Sooky, lovey (what ever you wanna call it) during activity or only for sleep?

[greenteamomma]

I keep going back and forth on this one.  I don't know why it bothers me but I keep feeling like I'm doing something wrong if I let my son play with his sooky blanket when its not sleep time.  He sometimes cries for it if he sees it on the back of the couch with his sleep sack.  I give it to him and then I get this twinge and start to wonder if I should have just hid it better 
He'll play with it for a bit and then inevidably drop it. 

He'll be going to daycare soon, actually he'll be the only child during the majority of the day.  I need to decide before he goes what the ground rules are. 

I think my main concern is for later.  Will he become more dependent on it later if he gets access to it all the time.  Am I creating a monster by him having it all the time?  Will it lose its magic if its not just for sleep time?   

Anyone have any experience, advice, suggestions, research etc? 

[~Emma~]

All I have is my own experience! Personally we just keep it for sleep time as it gives DS a strong sleep cue.

 Regarding dependance, well i dont think its really an issue as its a comfort item as opposed to a prop iyswim.

 

 

[Shiv52]

We generally keep ours in the cot but if she sees it and wants it I let her have it and once she's forgotten about it I put it back in the cot.

I'd be inclined to keep it to sleep times but when my LO goes to stay with my sister which isn't very often I tell my sister to let her have it when she wants it as its a comfort item as well as a sleep cue IMO.  It may actually be a help to your LO when settling into daycare as it will be familiar.

My LO is 20 months and we haven't had an issue with her becoming too dependent on it or it losing its sleep magic!  I think so long as you monitor its use it should be fine.  I think its a personal decision as some LOs have a  lovey they carry everywhere all day long whereas others limit it to sleep time. 

 

[~Emma~]

Shiv - LOVE the avatar.

[We Three]

be right back....have much to say and no time to say it!!!!

[Mashi]

We are the opposite to everyone above -- DS has his lovey whenever he wants it.  He likes to sit Bunny beside him on the sofa while he's having his milk (and share his milk), he likes reading stories to Bunny, he likes Bunny to sit on the table during lunch time, and so on.  Bunny's pretty stinky but "Bunny Too" comes out of the drawer every now and again while Bunny gets a wash. And most of the time DS runs to check on him going round in circles in the washing machine and either waves and laughs or sits next to the washing machine crying, depending on his mood.

He also likes to line all of his stuffed toys up and play silly games with them, except that all of his other little toys are allowed to do silly things except Bunny...

[We Three]

Us too, Mashi. DD has bun whenever she wants.  For us, it is a comfort item, not just a sleep item.  Lo's are so attactched to their lovies, and IMO that is a GOOD thing. They can soothe and calm even when Mommy can't.  The only rule there has ever been is that bun stays home..from day one...we kiss it goodbye and go. She never has asked to bring it, since it has just never been an option.

It is hard to ask our lo to rely on something for comfort, but then try to limit that item....kwim?  I think, they need it when they need it, it's a healthy thing, so we just let dd self-regulate!  If she asks for bun, it is because she is tired, upset, or just feeling snuggly.  I love that she has bun...she is a member of the family!  While we began using it for sleep (we would tuck bun between us at wind-down), she soon came to see it as not only for sleep, but for any time that was quiet and relaxing..(books, tv, etc).

IMHO...(I am a huge lovey-advocate, obviously), I don't see how denying them the thing they have grown to love could "not" be confusing and frustrating for them?  Again, jmho.

[anna*]

We encourage Stan to leave his bunny in bed (mostly because Stan sucks his feet and he gets SO wet and stinky so quickly), but if it is too difficult to leave bunny behind then we don't push it. Also if Stan asks for bunny during A time it a sure sign he is feeling sad, unwell or tired - he really only wants bunny when he needs comforting.

We do take bunny with us when we go out if it is a long car journey (Stan hates the car), or if there's a risk of being delayed getting back. There is no way Stan will sleep without his bunny so any outings that coincide with nap or sleep time, bun goes too.

Poor bun. He's such a good friend to Stan, but he really does take a beating sometimes.

[greenteamomma]

Thanks for the feedback ladies.  I really don't mind the sooky, its nice and soft and perty!  I just wondered and like I said I always seem to get a twinge about it when he sees it up high and cries out for it.  I really am not sure why. 
I wanted him to have a comfort item cause I knew the benefits.  It took him a while to get attached to his sooky blanket though.  He used it for a "pillow" for some time until he started to pick it up when I picked him up.  We have a sooky too also Mashi!