Falling apart, please help!!

[~inbalance~]

Things are rapidly deteriorating around here and I just don't know what to do.  Less than 2 weeks ago DS was sleeping 12-13hrs at night and taking a 2hr nap during the day.  Bit by bit it's been falling apart, starting with one NWing in the early evening that lasted only a couple of minutes, to several NWings between bedtime and 10/11 where he screams, goes down easily but the is up screaming again or is restless.  Strangely he then sleeps from 10/11 right until 6:30/7. 

I was trying not to let that get to me because he was still more or less STTN and wasn't waking in the middle of the night, and the NWings were very brief.

But now naps are falling apart.  Last week he was still napping decently.  Then on Saturday it was 1.5hrs.  On Sunday it was a 1hr nap followed by 30mins of screaming.  Same yesterday.  Today I went back to 2 naps, shortened his A times and sure enough this pm only a 1hr nap and 30mins of screaming.  He used to wake up grumpy but recover quickly, now he wakes in the morning or from naps and screams bloody murder, nothing makes him happy.  But once he is over it, it's like nothing ever happened.  He's not touchy, he's not whiny, he's not clingy, just goes about his business.  These wakeup tantrums are unlike anything I've ever dealt with with him.

I've been so certain it's teething, although we've never had problems like this with teething.  He is due for his canines, and his gums are all swollen so I know something is up.  But I've tried every teething remedy and medication I could give him, and still nothing is helping.  I can't figure what else his problem is.  A few weeks ago we had a rough weekend I thought it was an ear infection, took him to the doctor's and there was nothing there, and then he went back to sleeping well again for that week.  In fact he was sleeping so well, more than usual.

Does this sound familiar?  Is there a pattern here?  2wks fabulous sleep, followed by a horrid weekend where we were up all night, followed by one week fabulous sleep, followed by this?

I am so upset and frustrated.  Other things are causing stress and I feel uncapable of dealing with DS right now.  Mentally I am not feeling good at the moment and it's preventing me from being able to comfort him, I'm just so angry that I don't know what's wrong and can't deal with him when he wakes up early and proceeds to scream the house down.  I don't think DH understands what this is doing to me, I mean I try and I try to figure it out and make it right and nothing is working.  We had such a good thing going, DS has been such an easy-going toddler for so long now I just don't know what's changed

Sorry to rant, this really is half toddler-sleep issue and half-couch post I guess.    Thanks for listening and having a look.

Oh, and FWIW here's what we've been doing for more or less over a month (since he moved to one nap) and it had been working but now I don't know since his nap only ends up being an hour now. 
wake 7/7:30
nap 12-2/2:30
bed 6:30/7

[jordiwes]

First of all, ((hugs)), because I fall apart and get frustrated too.

It really sounds like teeth. For us, tylenol does not do anything when teething. We get some relief when we use Motrin and Tylenol. Also keep in mind that it takes an hour to work (at least that for us).

So you might want to try using this an hour before bedtime.
That also sounds like a lot of sleep in a 24 hour period (JEALOUS!), so maybe try putting him to bed a little later? Not sure,  you know his sleep needs better.

[my3girlsjde]

Hugs

Just a thought -

We went through something similar lately with DDB and thought it was teeth until I videotaped what was going on up there. She was having the 'jolt awakes' exactly at 45 mins and completely flipping out from them. I could literally have set an alarm to them. They have since passed but we have noticed that they have issues similar to this when teeth or growth spurts kick in. I tried wating and soothing her back to sleep but that never worked once. Gotta love the spirited temperment lol. It lasted about two to three weeks and has finally passed. Now DDA is going through the exact same thing.

Again - just a thought and the only way to know this one for sure is to watch him wake up. Video cameras are awesome for this so you still get a bit of a break. I posted on the sleep board and had quite a few suggestions also.

Good luck and hugs Being preg and having sleep issues at the same time is no fun

[~inbalance~]

Jordiwes, he had been doing an awful lot of sleep a few weeks ago so UT had crossed my mind as well.  It was so much more than he's ever needed before, he's always been a low sleep needs kid.  Strangely when the NWings started they never seemed like UT NWings because he would always go right back to sleep and STTN afterwards (at first it was only NWing at about 9:30, for about 2mins then asleep for the rest of the night).  Now, with more frequent NWings and really bad naps there's no way he's getting too much sleep anymore, if anything we've fallen into some OT and I don't know what to do about it!!

Vicki, I like your videotaping idea but we don't have a recorder!  Our regular camera takes small clips but I don't think I can set it to record at a certain time, and it's very limited with the length of the video.  You know, when DS was a baby I never cared about having a baby monitor, but as he got older I really wish we had a video monitor and some days I'm almost tempted to buy one just to see what goes on in there!!

I keep thinking teeth must have something to do with it and that problem is kicking off a whole slew of other problems, but really I don't know anymore.  I'm just so worried as this is the worst spell of NWings we've had since DS was 10mos old, and I had thought we had sleep sorted.  Now I'm scared that DS's sleep is ruined and I won't be able to fix it before the baby comes. 

[my3girlsjde]

I hear you on wanting a video monitor. We always wondered if they were having nightmares when they would wake up like that. When the girls were really little, I would sometimes sit and read in their room while they napped and really learned how spirited children sleep. Mine don't stop moving.

With teeth, Motrin works wonders for DDB but DDA climbs the walls when teeth come in - especially the canines. I found with her that Anbesol given with the Motrin would at least numb her gums until the Motrin kicked in and would give her about 6 hours between NW's. I know some people aren't a fan of anbesol, but we knew it was working when she would stop screaming and start smacking her lips as soon as we walked in the room lol.

Hugs though You still have 20 weeks for you and him to work it out and get back to 'normal' before your new lo gets here. Sleep/rest deprivation sucks when pregnant Hopefully if it's teeth, then they're in soon. If it's 'jolt awakes' or something else, hopefully they're just part of a growth spurt.

[~inbalance~]

That's just it though, DS isn't spirited and had been sleeping very very well.  I don't know what changed really.  Plus meds always used to work like a charm, even if he woke at night because of discomfort I could give it to him and he would settle right away because he knew relief was coming.

At the moment I've tried just about everything I could get my hands one, medicinal and homeopathic. 

We used to use orajel but stopped ages ago since it didn't seem to do anything plus he fought it so bad when we tried to apply it.  Now with all the other teeth in I'm not sure how we'd be able to get it onto the little spaces where the canines should be!

I'm scoping out video monitors as I type.    I figured, with a new LO on the way it will get put to good use.  Now to just get DH to agree we need it (for my sanity's sake )

[~ Vik ~]

Just wanted to drop off some (((hugs))) for you Martina  Unfortunately I have no ideas for you, but lots of virtual hugs and ~~~STTN~~~ vibes for T.  I hope things improve quickly for you!  Can DH take T for a couple hours out so you can have a nap sometime this week?

[~inbalance~]

Vikki, DH has been so good about helping with T when he can.  He takes care of him on weekends and does bedtime when I ask him too.  I'm still feeling so overwhelmed though and even though DH helps, he still doesn't know what to do about it so it's still up to me.  Good suggestion though, thanks!  I am lucky he does help a lot.

This is the last week then he has 3 weeks vacation so hopefully that will help out a lot. 

[~ Vik ~]

Wow, 3 weeks holidays right around Christmas!!  That will be great for all of you - I'm jealous!!   Hopefully having the extra pair of hands will help decrease the stress for you.  I'll be keeping my fingers crossed!

[jordiwes]

Martina, Just wanted to pop in and say that my DD went through a very similar thing. Up until I was around 16 weeks pregnant, she had been such a great sleeper (except for ilnesses). Then WHAM, 2 to 3 hour night wakings for 2 weeks. And then a break, and then night wakings again. I was thinking that we'll never get them solved by the time the baby comes because I was so clueless how to prevent them. But we rode it out, and they stopped pretty much on their own (once we stopped AP, but that's another story). So pregnant working mom up for 3 hours in the night. It really sucked. The third hour would be me sobbing trying to rock my DD back to sleep.
So I'm confident your weird sleeping spell will pass long before the baby comes. Just try everything in the meantime.
How did last night go by the way?

[Mashi]

Now I'm scared that DS's sleep is ruined and I won't be able to fix it before the baby comes.

No no no!  Don't think like this! It's a phase...and there will be phases of great with phases of difficult, and this is just one of the difficult ones!

Since about 10/11 months DS has been a good sleeper, since about 12/13 months he's been a great sleeper.  But we go through spurts and spells of chaos that last a week or ten days sometimes, and things always end up back on track. Each time it drags on 3 or 4 days either DH ends up saying "so I guess this is it from now on then isn't it?" and I have to remind him that it will be fine in a few days!! So keep that in perspective.

A few random thoughts...

Could he be OT from teething and need to go back onto two naps for a while? Or one nap still but earlier in the day and then an early bedtime?  I know you said you tried that one day last week and had a rough night from it but one try at something is sometimes not enough to make a judgment on success/fail, kwim? It can take a few days to work itself out?

Growth spurt and needing loads more sleep and ditto to above?  DS had a growth spurt a few weeks ago and I was downright frightened by how much he slept (like 14-16h at night, then after 4ish hours of A would go down for 2 hours and then 4.5h later go to bed for the night!)

We have also gone back and forth from one nap spells to two nap spells on and off as OT has more opportunities for creeping in when there is only one chance to rest in the day. So if he is having rough/interruped nights then more likely to get some OT creeping in.

I know my usual suspect is always OT though, so I am biased 

[hjrmom01]

sending (((Hugs)))) because we are having NW, too.  Not far behind.

[~inbalance~]

Mashi, yes there is always OT.  I posted on your thread too about DS sleeping so much, mine was doing the same thing a few weeks ago!!  I think it was a growth spurt too but that is now past.  2 naps for awhile is a good idea....I just hate it so.  1 nap earlier is a recipe for disaster - I know it will be short and no bedtime will be early enough to counteract it!!

Jordiwes, last night was worse!!  Several NWings throughout the night as opposed to just before 10pm.  Things aren't looking good.

Today's nap was a bust again and I even tried all the AP I could to get him back to sleep.  The only thing that worked was napping IN the crib with him. 

BUT, there is a reason as one pointy little canine has emerged, so I suspect things are going to get worse before they get better.  I can deal with it, as long as I know it WILL get better.....

He seems to have some SA going on with the teething as he just freaks out when he wakes up and screams for me, and if I try to leave him he loses it.  Some sort of crib phobia too.  Again, I hope this all passes.

Thanks for the hugs Alyssa, they are always needed and appreciated. 

[~inbalance~]

Things continue to deteriorate faster than I can process it

Now we have bedtime resistance and SA and he won't let us leave the room.  It's taken us 2hrs to get him down for the night and even now I'm not sure if it's a done deal yet.  He'll probably still wake a lot tonight.

I can't remember having issues this bad in at least 6months.   

[~ Vik ~]

(((hugs))) Martina, that's awful

I hope that he's down for the count now and stays that way for you. You deserve a break