Re: sleeping less and less - 16 mo off track

[mmom]

I guess it will be no surprise when I say that we had a NW'ing at 10.  What made it worse was that DH and I fought about it.  I implied that I was right when I said my LO needed to go to bed early and that the NW'ing was OT related.  DH got mad and said it could be teeth and that I can't blame him when our LO wakes. So, that was fun.  To make matters worse, when our LO was screaming, DH kept picking him up and calming him, which just started the process all over again.  I don't normally interrupt when DH is handling a NW'ing, but I finally said that he has to sit there and talk to him without picking him up.  Once he let him go, it took another 20 minutes before our LO fell asleep.  So even though he woke at 6:35 this morning it was still only an 11 hour night.

I am thinking of playing the nap by ear this morning.  But a part of me wants to run out and get a few things done.  The store I want to go to doesn't open until 10, so I don't know if it is even worth it, if I need to try an early nap.

[mmom]

We got a 1.5 hour nap again today.  Do I just assume that this is good and normal for my LO?  With him sleeping 11 hours at night and taking a 1.5 hour nap every day, he is only getting 12.5 hours in a 24 hour period.

[babybarr]

Well that's better than our 40min nap 

DS definitely has some teeth activity going on.  One bright red cheek - he never normally has red cheeks ever even with his other teeth!

I think see how you go tonight.  I guess if he consistently does an 11 hr night and 1.5hr nap and seems happy then it'll be fine.

Xx

[mmom]

Yuck - 40 minutes!! I hope your LO gets some sleep tonight!

[babybarr]

YUCK YUCK YUCK!!  We had awful night - to be expected after that awful nap.  I'm just hoping he'll decide to catch up today, he does eventually decide to have a catch up I just hope it's sooner rather than later!  That tooth is definitely bothering him so I know that's not helping!

How was your night?

I'm pleased things have been getting better for you.  I was thinking last night, if he continues to take a "good" nap and do 11hr nights then maybe you could push his day back by 5mins every 3 days?  I know it's slow but I figured he may be able to grow into those marginally longer A times and hopefully start to give you a later wake up.

[Mashi]

Kara I do think that 12.5 hours is low, but if you can keep the 11 hour night consistent he may start to increase the length of that nap.  It does take some LOs a bit of time to get the nap length where it needs to be.  AND an 11 hour night is really good for him, isn't it?  I mean, it is much better than it was! And if you can keep a consistent bedtime and wake time, then the nap may sort itself out.

I have found it is a constant balance here....I can get 12 hour nights, even 12.5 after a short nap day.  BUT then after a 12.5 hour night, I can't expect him to sleep 2 hours in the day....so we get a shorter nap, which means an early bedtime and long night, and it just gets to be a circle.  I find a constant balance between needing him to make up the sleep at night but not make it up TOO much.

I would play your nap by ear today, aiming for the same appx timings as you had yesterday to get the 1.5 hour nap and the same for bed. I would brush off the NW to teething pains not sleep related and keep at what you are doing for a couple more days and see if the consistency gets you further ahead.

HTH?

[mmom]

Today is a disaster.  Of course when someone else has to watch my LO for the day, we get an EW.  He was asleep by 6:45 last night and woke at 5 this morning.  I was hoping that he was going to go back to sleep, but nope!!  I had to fly out of my house early this morning and I was hoping that he would fall asleep in the car, but he didn't.  My FIL is watching him and I told him my LO is tired, so put him down as early as he needs to go down, even if it is 9:30.  But I did say make sure he is down no later than 10:45 no matter what!!  Well, DH called me at 12 and said that my FIL got confused and thought that I said if he isn't down by 10:45, then don't put him down.   DH was in the neighborhood and stopped by and got him down.  But it was over a 7 hour A.  So we will see what kind of nap we get.  I know we will need an early bedtime regardless, because of the super long
A in the morning.

Laura, I am sorry about your bad night!! I hope your LO gets some rest today.

Mashi, I have read that a lot of times it takes a while for that nap to lengthen.  But how do I stay consistent with times, when the wake up time is always different?  Actually, every day is different and it makes it very hard for consistency.  But yes, 11 hour nights are GREAT for us.

[Mashi]

Not sure, LOL! It is a very fine balance between extending the A times and keeping them short enough to not get OT. 

Do you still try to resettle him at 5am?  Any reason for thinking that these are EWs that say "I'm ready to get up" rather than EWs that are because of pain, discomfort, natural restlessness at that age, etc, and he really is not done his sleeping?  It could just be habit, the getting up at that time. It is such a natural time for restlessness, that if he has learned or is learning that when he gets to this semi-awake state it is time to get up, then he may never break it. Where if he learns that he needs to resettle, then he eventually will on his own.

We did go through the 5am problems at about 10-11 months and I was adamant with resettling him - absolutely 100% no getting out of bed at that time. No way.  Eventually he got so used to being resettled and put back to sleep that he just started learning that he had no choice, and now most of the time I can hear him moaning and rolling around, a bit of babbling and then quiet again.   I don't know if at 16 months it is too late for him to learn how to resettle at this time?

[mmom]

We didn't go into his room until 6.  He was just babbling the whole time.  I have no idea what his reason is for waking.  He does this every few days.  I don't think it was pain, considering he wasn't crying.  He didn't even complain that no none was getting him until 5:45 or so.  I was hoping that he would just fall back asleep, since that happens sometimes.  But not today!

[mmom]

We had a good night, although my LO was moaning and groaning in his sleep a lot, which woke me.  Fortunately, he slept though.  He slept from 6-5:20 and then dozed in and out of sleep until 5:40.  He was not happy when we finally got him at 6 and was banging his hands on his crib rail.  But at least he slept well.

[babybarr]

Well that's good.  What sort of nap did he do in the end after his whopper A time?

We had another bad night, similar to the one before.  He definitely has canines coming and I really think it's giving him grief.  He's OT but with him we generally have to ride it out until he decides to make up the lost sleep.  Shorter A times / 2 naps etc don't consistently work although we do try!!

[mmom]

Laura, his nap yesterday was only 1 hour, so we did an early bedtime.  I am sorry your LO is still not sleeping well.  How tiring.

Soooooooo, I blew it for the nap today.  I went out this morning with my LO and thought it was much earlier than it was.  I was in a store and a woman goes "I think your son is fading."  I look down to see him passing out in the stroller.  I get him into the car and realize it is 11, which is what time I wanted to put him down.  He falls asleep in the car and when I transferred him to his crib, he woke and is now playing in his crib.    He is not going to nap - I know it.  Now we will be stuck with another crappy day.  I am so mad at myself for not realizing what time it was!!

[babybarr]

Oh no, poor you.  I hate it when that happens.  Are you trying for a catnap later aswell?  I probably would if DS hadn't had long.  Let me know how your night goes.  I guess from the previous day an hr nap for him may indicate OT then after a 7 hr A time!  It's worth learning these little things from our (or FIL!) mistakes!

My brother's getting married tomorrow and DS is a page boy (how cute?!)  so we'll be in even more of a mess than today!  He did nap relatively well for him but tomorrow it's going to be getting him to bed in the evening which is the problem!

[mmom]

Well, he finally fell asleep. I got him out of the crib and changed his diaper, since he stunk! Then I gave him some milk, let him play for a few, and put him back down.  It took him 45 minutes, but he fell asleep.

Laura, we won't go for a cat nap, because the nap is late. But we will definitely do a short A tonight an early bed.  Always and early bedtime.....  We are never going to get out.

Your LO will be adorable tomorrow!!  I am sure it will be chaotic, but hopefully you can get on track the next day.  It is hard working around big days like that.  I am already dreading the holidays for that reason.

[Mashi]

Kara, things like that in shops happen, and especially at this time of year when you NEED to get things done and things take longer than expected! Nothing you can do about it!

We are heading into the same territory, thought I'd share!  DS is down to 11 - 11.5 hours of nightsleep, which is totally fine, but he's cutting his naps to 1.5 hours instead of his usual 2 - 2.5. On days when they were OT naps he would always make up for them at night with 12 - 13 hours of nightsleep but this week he has not been.  After 3 days it is heading into OT territory, and I am juggling ideas in my mind on how to get around it!

One other thing that I thought of in the middle of the night, (as I was desperately begging DS to get back to sleep at 330 am ) is that we went through something like this at 8/9 months old.  Stick with me while I explain this as I might not say it clearly.  You know how LOs will often wake early because they are not getting enough A time before their nap and/or are napping for too long early on...so they wake up earlier in order to get the A time they need?  Well, when DS was 8/9 ish months, he started doing the opposite -- cutting his nap early in order to get the longer A time that he wanted/needed in before bed.  Basically he needed 3.5 hours before bed and the only way to get it was to wake himself by 3pm because his body clock was set on a 630 bedtime. No matter if he only went down for his nap at 2pm. I was desperately trying to get him to nap later so he could do to bed later, but he was fighting me by waking up by 3 because he knew instinctually that he had to go to bed at 630. Am I explaining this well enough? 

By the time we realised this I felt pretty stupid. And then it was back to the age old question of how to push the A time on the short nap, kwim?  I just started pushing his bedtime gently, 10-15 minutes of extra A time and kept the ENTIRE afternoon after his nap as calm as possible, not just the end bit, so that he got used to the fact that he was being kept up later....and yes, his naps started stretching out later to make up for it. I really wish that I had brought all of my old EASY notebooks with me when we moved but that just seemed even more absurd than the fact that I actually had them in the first place!!  But, I am thinking that is what we are going to need to do now.  So for instance he naps from 12 - 130, a 1.5 hour nap means he can only last 4.5 hours so he is in bed by 6pm. But he just will NOT nap later than 130 because his body knows he is going to bed at 600.  So in order to beat this I am thinking I need to gently push him to 615 for a few days but keep the rest of his day the same, and try to get an extra 15 minutes out of his nap.  And then the same a few days later.

Does that make sense?  (As in, do you think I am crazy??!!!) I am not sure if it will work with one nap the same way as it did when he was younger and on 2 good length naps ....