Teething has caused sudden bedtime SA & crib phobia - at a loss for what to do!

[~inbalance~]

We have gone from one extreme to the other and I never thought we'd be in the position where everything goes from great to completely bonkers in such a short period of time!!

Bedtime is a huge screamfest and we don't know what to do.  DS freaks out when we leave him in there.  This hasn't been a problem in over 6mos, he's been a WONDERFUL independent sleeper.  DH and I are at a complete loss.  Before we could give him a few minutes and he would settle himself.  That ability is totally gone and he just goes nuts, screaming and screaming until we come back in. 

How do we address this?  WIWO?  I'm embarassed to say I just don't know.  He's teething something awful right now, worst ever.  I don't even think any amount of AP will work to get him to sleep in his own bed.  Even if we stand at his crib until he finally falls asleep, he wakes up in an hour or two and it starts all over once he realizes we're not there anymore.  Last night we finally gave up around 11 and he slept with us, we were just so tired.

I'm so sad, we were doing so well. 

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

How do we address this?  WIWO?  I'm embarassed to say I just don't know. 

   Spencer had some crib phobia after an allergic reaction and I had no idea what to do! She hadn't needed me at night for months just like you guys. I so did not want to create a monster with AP, but it all worked out in the end

I used gradual withdrawal to help her, as I knew WI/WO would just make her angry. First couple of nights I actually slept on the floor in her room (first night with her sleeping on top of me most of the night!!), then progressed to just sitting by her bed for a while with my hand on her back, slowly decreasing the time and then eventually got back to where we could just plop her in bed and walk out.

I always wondered if she associated whatever pain/swelling etc she may have had with her crib/room and that made her scared to be alone in there. Perhaps it is the same for your DS with the teething.

{{{hugs}}}
Heidi

[~inbalance~]

Thanks Heidi, you always seem to post on my threads with great support    Guess you can see how bad things keep getting. 

It's 7:45 and he is still up (since 12:40pm this afternoon).  We can't put him down and leave him, he won't let us.  But when we let him up he is totally happy.  He doesn't act tired at all.  Then again, that has always been a problem with us is he never acts tired and will not sleep so long as there are things to do.   

All of our previous bedtime associations are causing him stress.  If I so much as start to sing the beginning of a lullaby, he starts crying.  It's all very frustrating.

DH is looking to see if he can find the air mattress.  Otherwise I may just have to sleep on the floor (as awful as that will be for me!).  The other day I resorted to napping IN his crib with him.  Hmpf.

But you did say things went back to being ok?  That is my biggest fear.  It's apparent that I can't do anything much until the teething is over (only one has cut so far ), but I'm so worried that the bedtime issues will remain.

[scucci1979]

Sending you lots of hugs. 
Wish i could help.  Definitely try sleeping in his room.
keep us posted....

[~inbalance~]

Ok, I was reading (or should I say re-reading) the FAQs on WIWO vs GW, and it does say WIWO is better for toddlers who have already been sleep trained and already have the skills for independent sleep, which DS has/does.  WIWO has been useful in the past, and I think would work if he wasn't in pain, but I'm guessing I can't do it now with him being as worked up as he is and with the teething, but hopefully once he's done teething I can get back to work on it?  So for now maybe a pseudo-GW plan until we're through the rough patch, then back to WIWO to get back on track?  Right now we're just trying to survive!! 

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Right now we're just trying to survive!! 

That's the important part...whatever it takes to get through the teething and SA, and then you can work on getting him back to sleeping independantly. It will get better! Honestly, I thought at the time I'd be stuck in Spencer's room every night, but was amazed at how a little help got her back on track.

I've read that about WI/WO too, but I also knew that Spencer would not take it well. Never tried PU/PD for the same reason    I don;t know why...just her touchiness I always assumed. It worked really well with Masyn though (sitll does!) but she's just not as attched to me as Spencer is.

Sounds like you have a good plan to start with GW and work into WI/WO when he is ready. Canines really suck! Spencer only has 3 left to go, thankfully one snuck in months ago at the same time as the tooth beside it.

Hope DH finds the air mattress for you and you all get some sleep tonight 

[EloysH]

I agree, just do what you gotta do to get through the rough patch,  suerly it won't take long to get back on track.

[~inbalance~]

Couldn't find the pump for the air mattress so ended up actually putting ours in there!  He still threw the biggest fit so ended up on the mattress with me.  It was already after 9 so he was literally exhausted and basically passed out cold.  Then I was actually able to move him to his crib and sneak out (I've NEVER been able to move him while sleeping before!).  I'm sure when he wakes he won't be happy that I put him in his crib, but it's a start.  I'll sneak back in there when I'm ready for bed.  Tomorrow we'll find the pump for the air mattress so we have something to keep in there for the next little while while we sort this out.  For tonight DH will just have to sleep on the couch. 

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

When Masyn was small, we kept a bed in her room for just that reason...Spencer's room is way too small though. I just converted her crib to a toddler bed, so now I can easily squeeze in beside her if I need too!

lots of sleepy vibes for tonight!

[EloysH]

have you tried putting favourite toys in the cot during the day and playing with him and the toys? Then gradually removing yourself to other parts of the room and then out of the room?

[*Becky*]

poor you xxx

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

How did the night go?  Was thinking of you and wondering if you found your air matress pump yet (don't ask, weird things pop in my head sometimes!) Hope it went well 

[~inbalance~]

Eloise, he will play in his crib no problem during the day, although doesn't like being in there because he's used to having free roam of the house.  I put him in yesterday while I was in the shower just to see, and he was fine, not scared at all.  So it's a negative association with sleep.

lol Heidi, thanks for asking.  Weird things pop into my head too quite often.     Still have our mattress in his room but are determined to find the pump today and get the air mattress set up!!

Last night was actually much better.  He went down without a fuss (thank god!), woke after 45mins but only needed a little reassurance to go back to sleep.  So that was promising.  I still had to sneak in there to sleep since the mattress was still in there, but I think it's a good thing I'm still sleeping in his room.  He woke several times but was able to resettle with just me humming or sshing, didn't have to get up, so that's huge progress.  At about 5:45 the meds officially wore off and he got really fussy, so I gave him another dose and he fussed until they kicked in but then did go back to sleep until 7:30.  So MUCH improved.  I still think I need to be in there for a bit though to settle him before he gets worked up.  He obviously takes comfort knowing I'm in the room with him.

I also gave him my pillow that I've been using this week so it smells like me.  I think that helped too.

One step at a time. 

[EloysH]

one step at a time     he probably knows then we he goes to sleep he wakes up in pain     darn teeth!!!