11 Month Old Driving Me Crazy

[toppette]

Hi Everyone,

My LO is now 11 months old.  She started solids around 6 months of age and took to it like a duck to water.  Loved her food, ate anything and everything I gave her. She was BF to 8 months.

She has been having some finger foods now for about 2 months, and has been doing really well on that too.  Started with milk arrowroot biscuits, then toast and now all sorts of fruit and veges too.

I used to make these mini casseroles for her which I'd just mash with a potato masher and she ate them no problem.

At about 10 months she cut her first tooth, and coincidence or not, but since about that time her "eat anything" policy started to fly out the door.  Now she quite often positively argues with me at meal times.  I mean literally ... she will hold both her arms out in a "stop" signal, with her mouth jammed shut and pouted for extra affect.  If I persist, she will yell at me.  If she happens to like something, she won't tomorrow.  She grabs the spoon off me and either just sits there chewing on it, or throws it on the floor.  I give her some finger foods which she will eat a bit better ... but running out of good meals for her to eat herself!! I'm worried all she is getting is toast and some fruit!  She'll refuse what I give her from the spoon then won't sleep later because she's hungry.  Actually she refuses everything initially, I almost have to handfeed her forcefully so she can at least taste it, then if she thinks it's okay she will eat 2-3 spoon fulls before closing up shop again.

Oh and as soon as I start feeding her she starts rubbing her eyes, then ends up wiping food all over her face and acts like she is tired even though she can't be. 

? What is she playing at and what on earth do I do?

[clazzat]

A lot of them go through really fussy periods when they realise that they have some control over what they eat - and particularly when they see how much you care!  The first thing to do is to back off a bit - if you are trying to force her to eat things then she will react against that and won't eat anything.  If you can just put something in front of her and then leave her to investigate it on her own she is much more likely to eat it.  It can get pretty messy if you are leaving her with a bowl of casserole, but from my experience a toddler refusing to eat isn't particularly clean either!

The other thing is that it could well be teeth - teething can play havoc with their appetites as when their mouths are sore they are reluctant to put new things in them.  You could try putting some teething gel on before you try to feed her, and again leave her to investigate it herself so that she can decide what to eat.

She won't starve herself - toddlers can't unless there is an underlying problem, which you would know of by now - so don't worry too much about the quantity of food.  I would also offer her some snacks during the day, though - perhaps away from the table so that you can persuade her to take in some calories without making it a mealtime battle.

If you want some more finger food ideas, there is a great book called Finger Foods for Babies and Toddlers by Jennie Maizels which has a lot of fantastic recipes - she came up with the idea for it because her daughter would only eat finger foods and she was trying to come up with healthy options.

[toppette]

Thanks for that clazzat ... i think we're battling teeth again too, today she didn't want her finger food and I ended up able to feed her a few spoon fulls of soft chowder. The eye rubbing continued though, and she ended up with food all over her face   So don't get the eye rubbing while eating!!

Thanks for the book tip, think I will definitely look into that one!

[We Three]

I agree with pp...take a step back so that any negativity can fade. At that age, My dd some days wanted me to feed her, other days she would ONLY feed herself. Some days she would ONLY eat if it was on my plate!!!  Once she ate one of those ready-made gerber meals, then I had an idea that I would save the container and put other foods in it...she devoured everything. These kids....sometimes it's just trial and error...high chair.vs. booster, fork vs spoon, spoon vs fingers, plate vs no plate, her plate vs your plate, big pieces they can hold vs tiny bite-sized pieces.......those are alot of variables, but we have experienced all of them! Recently a friend visited with her dd, who is 2...she refused to eat her lunch, and I swear I just *knew* it was because her sandwich was cut up, and my dd's was whole.  I made her a new one with her Mom's ok, and she ate the whole thing!!!

[beckles]

Hi toppette,

I just wanted to say that you are not alone and that I was just coming on here to ask a very similar question.

My DS is 10.5mths and has all of a sudden started fighting me during his meals and throwing all his food on the floor. I think sometimes he has had enough and other times he wants something other than what i am giving him.

He will eat toast anytime of the day, and like you I feel that all i give him is bread and fruit. I figure that I just keep on offering it to him and if he doesn't want it, he doesn't get it and I might just give him a bit of larger bottle at his next milk feed.  He is a bonny lad so has the extra stores if needed.

With the eye rubbing thing-DS does that too. Makes for a very messy meal time. I have no idea what it is all about and for I while there I was thinking it was a tired sign, but it is just him and his funny little ways. I also think it is him saying he has had enough as well, cause he will never refuse a mouthful, so it is hard to know when to stop feeding him (typical boy).

[toppette]

Thanks beckles for letting me know you're experiencing the same problem.  It's so bizarre, isn't it?!  Very hard to keep up with them at the moment in terms of eating.  I'm finding cooked cubes of pumpkin or sweet potato rarely fail though, and she is happy to feed them to herself (and they aren't too messy  )

Let's hope they get out of this soon!

[Mashi]

You might find some other ideas, suggestions and support on some of these threads also. Many of the toddlers in these posts are a wee bit older than yours but it's a phase that starts at about the age your LO is at and can go in ebbs and flows for a loooooong time!

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=71906.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=162225.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=161342.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=155886.0

HTH!!

[mdavza]

I'm joining this club, too!  Me and my dh had such a giggle when we read your post, toppette, because that is JUST like ours - at 10 months....
I try hard not to get too annoyed because sometimes he also refuses his milk (and then wants it at night) but I don't want to force him. 
What I find baffling is how he can adore a type of food one day, and the next, no thank you.  I'm at a loss but will keep on tring and reading, and watching and giving him a bit of everything

[toppette]

Welcome to the club!! lol It is sooo comforting to know it's not just my LO behaving like this.

I have all but given up the spoon now.  I can't believe she won't even eat yoghurt - something she never ever refused before.  At best, I can get her to have 2-3 spoonfuls of anything before she puts up the closed sign.  She loves anything orange ... carrot, pumpkin, sweet potato ... I'm just cutting them in cubes, microwaving them in a bit of water and she hand feeds herself.  I added peas today and was pleased as punch when she started feeding them to herself too.  Hopefully she still likes them tomorrow!

I think I'll just have to keep doing this for now ... bits and pieces thrown together for meals.  Breakfast is always some toast and fruit.  I vary the toast - sometimes french toast, or vegemite or cream cheese toast is working well too.  Dinner tonight was peas, sweet potato, chicken wings I cooked for ourselves and shredded cheese on top.  She ate it all ... yippee! Actually it's kind of nice she can feed it all to herself, even if only with her hands.  Means I can eat or do whatever

[mdavza]

Yesterday afternoon he was at my sister in law and he ate an enormous amount of risotto, but refused afternoon milk, and ate very little at dinner.  But he slept through for the first time in a few days?!  I am making him cheesy tuna pasta this afternoon, and will have lots of bits of veggies on the tray as well, but my feeling is that he does better when he eats enough starch.  He doesn't like toast that much, but will put some cheesy ones out for him as well - this is what me and dh will be eating.
I am trying to remind myself to relax about it, but some days I just feel stressed.  Oh, this morning he didn't want to eat his normal porridge, so I snuck in baby rice in yoghurt...

[JayLeigh]

I think there should be a thread called "spoon refusal". My 10 month old DS wont even TRY what I have on the spoon. He just wants to feed himself. I was looking for a thread with this exact subject. It seemed to happen all of a sudden.

ALSO, since this little pickiness with food, he has been waking earlier and ealrier to BF, and then going back to sleep. Even if I dont feed him at 5am, his worst meal is breakfast time. No matter how long I wait. And breakfast is the most difficult meal to serve all finger foods it seems!

My biggest concern is balancing his meals! I want him to include fruits and veggies as a large part of his meals but it seems he prefers carbs, breads etc. I don't want to encourage picky eating!

[ajjanzen]

My DD wanted only finger foods at 11 months.  It was great!  I loved watching her eat instead of feeding her.  She was a good eater for the most part.  I got really creative with her favorite foods so that she would get a good balance of nutrients.  You have no idea how many pizzas I made for her that were topped with spinach and broccoli.  And at 3 years old she will eat almost anything.  But the ladies are right, don't push it with the spoon and be patient.  It's a stage they all go through and most outgrow. Just wait until they are 3 and go through wicked growth spurts where one day it feels like they are going to eat the entire contents of the fridge and the next you are lucky if you can get a glass of milk into them. 

[Mom to M&M]

ITA. Not there yet with DS (just starting to bring in more foods besides purees) but I remember it well with DD. We too did a lot of veggie topped pizza, avocado spread on toast, veggies (carrot or sweet potato puree) inside meatballs, etc.

[Tweakster]

Finn is the same.  He has now taken to closing his mouth and shaking his head back and forth when he's done...and if you try to cajole him into eating he gets angry and slaps at the spoon, your hand, the booster seat tray...and grunts, growls and shrieks.

Our paed keeps reminding us how small their tummies are...if you imagine their stomach is similar to the size of their palm so very very tiny.  They don't actually need much.  As long as you are offering, giving nutritious offerings often enough and respecting when they indicate they had enough...I think it's just a phase really.

[First Time Mom]

It is just a phase and if you think it's bad, just wait until they turn 4 . At 4 they will LOVE a food one day and tell you they want to eat it everyday, the next time they will turn their nose up and tell you they are allergic to it . The main thing is to keep offering different foods, don't force any on them, and try to make meals a fun and enjoyable experience for them!