Can't figure out my 13 month old - can you?

[Brodster'sMommy]

I've been on the 2-1 support thread but feel I need more eyes to help with my LO.

DS is 13 months old. From birth until 7 months, we battled terrible reflux and therefore DS never slept well. We put him on meds and from 7-10 months, DS slept well. NW still occured but only every now and then. He was taking 2 - 1.5 hour naps a day. At 10ish months, DS started struggling with his second nap and night waking and we began the 2-1 transition. From 10 months until now, I have tried everything. I started by shortening the AM nap and giving a long PM - that worked for a week and then the NW started up again. I continued to shorten the AM nap until it was 30 mins but NW continued no matter what A times I gave him. Then I tried a long AM, short PM.  No go. I tried 1 nap and got 1-2 NW (compared to the 10-15 I'm used to) but a 4am wake up. Then I tried 2-1 hour naps lots of NW again.

I took him to the dr today bc the last few nights he was up every 30 mins or so. I was convinced something was wrong. Dr saw nothing. He also was very sure no teeth would be arriving soon.

He does sleep with a paci but it really does seem like too much of an issue TBH. Most nights when I go in to his room, he's standing and screaming with the paci still in. Or I will try to replug and he'll refuse it. I actually tried to wean it a month ago but I am PG and too sick to deal with sleep training ATM. Maybe in another month I can try it - it's really the only thing I haven't tried yet! Oh, and 2 weeks ago I started giving him a bottle when he woke around midnight (I was desperate to try anything) it seemed to cut down on the nightwakes... But not anymore. Last night he had a bottle of 1 oz milk, 4oz water. 

I'm starting to fall apart. My friends used to be so great but are annoyed that I'm constantly having issues with my LO and tired of hearing about it. They totally and completely blame me. And I have to say I feel like this is all my fault too. I feel like a failure. Why can't I figure out my LO like every other mom in the world!?!

I hope there is someone brave enough to take this on. I need help.

Thanks ladies.   

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

{{{{hugs}}}}  I was pregnant starting when Masyn was 15 months old...no fun at all and alot of APOP was used! Weaning the soother, potty training, everything took a back seat...and I have to say it all worked out fine in the end.  I feel sad for you that your friends are not being helpful and supportive, but laying blame on you. And, honestly, just when I think I have "figured" one of my girls out, they throw a curveball at me and change it up.

Now, how does his routine look now? I'm going to offer the only advice I can, because it is what worked for me and both of my kids...we did the 2-1 switch cold turkey! (at 11 months and 10 months old) If you want to see what the routine looked like at 13 months I can post that for you.

Also, could the reflux be acting up again?

more hugs 
Heidi

[Brodster'sMommy]

I would love to see what your routine looked like at 13 months. Maybe I should just go for it again. Last night was once again just plain awful and DH is so upset about the lack of sleep we are getting.

When I have tried 1 nap, DS slept a max of 1.5 hours. I'm confused on how to handle the routine and also how to handle the EW.

At this point Id almost rather have a good nights sleep with a 4am wake up call  

[Brodster'sMommy]

I forgot to add...

I put him back on his reflux meds about 3 weeks ago. There has been no change in his feeding or sleeping behaviors on or off the meds. I think he's out grown it.

[Shiv52]

Just wanted to add I did the 2-1 switch cold turkey too and it worked great.  If my LO didn't get at least 4.5-5 hours A time before bedtime, bedtime was a disaster and I just couldn't fit in two naps, even a short and long one, so I just went for it.  It took about a week for her to settle in to it and at that stage naps were about 1.5 hours and a few weeks later the naps extended (with some ssh-pat) to 2.5-3 hours.  At 19 months its starting to shorten a bit now but I have loved that long one nap!

Our routine is:

8am:  Awake
1pm:  Nap
3.30/4pm:  Awake
8.30/8.45:  Bed

HTH!

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

I love the one long nap too...although some days I wish Masyn was still napping too!!!

At 13 months, our routine was like this (3 months after we switched, was a bit OT at first, kept the morning A time super laid back)

7 am - awake
12:00 pm - nap (was 11:30 when we first switched)
2:30/3:00 - awake
7:00 - bedtime (asleep within 10 minutes or so)

basically the same a Shiv's, just a little less A time before bed, as bathtime and story time at our house gets quite rowdy, so they are ready for bed by 7pm.

When we started on one nap it was super long, because she had bad naps at daycare and needed the extra sleep. We had evened out to 2 hours or so every day, but she's back to bad naps at daycare (another baby who loves to scream at naptime is keeping her up!)

HTH
Heidi

[Brodster'sMommy]

Ok I'm going to go cold turkey and put DS on one nap. He woke at 7:15am today so I will try to have him asleep by 11:45am. I will post afte his nap bc I have NO idea what to do for the A times afterwards. If DS sleeps any longer than 1 hour, I will consider it a miracle. 

[Shiv52]

Good luck!  Just remember it'll take a few days for him to get used to it.  Keep from about 11am pretty low key (like a really long wind down) and that should help! Keep a close eye on him during the nap and try to  extend if you hear him waking (even just replug his paci).  I did that for the first while and it really helped naps extend whereas if she woke up too fully resettling was a night mare!

FYI, my LO uses a dummy and its never  affected her sleep.  Actually really helped when extending naps.  Once they learn to replug themselves its not really a prop issue anymore.

Keep us posted.

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Good luck and some sleepy vibes for your little guy!  My oldest took a soother too, once we got to the stage where she could replug it, it was great (we kept a cup of them in her crib, so she could always find one!)

[*Becky*]

good luck - I will be following along x

[Brodster'sMommy]

DS woke from his nap after 1 hour 20 mins (1:00). He woke up crying. Obviously OT right? He had 4.5 hours A time. Should I continue to stick with that? 

What time should I put him to bed?

I'm so nervous for tonight...

[Shiv52]

1 hour 20 isn't bad.  Thats the sort of naps I got initially, even a bit shorter.  Prob bit OT.  Had you no luck extending it?

4.5 hours A time from 1 would mean a 4.30 bedtime.  You could do a quick 20 minute catnap about 4pm (ish) to get him through to bedtime?    Kind of defeats the 'cold turkey approach' but really early bedtime didn't work for my LO. Then try a normal bedtime (assuming bed is 7?)? 

I would have probably pushed through to bedtime but 6 hours A time may just be too much for your LO to handle just yet?  I always aimed for 5 hours in the am so at least if nap was short, you were that bit closer to bedtime but you may have to build up the A time for that to work for you.

So either do a quick catnap about 4pm and get through to normal bedtime OR push through and do an earlier bedtime (say 6.20-6.30) and see how it goes? 

You'll know what will work for your LO best.  If you think he'll fight the CN, you may have no choice but try earlier bedtime. 

[Brodster'sMommy]

It's 4:30 and there is no way he's napping. I'll shoot for a 6pm bedtime assuming he'll be asleep by 6:30. Doesn't help that we have a dinner party tonight. dS gets so wound up around other people!

I wasn't able to try and put him back to sleep. DH beat me to him and took him out of the crib before I could get there.

How slowly should I push his morning A time? Maybe tomorrow try 5 or 10 minutes later until I get to 12?

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

I was adventurous and pushed her A time all at once, but by keeping things very quiet...even to the point of separating her from Masyn to play quietly upstairs, and with food & formula.

Good luck with the dinner party!

[Brodster'sMommy]

Yikes! DS didn't get to bed last night until 9:45pm! The Christmas party got him so riled up. He just screamed and screamed when we tried to put him to bed. Gosh, the Holidays are so tough with kids. Surpisingly though, he fell asleep in the car and only woke up 2 times last night - at 11 and 12. He slept through from 12am until 7:15am.

I have no idea where to go from here bc I'm assuming he's extremely OT. And what will probably make matters worse is we have church today so DS will be in the nusery from 9am - 12:30pm and he never sleeps there. Too many kids, too much noise. He will probably crash on the way home. I'm thinking today is already a bust

Do you think there is something to the fact that he slept 7 hours straight? Maybe that indicated he can handle longer A times? (obviously not that long! Or do you think last night was a fluke thing? Usually when he's OT he wakes up constantly.