Re: sleeping less and less - 16 mo off track

[mmom]

WHY???  WHY?  Why is my LO waking up every night?  Last night I took a Benadryl before I went to bed, because of insomnia that I have been experiencing.  I finally fall asleep only to wake to crying at 10.  (My LO fell asleep at 7 - it took him 45 minutes to fall asleep last night).  DH and I practically immediately start fighting because he was just about to get into bed and had dealt with the NW'ing the night before, and I am so tired and just took something to help me sleep.  So I do exactly what I shouldn't do (and will revisit in a second), I pull the mattress onto the floor and lay with him to get him back to sleep.  We had given him Motrin at 6, so I couldn't give him anything else.  Then at 4, he starts talking, giggling, and having a party.  This time DH and I trade spots and DH said our LO did this until 5 something, fell asleep and woke at 6:30.

In addition to being annoyed with these wakings, I have created a monster.  Because I am pregnant and sometimes can't deal with it, I lay with him when he won't stop crying.  I know this is AP at the worst and it has to stop.  Now he won't go back to sleep period.  So I am prepared to tackle it tonight, but it is so exhausting to think about.

[Mashi]

This is where I am really clueless...we've been through the list of things that could be waking him - teeth, SA, temperature, OT, etc, and it can be any or all of them really. We went through this with DS at 9-11 months.  Much easier with a younger LO I think as you don't have as much expectation on them as when they are older.

Motrin is ibuprofen isnt it? many parents piggy-back ibuprofen and acetominophen -- so motrin at 6pm and Tylenol at 8 or 9pm -- when the pain is really bad. 

I often lie the mattress on the floor as well - but since DS has been 12 months and we have moved and he has a different cot and mattress I am not able to with this one. It was my best tactic when he was younger. Now, I  sleep on the floor next to his cot the whole time mumbling "go to sleep honey" at him. 

I can't imagine going through all of this pregnant either....

[mmom]

Yes, Mortin is Ibuprofin.  So maybe I should try giving Tylenol when he wakes.  I really don't know what it is.  I don't think OT, since yesterday was good in terms of naps, A times, etc.  I am going to try an early nap again today and see what happens.  I am just so tired!!!

Maybe tonight when he wakes, I will try your method:  I will lay down in front of him, rather than cuddling him.  I really have gotten myself into a bad situation with the night cuddles.  He won't resettle without them.  I just feel desperate for sleep in the middle of the night and do whatever it takes to get him back down.  But your method is like a GW method for me, because I am not holding him at least.

[deckchariot]

I"m guessing it is exactly the cuddling that he wants now.  Most bubs do wake in the night (even adults do).  Ideally, what you'd like is for him to roll over and go back to sleep all by himself.  Right now, he needs the cuddle to do it.  Doing a bit of GW sounds like a good plan.  I cannot imagine doing it while pg - I'm so sure you're exhausted.  When we had to do some serious wi/wo do break some APing, dh and I traded nights so one of us could sleep while the other did wi/wo.  Of course, I got the worst night, but at least I knew I wouldn't have to do it the next night.

[mmom]

So he is waking just for the cuddle?  Not just waking due to discomfort and needing the cuddle to go back to sleep?  Great, I have really done it.  We will work on it tonight.

[Mashi]

I don't think he is waking FOR the cuddle....I think he is waking, as humans do.  As Michelle said, we roll over and go back to sleep, half the time not really aware we've even woken.  I often hear my DS yawning at about 10pm - so he's woken and not made a sound, just yawned and goes back to sleep.   But perhaps when he is waking he's not abel to get back to sleep WITHOUT the cuddle.

There are lots of different GW type approaches you can take with it, and I don't think that it would take long!

[mmom]

I am wondering if my LO would have just gone back to sleep at 4 if I hadn't been in the room.  He has before.  Tonight I am either going do?

We got another 2 hour nap today.  DH wants to push bedtime, but I don't think it is a good idea.  We are aiming for a 6:30 bedtime (wake at 1:30).  Hopefully, that gets us a decent night.

[deckchariot]

I'm with Mashi - he's waking (which is normal), but instead of just yawning, stretching and going back to sleep, he's thinking "hey...wouldn't a nice cuddle from mom be great? yes, yes it would...in fact, I think I need that cuddle"  and there you are   And you know what?  We've all been there!!!  That's why wi/wo and/or gw are so often used

Wonderful nap!!!  I'd say you can easily do 5 hrs til bedtime - see how he's doing, he may be ready to go a bit longer if he's well rested, or 5 hrs may do it.

[mmom]

Thanks ladies!!  He never seems ready for bed - that is the problem.  He gets really silly at night and we always put him down by clock watching, rather than tired cues.  Sometimes we are right, sometimes we are wrong.  There are times when he is happy and doing well, but as soon as I start getting him ready he starts to fade, yawn and look visibly tired.  So then I know I have gotten it right.  But there are other times that even when I am putting him in his crib, he looks like he can still go.

[deckchariot]

the happy and always ready to go could actually be OT.  We've found that Abby gets silly happy when she's OT, and then I need to get her to bed ASAP, despite her not looking like she's ready  - and those are the nights she will sing herself to sleep - it's like she's so tired she doesn't know how to turn off, but if I keep her up, then she'll eventually collapse and we'll get NWs all night long.  If I put her to bed and let her sing herself to sleep (20ish min), she'll sttn.  It's weird, but it works for us.  So just wondering if that might be some of what's going on?

[mmom]

You know Michelle, it is hard to tell.  My LO can act like that at night and then go down fine and STTN.  Part of it is that DH gets home during the last hour that he is awake and my LO is so excited to see him and play with him.  He gets giggly and silly.  Although, I have seen times where it was obvious OT - like this weekend when we were in the car and he was giggling like a maniac for no apparent reason.  Despite all of my complaining, he is normally happy and silly.  It is just sleep timing that is so difficult with him.

Last night was better, yet torturous...lol.  Like clock work, my LO woke at 10:30.  I know it was not OT, because DH said he looked so tired that he put him down early (6ish) and he was asleep in minutes. So yesterday he only did a 4.5 hour A before the 2 hour nap and a 4.5 hour A after the nap.  Should we be doing W2S with this now? This is the 3rd night in a row of a 10:30 waking.  Anyway, when he woke, I tried to hug him while he was standing. This made him angry and I also tried to give him Tylenol, which didn't work.  He knocked my hand out of the way and what I did get in his mouth, he spit out.  Then I tried to put teething gel on him, but again, he was hitting my hands and then eventually tried to bite them.  So, that was a no go.  After that, I hugged him one more time and then I just sat in the rocking chair and said over and over "It is ok, it is time to go to sleep."  He screamed so hard he was choking himself for a good 50 minutes.  Then is slowed down to a cry, until he just whimpered and fell asleep.  I felt horrible while this was going on.  It took everything in me not to pick him up.  It was so sad.  We didn't hear from him until after 6 this morning.  In the end it was an 11 hour night. 

[mmom]

We got a great 2 hour nap after a 5 hour A.   But we have the usual after nap misery.  I hate this time of day.  It is very painful to be around.  I am just letting him pitch a fit while I go about the house work, because nothing I have tried is settling him. 

[Mashi]

Well I am glad you have had a good nap.....but can you think of anything that leads to the after nap misery? My DS is generally fussy after a nap for about 15-20 minutes, longer if I do not give him my full undivided attention during that time. He NEEDS me to sit with him and really BE with him for a loooong time while he wakes up. Like he missed me in his sleep or something  

With the tylenol, is he old enough for those fast tabs yet? We don't get them in the UK or Germany so I am not familiar enough with them, just remember them from my sister's children but not the age.  Or could you squirt his dose of meds into some yogurt and feed it to him by spoon?  Not for night times but before bed maybe?  Or change flavours or brands?

[mmom]

Mashi, my LO needs my attention after the nap too.  We sit and he has his milk on my lap.  Then he starts to get off of my lap, like he is done with me and that is when it starts.  I try more milk, food, none of which he will take.  When I try and pick him up, he pulls my hair or just freaks out on me.  This has been going on for a long time now and I used to throw him in the stroller and go for a walk.  But with the snow, we are limited and I can't take my whole winter going like this.  It has now been 1 hour and he is just starting to settle.  Still whining, but not wailing.  I really don't understand the cause of this.  He tricked me today too - he seemed good and started smiling and playing with me.  Then the usual started.

He usually opens his mouth for all medicines.  It is just in the middle of the night where it is a problem.  DH normally hold him, calms him, then he opens his mouth for the medicine I am giving him.  But with me not picking him up last night, he was just mad.  I have never heard of fast tabs.  I will have to look into those.

[deckchariot]

I'm guessing the night med issue was due more to you not picking him up, so as he adjusts to the new NW routine, that should even out.  I know the night was awful to listen to him cry, but you did not abandon him, you were right there and you were trying to comfort him, you stayed with him.  Hang in there - it's hard, really hard, but you can do it!

YAY for a great nap!!!  The after nap craziness....Abby is like that too, but usually after 20ish min of undivided mommy time, she's ok.  But if I can't give her that time, I usually pull out something she likes but we don't do often - painting, drawing, stickers etc. and that seems to help.  Could it be that he's just having trouble transitioning back into the day?  Maybe have some kind of special toy or craft or something that helps him (like the walk used to do).  Or bundle him up good and run around outside for a bit?  I take ABby out in the stroller in the snow sometimes - our sidewalks are pretty well plowed usually.