Help with 13-month old

[~*Nicole*~]

Also meant to mention...holding out for a long afternoon nap will probably lead to overtiredness. MOST LOs don't switch to only one nap until closer to 18 months. Around 15/16 months is average. I tried to do it early b/c I had some nap resistance young (around 12/13 months) but it led to MAJOR overtired NWs and EWs and just horribleness. I went back to 2, but had a 30 min. morning nap and a long 2 hour afternoon nap and that was MUCH better. Then eventually that didn't work well anymore, but it took awhile to be ready for one nap only without a cranky, miserable, clingy, whiny, TIRED child.

So if cutting to one hour doesn't help.....after about 3 or so days of trying.....you cut to 45. If that doesn't help after a few days, you cut to 30. 30 is pretty standard, but you may need to do 20 minutes right before she's ready for only one nap.

[Em703]

From bad to worse... last night my husband ended up having to sleep on the floor in my daughter's room - I think we are dealing with a combination of teething, possibly getting sick, stopping breastfeeding, and changing her sleeping all at the same time! 

A few months ago, I signed up for a Bootcamp thing starting tonight - this was prior to having learned about BW and reading the book.  My husband works evenings on a call-in basis right now, so if he doesn't get called in to work, we're fine. But if he does, I will have a babysitter in.  The catch is, I will have to drive her home.  So, what's worse - delaying bedtime by an hour, or having the babysitter try to do PD and then wake her up shortly after (if she even gets her to sleep) to come with me when I drive the babysitter home.

Horrible timing... I registered for the bootcamp for January as I hoped to be finished breastfeeding by now - and it is already paid for...

[~*Nicole*~]

Since you're reworking your routine completely ANYWAY....could you plan for an hour later bedtime AND an hour later wake up? Would that work for you? So you can NOT cut the first nap and then the next one will be really late and so bedtime can be late, but you'll have to work on her sleeping later in the am to get a good night's full sleep? I think putting her to bed and waking her up will be really confusing for her.

[firsttimemummy]

could you get a taxi for the babysitter?

[~*Nicole*~]

could you get a taxi for the babysitter?

OOOH even better!

[Em703]

Thanks for the ideas!  Tonight actually worked out well - my husband didn't get called into work!  For next time, I think I'll recruit someone to drive the babysitter home (I live in a small town and we don't have taxi's).

I was really nervous about trying to adjust her schedule after the last two days have NOT gone well.

She did have a nap this AM and after an hour of screaming, went down for a 40-min nap this afternoon.

[~*Nicole*~]

Sounds like it's going well overall. Keep track of all the times for the next few days so we can tweak if need be.

[firsttimemummy]

Good you are seeing some progress - remember after a few days of plain sailing it usually goes pear-shaped for a day or so but just be consistent and you will get through it

[Em703]

Making some progress - I think!

We have had some major bumps this week, but last night she slept the whole night - for the first time!

My husband seems to have no trouble getting her to sleep.  It literally takes him from 5-10 minutes to put her down for naps and at night.  Even the babysitter who has been here twice this week, had her down in 10 minutes.  For some reason she screams for hours when I try though.  I"m assuming it's because for the last 13 months she has cried and I have picked her up and fed her or cuddled her. 

How long will it take until she will sleep for me!?  It is extremely frustrating for me, and exhausting for my husband!?!?

On the food front - I have been able to blend our dinners a few nights this week and feed it to her. But she still won't accept cut up foods, even well-cooked and mashed up versions of foods she likes.  I also tried the dipping suggestion - no luck.

[~*Nicole*~]

If your DH and the sitter can get her to go to sleep within minutes....it's very likely in her quickly developing and cunning little brain that she has gotten mommy to come back in the past with crying, etc. and she thinks she can do so again.

In reality, it shouldn't take more than a week or two if you are CONSISTENT with her routine and with NOT getting her out for extra cuddles. If you go in, lie her down, walk out...without talking....she should get the hint that it is time for sleeping and not for playing mommy. If she SCREAMS a protest...but stops and starts and stops and starts crying....leave her be for a bit to see if she does settle. I have found that if DD is TRULY needing me she will continue to cry..whereas if she is SCREAMING a protest it is more short lived and she will settle in a few minutes. But again, if she does not settle down and you feel you need to go in.....by all means...do...but don't take her out...don't turn on the lights...don't talk to her....try not to make much eye contact...act bored/tired....If you want to say something you can repeat whatever it is you say to her when you lay her down the first time. Mine is always "Goodnight. I love you. See you in the morning." That's it. Then leave. She will probably protest and scream again...but eventually she should realize that you are not going to take her out and cuddle her to sleep.

All I can say about the food is to keep trying. She'll get there.

[huntersmummyinoz]

just popping this over to the Sleeping for Toddlers Board for you as your LO is over 12mths old.

sounds like you are doing great hun and your hard work is paying off. hang in there

[Em703]

Okay - I'm a little bit confused.  So far we have been staying in the room with her and we keep laying her down when she stands up in the crib - are we supposed to be in the room?  I thought that was the whole point of PU/PD that you weren't leaving the room and letting them cry it out.  If we don't stand near the crib she continually stands up and doesn't go to bed in the entire time she was supposed to be napping.  If we stand close by the crib, she doens't even try to get up anymore (unless we sit down).  I thought the progression was to eventually be able to stand a bit further away from the crib each time until you're able to lay her down and then stand in the door way and say your comforting words, and then be out of sight, etc.  Do I have this wrong?

[firsttimemummy]

WIWO (walk in walk out) is where you lay them down in their cot, say your sleep phrase and then leave the room, if they start crying count to 30 then go back in (if they are still crying); if they stop crying at any point start counting from 0 again.

Gradual retreat is where you stay in the room and each day sit further away from the cot until you are out of the room ...

think it depends on your LO which works best

[~*Nicole*~]

She's right. You have to figure out what will work best for you and your LO.

[Em703]

So, what should we try first?  Right now we lay her down and have to stand by the crib.  We have a footstool beside her crib, but as soon as we attempt to sit down, she stands up again.  I didn't see "walk in walk out" in the baby whisperer book that I have...  What age are you supposed to start doing that?  Or should we be doing that now?  I'm totally confused!