yep back to square one again, why does lo keep going back???

[Rebecca247]

I have no idea how many times i have posted the same post, Max finally seems to be sleeping great for a few weeks/months then BANG he's back into terrible sleeping habbits which leave me with no idea how it really happens! I'm suffering terribly this morning with lack of sleep and feel like i am not going to make it thru the day! I felt like i saw every few hours last night!

Max goes to sleep really well on his own in his cot every night (he does have a milk bottle b4 bed) I know that everyones advice will be too get rid of the bottle, I'm not quite sure how to go about that (abit scared )
Generally he is in bed at 7.30/8.00pm every night but then he wakes about 11.30/12.00 and asks for another bottle. The last few nights i have been offering him water and making him go back to sleep which takes a little while.....once he finally resettles he wakes again a few hours later and asks again for a bottle and wants to come our bed. Usually if he wakes around 5ish I do give him a bottle and take him in with us just for some decent sleep! I know thats not ideal but i need sleep to function and i shouldnt give the bottle but he is a terrible eater al day so i'm thinking he is slightly hungry its a vicious cycle i know cos having bottles during the night effects his daytime eating! i have been thru this so many times, he is turning 2 next week so he should be sleeping right thru the night, I havet had a decent sleep in almost 2 years!

Any advice will be greatly appreciated, it makes me feel like such a failure as I have 2 older kids who are 8 and 6 so i should be able to handle baby #3 but he has been completely different.....

Bek
xxxx

[anna*]

Is he falling asleep with his bottle in his mouth? Or he has a bottle just before bedtime?

My advice is pretty harsh but I would go cold turkey on all bottles between bedtime and morning. If he needs water he can help himself. I would talk to him through the day about how there are no more bottles at night, he needs to wait until morning. To signify morning, you could put a little nightlight on a timer set to come on at 6.30am (or whatever you consider to be a reasonable time), or one of those specialist sleep aid clocks. Show it to him, show how it works, tell him that when the light is off that means it's night time and time to stay quiet in his cot. When the light comes on, that means it's morning and time to get up.

I'd leave a non-spill sippy of water in his cot with him, point it out and let him know he can have water if he wakes up in the night. But there are no bottles.

How are you getting him back to sleep when he wakes in the night?

[Rebecca247]

Hi anna, thanks for your reply. xx

he doesnt fall asleep with his bottle in his mouth, he lays in the cot and drinks it then yells out for us to take it away when hes done, then he turns his aquarium on himself and falls asleep, but the wakes up, sometimes i think he wakes more then a newborn!

the last few nights I have been putting a sippy with water in the cot with him and when he wakes at 11.30/12.00 i offer it to him, he will sip it but when i walk away he starts to cry, I leave him to whinge and whine in the cot, the only time i go in is when he gets upset which isnt much, its mostly just a whingy cry, nothing over the top. he settles back down but only for a few hours and he's back up again about 5am! So do you think he still shouldnt be having a bottle at 5am i should push it out til at least 6.30am???

If I do the 6.30am he will drink it and fall back to sleep a he usually sleeps til after 8am (yay)
I do expect that to change once he starts sleeping thru the night as he wont be so tired
He has a slight cough and runny nose at the moment so It makes me feel bad for making him have a whinge, but i have given him panadol so he wouldnt be in any pain, and If i dont do something now then there will always be an excuse, i will just keep putting it off!

Thanks again Anna xxx

[LizzieN]

Hey sweetie,
Sorry you are having issues again!!  We have just had a shocker of a week with Dyllan too not settling down and waking constantly all night.  After about a week of this he came in with a tummy bug, so was obviously on the way down and that is what our problem was!

Like Anna, I wouldn't give ANY bottles in the cot, I would actually give him his bottle on the couch then do his teeth and then put him to bed.  Explain to him how we don't have bottles in the cot anymore, but his sippy is right there if he feels thirsty in the night   You have done this successfully before sweetie so don't be scared of doing it again, I know you can do it

You are a wonderful mum by the way, you really are.  Hang in there lovely xx
Hugs
Lizzie

[Shiv52]

Agree with other ladies.  I wouldn't give bottles during the night either.  I'm on the fence about the last bottle in the cot as its part of his routine and he isn't falling asleep on it so I think thats upto you but I guess you have to cut it out at some stage.  I'd tell him that there is no more milk after that until breakfast time. 

I was always really paranoid about my LO being hungry but now that we have had several really bad eating days with teething she has still slept ok so I am confident in not feeding her in the night and offering more food the next day.   I wouldn't give a bottle at 6.30, I'd leave it until he's up for the day otherwise you may find he'll start wakening earlier for it and you'll be back where you started.

You can do this.  I remember how great you felt when he starting STTN the last time.  Hopefully that'll give you some motivation to get there again xx

We've had the most ridiculous NWs here the last week (think combination of cough, teeth and being out and about lots over Christmas) for 2-3 hours at a time so i'm starting to tackle that tonight as I was just taking her into my bed (so lazy I know).  My LO slept in my dads last night with my sister and she phoned earlier to LO she was asleep at 8.20, woke at 6am for a hug apparently and slept to 10.15am!!!  Wee rascal! 

Siobhan x

[anna*]

I'd talk it up that there are going to be no more bottles in bed. A bottle before bed, then brush teeth, then a story and sleep. If he wakes in the night and needs water, he doesn't need you to offer it to him - if he's crying, you can walk in, say 'there is water in your cup if you want it', and then leave him to it. It sounds to me like he's trying it on to see when he can get a bottle. If you tell him there is no milk until morning, and stick to it, my bet is that pretty soon he'll give up on whining for it.

I wouldn't give him any bottles until wake up time. If his day runs 8am-8pm, then no milk til 8am. I would also give him that first milk of the day in a sippy, if he doesn't take much then no dramas, he can just eat more for breakfast.

Could also be worth a check of your routine, how is his napping?

[~*Nicole*~]

Just wanted to throw in....You said he's a terrible eater during the day b/c of the bottles during the night etc. etc. Cyclic and all. Since YOU feel guilty that he may be hungry....could you try offering him food/snacks/milk MORE often during the day than you do now, for a day or two? If he's playing for instance, could you hand him a sippy of milk or a couple of crackers. It's probably not necessary but would make YOU feel better about NOT giving in at night??

[anna*]

Agree with Nicole - a BIG snack before bed, like maybe a banana or some porridge/rice pudding or a peanut butter toast or something - will just give you that reassurance that he's really not that hungry.

[Shiv52]

Thats a great idea,  we often have a bowl of porridge before bed if we've had a rubbish eating day. 

[Rebecca247]

Thanks so much to all you gorgeous ladies for the great advice and words of encouragement. I know i can do it as we have beforehand i just need to find the willpower within i think!

I will definately from tonight (as we are home for once) offer the milk on the couch not the cot (worth a try) and see how he goes!
Since he is such a terrible eater and NEVER asks for food this sounds terrible but I sometimes forget to offer him food as he rejects everything anyway!
So i will start to offer more during the day, he has just woken up from a 1.5hr nap which he had milk before he went to bed but he hadnt eaten anything all morning except one bite of toast and a few shreds of grated cheese! he isnt 100% well either so a trip to the Dr wont go astray just incase he has a sore throat or something, his cough is quite croupy!

I will go and offer him some yoghurt or something now and see how we go!
Thanks again ladies you are all truely amazing! xxx

[~*Nicole*~]

Hope it goes well. It stinks when they're not eating well.

[Rebecca247]

Well he got the all clear at the Dr's today, nothing wrong with him at all yay.....

So the NEW routine started tonight!
He actually ate a full bowl of beef and veggie risotto for dinner and a tub of yoghurt (yay yay again)

He then had his bath and DH read his book to him twice and i gave him his bottle on the couch while he was catching up with DH after he finished work, I took him to the bathroom and we brushed teeth, he was quite happy to take his sippy of water to bed and he went straight to sleep.....So that part of the routine went reasonably well i think! I'm sure it wont be so easy at 2 or 3 or 4 or 5am but hey we will conquer that, i'm abit more positive about it tonight!
I told him there is no more milk in the cot and he wont be having any during the night, he repeated what i said, so we will soon see!

Thanks again Ladies, i couldnt get thru these times without you all!
xxxxx

[anna*]

(((hugs))) Rebecca, I'm sure it will be a few rough nights but hopefully he may surprise you!

[~*Nicole*~]

Sending you "stay strong and stick it out" vibes...it's so hard to stick with a plan at 2, 3, 4, 5am...I know.

[Shiv52]

Glad he was so happy to have his milk on the sofa!  Good boy Max!!

Hope the night went well xxx