My 9.5 month old is constantly over tired. He has been a mess since he was 7 months old and our family life became extremely chaotic. He went from taking a 1.5 hr morning nap and a 1 hr afternoon nap to 30 min max for each. He has had a problem with waking early since he was 4 months old.
He got in the habit of going to sleep in my arms and now I'm trying to use P.U./P.D to get him to sleep on his own. But I'm confused about everything and I need help getting his little life back on track. I can't stand to see him miserable any more.
Typical day before we started P.U./P.D.:
7pm bed (varies by 20 minutes each side)
wake between 4 and 5:30 - verrrrrrrrrry difficult to get him back to sleep. He usually does 30 seconds of tired complaining and then plays happily for 10-20 minutes before asking us to come in and then wants to get up and play if its Daddy, eat if it's Mommy. He is always exhausted 1/1.5 hours after he wakes up. I used to rock him until that time and then he would sleep for maybe another half an hour.
7am nursing
7:45 breakfast (oatmeal and blueberries, for example)
8:30/9:00 25-30 min nap in crib. Sometimes I could convince him to go back to sleep for another 20-30 minutes
10:00 nursing
11:45 lunch (example: lentils and squash)
12:30/1:00 20-30 minute nap in crib. Sometimes could be convinced to sleep another 20-30 minutes
2:00 nursing
3pm cranky, sometimes nursing for a while because he's so tired and can't do anything else
4pm cranky, sometimes nursing or sleeping for 20 minutes on breast (cries if he thinks I'm going to attempt to get him to sleep in his crib that time of day)
5:15 dinner
6-6:30 nurse for last time
bath, cuddle
7pm-ish bed.
Since he is so tired all the time, he can't get any good rest, no matter what I do. I have tried driving him through naps (maybe could get 35 - 40 minutes of sleep) and holding him (still wakes up at 30 minute mark and can be lulled back to sleep for a while longer).
I don't know what time I would even try wake to sleep, since his wake-ups are in the same time frame but not exact. He used to have his early morning wake up at 3am, but it has thankfully moved to 4 and, more often 5. He will stir at 4 no matter what but can often put himself back to sleep until 5. He hasn't slept past 5:30 since he was 4 months old, but he is always extremely tired by 6 or 6:30.
I know I need to alter his schedule but I don't know how. Watching for signs of tiredness is useless because he is ALWAYS tired. I tired implementing "The Plan" in Chapter 1 pg 43 of Tracy's "Solves Your Problems" book using P.U/P.D., but it resulted in crying for 1.5 hrs for morning nap and finally 20 min of sleep in the afternoon nap before waking him. Night wasn't too bad. 2nd day eventually 20 minutes for morning nap before waking him and crying straight through afternoon nap. Bed time was better.
I'm really just doing the P.D. part since he is almost 10 mos. I don't know what to do because he will just sit up and stop crying, but not go to sleep for both naps and early morning. He's soooooo tired. I know I'm not supposed to intervene if he isn't crying, but he's just refusing to sleep and I don't know what to do! I don't know when I'm supposed to be using my voice, either. If he isn't crying what do I do?
I'm so confused and sure I'm just making things worse. Please help my sad baby!
