basket. I was sucessful a couple of times, but this is when he had already been dropping off in my arms. Today I have tried the shh pat, and i have just got so stress.

After his 4pm feed today he "played" for a bit, and then started looking tired, so I took him upstairs. The shh/Pat seems to calm him down but he wouldn't go to sleep. I then bought him back down at 6pm and feed him again and gave him a bath, and gave him cuddles.

Took him back upstairs about 7pm and tries until 8.15pm to get him to sleep. Again unsuccessful. In the end I fed him again as the poor little mite had been awake since 3pm and was exhausted.

I really want to get him into a "good routine" and don't want him to only be able to go to sleep on the boob, especially as i am planning on stopping breastfeeding at 3-4months.

However after 3 days of trying to do EASY I find I am more stressed and miserable than I was before. I am now wondering weather not to tried getting him into better sleep practices until he is a bit older as I now feel totally exhausted after 4 hours of trying to get him to sleep and then still giving him the boob........

[Nickij]

And now he is awake again:( I just want to cry...

[~Sara~]

Hi hon...*hugs*  Hang in there!  We're here to help

First of all could you post his routine?  It sounds like he's overtired or overstimulated throughout the day, and especially at night--he just can't calm down enough to drift off.  Seeing his routine will help us know where to tweak it.

Also, some babies are sleepy eaters, especially if they're breastfed.  That's how my baby is, too.  Even at 6 months.  Try keeping him awake during his feed.  If you can't wake him, take him off the breast for about 10 minutes (enough time for the oxytocin to wear off--it's the hormone in breastmilk that makes them sleepy), and then try to feed again.

Just remember to give both you and your LO a chance to get used to an EASY routine, okay?  He's still such a young little guy, and he's still figuring this whole thing called Life out.  You're doing a great job with trying to get him to be an independent sleeper...it's just a learning process.  You're miles ahead of where I was when DS was only 6 weeks old.  He didn't start EASY until almost 8 weeks.

So, let's start there, okay?  We'll get this all sorted out

[Nickij]

Ok well I have had such a stressful day today I have not been good about writing down times but i did yesterday so I will post that

E: 7.15 -  7.25 Didn't really seem that hungry and still quite sleep
A: 7.30 - 8.15 Cuddles nappy change and dressed
E 8.15 - 8.30  Seemed hungry now
S: 8.30 - 10-30

E 10.30 - 10.45
A: 10.45 - 11.00 nappy change and tummy time - seemed very tired and started nodding off
S: 11.15 - 12.40 - woke several times

E 12.55 - 1.20
A: 1.20- 1.40 nappy change ready to go out to doctors
S: 1.40-2.10 - fell asleep in the car on the way to doctors
A: 2.20-2.30 awake at doctors
S: 2.40 - 3.50 fell asleep in the car on the way home

E:15.50-16.10
A: 16.10 - 17.10 tummy time and cuddles
S Tried for and hour to get to sleep with Shh Pat -  did not sleep (17.10 - 18.00)

E: 18.15- 18.45
A:18.45- 19.30
S 19.30 -  20.30

E: 20.30 - 9.10
A: 9.10-9.30 - bath  -  we normally do this between 18.00 and 19.00 but things went wrong
S: Again tried to get to sleep but not sucess:(

E: 10.30-11.00
A: Cuddles
S: Eventually fell asleep about 12

E: 4.30
A: None
S: 5.00-800

Normally he wake up early in the night for a feed around 3 -  but he seemed to sleep longer last night.

[~Sara~]

I just got on here to reply and my LO decided to wake up screaming...but, in the meantime, here are some links that I think will help you out *hugs*

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63243.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=65842.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=65944.0

I WILL come back!

[Nickij]

Thanks for the links and your help:)

Today has been a little better
 he has pretty much fallen asleep on his own though but not in his crib but EASY has gone slightly better. However we have let him fall asleep down here with us -  I just found yesterday so stressful with the shh/ pat -  also in the morning he just wouldn't stay awake!

Today has been

E: 7.00am -  7.20am
S: 7.20am - 8.00am - fell straight back to sleep and couldn't rouse him
A: 8.00am - 9.30am -  dressed, and cuddle and then played in bouncer for a bit (fell asleep in there  -  bad I know )
S: 9.30am - 10.40am

E: 10.40am -  11.00 am
A: 11.00am - 11.10am Nappy change -  still very sleepy and fell straight back to sleep
S: 11.10am -  1pm

E: 1pm - 1.15pm
A: 1.15pm - 1.45pm -  Nappy change and cuddles
S 1.45pm -  3.15pm (fell asleep in daddys arms)

E:3.30pm-3.45pm
A: 3.45pm - 4.00pm
S: 4.00pm - 4.15pm  -  did not seem to want to go back to sleep
A: 4.15pm- 6pm - did not seem to want to go to sleep -  happy to sit on daddy and in bouncer

E: 6pm -  6.25pm
A: 6.25 - 7pm Bath and dressed ready for bed
S: 7.30pm (took him upstairs and this time tried shh/pat -  fell asleep in my arms though -  if I put him in his crib before he started crying.

Looking at the past couple of days it looks like he is very sleep in the morning with little activity -  it is hard to keep him awake in the mornings -  early afternoon. Then he seems to have a long period of being awake from 3.30 ish to about 8pm -  very difficult to get him down to nap at these times.

I am wondering if I should work on getting the timing of his day better -  more activity spread out. And then when that is sorted work on getting him to fall asleep independently  -  I am wondering if I am trying to put to much pressure on myself getting it all sorted at once?

How can I work out getting his naps spread out?

[~Sara~]

I'm glad you felt better about your day

He does seem like a very sleepy baby...do you think he has his days and nights switched?

I know it's hard to rouse him, but try everything you can.  Sit him up--most LOs can't sleep like that.  Stand up with him, go outside, walk around the house, do a diaper change.  You just really need to keep persisting with separating his Es and Ss.  That's the only way to get a bit more A time in before his naps.  Granted, at his age, there isn't going to be much time after he eats to do anything before wind down routine and then asleep.

Don't let him sleep past a feed.  For example: the first morning nap, he slept 40 minutes past his E time.  You'll need to wake him up at 10.  This will help to keep his daytime sleep in check, so that it doesn't start detracting from his nights.

I'm not exactly sure why his evenings are so difficult.  He does sound OT (overtired) and/or OS (overstimulated) by then.  Until the late afternoon/evening naps get sorted out, try keeping that time really, really low-key.  I would even go so far as to suggest not giving a bath right before bed as it might be too stimulating and he can't calm down.  Maybe try it in the AM, when it's harder for him to stay awake.

Maybe even try an a bit earlier bedtime if you know he needs to catch up on his sleep.

I still think his A times are a tad short for the early part of the day, which is another reason I think you should keep trying to keep him awake a teeny bit longer, just so that he takes a longer nap.  Any naps shorter than ~1h-1h10 are not restorative enough, and your LO won't feel rested.  That can lead to an OT end of the day, even though you think your baby has slept well prior.

I am wondering if I should work on getting the timing of his day better -  more activity spread out. And then when that is sorted work on getting him to fall asleep independently  -  I am wondering if I am trying to put to much pressure on myself getting it all sorted at once?

As I mentioned above, I think that, yes, this will help a lot.  You can start working on independent sleep now by using shh/pat.  Have you tried using that yet?  Here's a good description:
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=26672.0

[Nickij]

Yes I have been trying shh/pat -  thats one of the reasons I got so stressed yesterday as I was trying it for about 3 hours on a off and he just wouldn't go down:(.

I think it may have his days and nights a bit skewed, as although he does sleep fairly well from about 12am to - 6am (usually up for one feed around the 3am), he seem to be pretty much constantly awake from around 4pm to 10pm and this would be better if it was in the middle of the day. I find it really hard to get him to nap at these times.

I do try to keep him awake in the morning, but he just won;t rouse often after sleeping, Bar shouting in his ear I am not sure what to do to keep him more awake. He will sleep through nappy changing etc...He will perfectly happily sleep sitting up too, when he falls asleep while feeding and I sit him up to burp him he often just staying snoring his little head off!!

How can I try and get his days and nights turned around?

thanks again for your help x

[~Sara~]

he seem to be pretty much constantly awake from around 4pm to 10pm and this would be better if it was in the middle of the day. I find it really hard to get him to nap at these times.

Well, no baby his age should be awake for 6 hours straight...that in fact doesn't happen until well into 2nd year.  His sleep window is either being missed/his naps aren't restorative enough, and he's OT; or he's getting OS, refusing to go to sleep, and then ends up OT.  At his age, LOs still need to be taught how to go to sleep and how to structure their day.

If his days and nights are switched, the best thing to do to help him out is to not let him sleep past an E time.  That means naps are limited to 2 hours.  A good rule of thumb is that all naps (besides the catnap) are between 1.5-2 hours long.

Other things to try are to try wiping his face with a cool washcloth and taking him outside into the sun (it gets some of the daytime hormones going to help his body learn that it's time to be awake).

Yes I have been trying shh/pat -  thats one of the reasons I got so stressed yesterday as I was trying it for about 3 hours on a off and he just wouldn't go down:(.

Sorry, I couldn't remember and I thought I'd looked at the backposts to check.  My apologies.  Is the way that shh/pat is described there sound like what you're doing?  When do you start doing the wind down routine and shh/pat, i.e. how much time do you take before he needs to be asleep to do this?

He is still very young, so it might take him a while to get used to being on EASY.  I'm just saying this so that you don't feel like if his days aren't perfect (few are anyways ), that it's not your fault!  He might just be a really sleepy baby.  Was he born early or have low birth weight??  Those might affect him, too.